Helping Students Communicate

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been doing a series of posts about the 7 Cs of education. So far I’ve covered Critical Thinking, Creativity, and Collaboration. Each ‘C’ is useful on its own, but can also be very effective when combined with other ‘Cs’. Today’s ‘C’ is, I think, one of the most important of the 7 Cs: Communication. 

The ability to effectively communicate is such an important skill for kids to learn, especially in today’s world where there are so many different ways to communicate. The art of in person communication seems to be dwindling as digital forms of communication are rapidly developing and changing. And yet, it is still such an important skill to have. Students need to learn how to speak with another individual face to face, as it will help them immensely as they go out into the world, interview for jobs, work with coworkers, and so forth. 

Since we do live in such a digital world, it’s also crucial that we teach our students how to communicate through the various digital means available. They ought to know when it’s appropriate to use “lazy”/slang text versus when they ought to be more formal. Students will inevitably have to communicate with bosses, coworkers, or other adults via email, and knowing how to properly format an email will come in handy. 

Another important aspect of communication is teaching kids to be able to effectively communicate their wants and needs, and learning when it would be appropriate and inappropriate to express those various things. For example, students can learn that while the class is taking a test might not be the best time to loudly announce they need to use the restroom. On the other hand, they can learn that watching their classmates play a sport would be an appropriate time and place to use a louder voice to communicate their excitement and encouragement. 

The methods in which we teach our students how to communicate can come in all shapes and sizes. It will vary from one content area to another. It doesn’t matter how we go about teaching it, only that we are finding ways to encourage and promote healthy communication amongst our students. Below are a few ways you might consider bringing and/or modeling communication practice into your curriculum:

  • Write-Pair-Share: After students answer a “question of the day” or class opener of some sort, have them share responses with a neighbor. Encourage them to talk to someone new each time you ask them to do this.
  • Give an assignment where students exchange emails with another student. 
  • Have students practice interviewing others.
  • Assign students to email a business, using proper formatting and word choice.
  • During group discussions, provide a “talking piece”. Only the student who has possession of the talking piece can speak. This encourages students to listen and to exercise self control while waiting for their turn to speak.
  • Teach about and practice using proper body language– many kids don’t realize just how much body language can communicate.
  • Help students in your class learn their classmates’ names. Doing this helps them to be able to clearly communicate when they are speaking with someone.
  • Make your classroom a safe space. Students are more likely to effectively communicate their needs, opinions, and input if they feel like what they say will matter.
  • Establish a communication system early on. Will you use school email to keep students and parents informed? Will you use a communication app like Remind, Bloomz, ParentSquare, or ClassDojo? Whatever you choose to use, be consistent with it so that students and parents will know where they can go to keep up to date with classroom happenings as well as to contact you if they have questions.

Teaching and practicing effective communication within the classroom is essential for a smooth running classroom. It helps students have a clear idea of what to do, what is expected, and helps them feel seen and heard. In addition to these things, it teaches students how to be effective communicators, thus setting them up for success in all areas of their lives.

Restoring the Peace

Teachers wear many hats on any given day, and sometimes even have to wear multiple hats at a time. It’s a constant balancing act, requiring a teacher’s mind to always be in “on” mode, ready to switch hats and act in a new capacity. One of those capacities is that of a support person in times of crisis or distress. 

Dysregulation is, by definition, when there is an imbalance or disruption to the regular function of a system. Typically when we see this manifested in students, there has been some sort of trigger that has upset the regular balance of emotions and/or behaviors. This can lead to outbursts, heightened emotions, muddled thinking, and even physical reactions. 

When a student becomes dysregulated, a teacher must often step in to offer assistance, comfort, and guidance. A teacher’s priority is to keep their students safe, so in a situation where a student has become dysregulated, the teacher must ensure that the struggling student, as well as all other students in the room, remain safe. The specific actions taken to restore balance and calm can look different in every situation, but there are a few steps that remain consistent across the board. Employing these tactics can help to deescalate a situation quickly so that the classroom can return to a safe space for everyone as soon as possible. 

Remove Triggers

If possible, remove whatever it is causing the student to become dysregulated. If it is another student, separate them. If it is frustration over an assignment, remove the assignment from their desk for a bit. Whatever it is, try to find a way to put some distance between the dysregulated student and the trigger.

Stay calm & Reassure

A dysregulated adult cannot effectively calm down a dysregulated student. Remaining calm– as difficult as that can sometimes be– is incredibly helpful when you are attempting to calm a student down. They can sense your emotions and will mirror them. Remember, we don’t need to add our chaos to their chaos!

Offer Space

A student who is feeling out of sorts often needs space to regroup. If they feel cornered, it could potentially escalate their already heightened emotions, leading to a worse situation. If, however, a student is being physically reactive, intervention may need to be made to remove the student from the situation so as to prevent themselves and/or others from getting harmed. 

Validate Feelings & Actively Listen

Name to tame– identify the emotions and feelings so students know what it is they are feeling. Once they have named what they feel, it is easier to identify ways to regulate those feelings. Let the student know that feelings aren’t bad– we all have them! It’s how we manage them when they feel out of control that matters most in a situation like this. Take time to listen to what the student has to say, and use good listening strategies so they know you hear them– nod when appropriate, make eye contact, repeat back key points or phrases to show you’ve understood them, and ask questions to clarify as needed. Students are more likely to calm down and feel safe if they know they have a trusted adult who cares about them.

Give options and choices for alternatives

Find an alternative activity for the student to do until they feel calm enough to engage with classmates again. This might look different for every student. Perhaps you might offer some time in a calm down corner, or maybe allowing the student to put on some headphones and listen to a meditation exercise. Other students might respond well to a coloring activity or perhaps even a sensory activity like play-doh or kinetic sand. A fidget toy or stress ball might be a great alternative activity for an escalated student as well!

Choose your battles

As a teacher, you reach a point where you realize that some battles just aren’t worth fighting. Assess the situation, and make a choice. If the cause of the dysregulation really is an issue, address it and find a solution. If the cause of dysregulation really isn’t that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things, learn to let some things go. You as the teacher get to make that call.

Know when to ask for extra support

Occasionally, you may find that you have a student so dysregulated that you can’t handle it on your own. Learn your limits and learn to recognize when you need an extra hand. It might be that you need someone else to come remove the student from the room, or maybe you need someone to come sit with the rest of your students so that you can step out and help your student resolve whatever it is that is triggering them. Schools are full of other teachers and staff who are willing and ready to step in should the need arise. 

Teachers can do so much when it comes to helping their students learn to manage their feelings in appropriate ways. When a teacher takes the time to walk through deescalating techniques, students can learn methods and techniques to calm themselves down. As they practice these methods, they begin to realize that they can handle their triggers on their own and that they have the tools needed to regulate their own emotions without outside help, and that becomes a skill that they can use the rest of their lives.