It was the end of lunchtime. I finished up in the teacher’s lounge and was just about to head up to my classroom when I suddenly had to run to the bathroom.
After a long journey of trying to conceive, multiple rounds of fertility treatments, and finally a positive pregnancy test — I felt sure I was losing that baby.
The details of all that followed are a bit of a blur. I managed to get someone to cover my class as my kids returned from lunch, managed to get down to the office to explain why I had to leave.
But what will forever remain clear in my memory was the compassion of my principal, Kathy Watson. She listened as I sobbed. She held my hands, hugged me, reassured me that I could take all the time I needed.
Equally precious was what she did not do. She didn’t bring up sub plans, she didn’t hint at a meeting she was probably late for, she didn’t remind me of leave policies, and she didn’t try to minimize my pain in any way. I knew that in that moment of crisis, nothing was more important than her being there for me.
In short, she valued my humanity as a teacher and as a human being.
I wish valuing teachers’ humanity is something we could all take for granted. But somehow, as we wave our banners for what’s best for students, sometimes what’s best for teachers gets forgotten. A sad recent example (with many more in the thread):
When I was a class-teacher my son was rushed into hospital. It was touch and go.
My headteacher’s response was “Why aren’t you coming into school his mum is with him?”
This defined how I treat staff at my school…essentially I do the opposite.
— Simon Smith (@smithsmm) July 25, 2018
As in many instances when I’m writing about something vulnerable, I’m reminded of something author Brene Brown wrote:
What I’ve also learned from Brene’s work is that it’s impossible to be selective about our empathy. We cannot profess to have empathy for our students and then deny it for our teachers. We need to find ways to let all those around us with whom we would like to make meaningful connections that they are not alone, that we are with them in the arena, too.
I am grateful to report that after a couple of dark weeks, we found that the baby’s heart was still beating. My son is a thriving 4 year-old today. I am also grateful to have had the chance to experience such empathy from my principal. Both are precious moments I will carry with me for a lifetime.
What are ways we can show teachers we value their humanity
even when especially if it throws a wrench into plans? How does modeling this kind of empathy impact our students and their learning?
featured image: DeathToTheStockPhoto
4 Replies to “On Valuing Teacher Humanity”
I’m so pleased for you on all counts, Mary – that you were shown compassion, that your baby is now a thriving four-year-old, and that you continue to make a powerful impact on our world.
Thanks so much for your kind words, Norah!
Thanks for sharing this story, Mary.
My wife and I also followed this long and challenging path. We suffered some silent and devastating losses along the way, but we were extremely fortunate to end up with our now happy and healthy 2yo, and we are expecting a daughter in December.
We often don’t know what others are going through. Practicing compassion and empathy is vital, and a choice.
Thanks so much, Abe. My heart reaches out to you guys for what you have suffered, and I’m sorry you had to do so silently as well. I wish it were something we could all talk about more, but meanwhile, you are absolutely right about the importance of practicing empathy. I am thrilled for your beautiful growing family!