Teachers wear many hats on any given day, and sometimes even have to wear multiple hats at a time. It’s a constant balancing act, requiring a teacher’s mind to always be in “on” mode, ready to switch hats and act in a new capacity. One of those capacities is that of a support person in times of crisis or distress.
Dysregulation is, by definition, when there is an imbalance or disruption to the regular function of a system. Typically when we see this manifested in students, there has been some sort of trigger that has upset the regular balance of emotions and/or behaviors. This can lead to outbursts, heightened emotions, muddled thinking, and even physical reactions.
When a student becomes dysregulated, a teacher must often step in to offer assistance, comfort, and guidance. A teacher’s priority is to keep their students safe, so in a situation where a student has become dysregulated, the teacher must ensure that the struggling student, as well as all other students in the room, remain safe. The specific actions taken to restore balance and calm can look different in every situation, but there are a few steps that remain consistent across the board. Employing these tactics can help to deescalate a situation quickly so that the classroom can return to a safe space for everyone as soon as possible.
Remove Triggers
If possible, remove whatever it is causing the student to become dysregulated. If it is another student, separate them. If it is frustration over an assignment, remove the assignment from their desk for a bit. Whatever it is, try to find a way to put some distance between the dysregulated student and the trigger.
Stay calm & Reassure
A dysregulated adult cannot effectively calm down a dysregulated student. Remaining calm– as difficult as that can sometimes be– is incredibly helpful when you are attempting to calm a student down. They can sense your emotions and will mirror them. Remember, we don’t need to add our chaos to their chaos!
Offer Space
A student who is feeling out of sorts often needs space to regroup. If they feel cornered, it could potentially escalate their already heightened emotions, leading to a worse situation. If, however, a student is being physically reactive, intervention may need to be made to remove the student from the situation so as to prevent themselves and/or others from getting harmed.
Validate Feelings & Actively Listen
Name to tame– identify the emotions and feelings so students know what it is they are feeling. Once they have named what they feel, it is easier to identify ways to regulate those feelings. Let the student know that feelings aren’t bad– we all have them! It’s how we manage them when they feel out of control that matters most in a situation like this. Take time to listen to what the student has to say, and use good listening strategies so they know you hear them– nod when appropriate, make eye contact, repeat back key points or phrases to show you’ve understood them, and ask questions to clarify as needed. Students are more likely to calm down and feel safe if they know they have a trusted adult who cares about them.
Give options and choices for alternatives
Find an alternative activity for the student to do until they feel calm enough to engage with classmates again. This might look different for every student. Perhaps you might offer some time in a calm down corner, or maybe allowing the student to put on some headphones and listen to a meditation exercise. Other students might respond well to a coloring activity or perhaps even a sensory activity like play-doh or kinetic sand. A fidget toy or stress ball might be a great alternative activity for an escalated student as well!
Choose your battles
As a teacher, you reach a point where you realize that some battles just aren’t worth fighting. Assess the situation, and make a choice. If the cause of the dysregulation really is an issue, address it and find a solution. If the cause of dysregulation really isn’t that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things, learn to let some things go. You as the teacher get to make that call.
Know when to ask for extra support
Occasionally, you may find that you have a student so dysregulated that you can’t handle it on your own. Learn your limits and learn to recognize when you need an extra hand. It might be that you need someone else to come remove the student from the room, or maybe you need someone to come sit with the rest of your students so that you can step out and help your student resolve whatever it is that is triggering them. Schools are full of other teachers and staff who are willing and ready to step in should the need arise.
Teachers can do so much when it comes to helping their students learn to manage their feelings in appropriate ways. When a teacher takes the time to walk through deescalating techniques, students can learn methods and techniques to calm themselves down. As they practice these methods, they begin to realize that they can handle their triggers on their own and that they have the tools needed to regulate their own emotions without outside help, and that becomes a skill that they can use the rest of their lives.