Tag: stress

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Helping Students Manage Stress

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “Two things are certain in life: death and taxes.” And while that’s true, I would add a third certainty: stress. Everyone will, at one point or another, experience stress in their lives. The level of severity might differ, but the existence of stressors is a given. 

I wish I could say that stress only happens once you’re an adult, but that’s just not the case. Kids and teens are experiencing stress early on. As adults, we have had more time to figure out how to handle the various kinds of stresses that come into our lives. But for teens and kids, managing stress can be overwhelming when they don’t have knowledge of or access to proper stress management techniques. Teachers have a unique opportunity to be able to incorporate those kinds of skills and techniques into their curriculum, thus providing the rising generation with the tools they will need to manage the stress they encounter. 

You may have a few techniques that you know work, but there are always more to learn and try. Below are some stress management techniques you might consider teaching your students. 

  • Teach students to organize and prioritize their time. Show them how to use a planner or digital task tracker. When you feel more organized, tasks feel easier to take on.
  • Help students to learn and practice various breathing techniques for high stress moments.
  • Practice mindfulness as a class, then teach them to practice it individually.
  • Belly breathing– this helps to redirect their focus and calm their nervous systems.
  • Physical activity– movement does amazing things for the brain, and is a great way to release emotional energy.
  • Journaling- doing a brain dump is a great way for kids to get everything out that is stressing them so they feel like they can move forward.
  • Art- creating art is a great stress reliever! It’s a really good creative outlet that can help students refocus.
  • Encourage students to get a good night’s sleep. Solid sleep has amazing benefits in so many areas. 
  • Teach students to use the 5-4-3-2-1 method: identify 5 things they can see, 4 things they can touch, 3 things they can hear, 2 things they can smell, and 1 thing they can taste. You can practice this together as a class and have students write their answers down, then as they get comfortable with the process, they can do it on their own.
  • Teach your class how to do progressive muscle relaxation as a way to calm down in stressful situations.
  • Do regular brain breaks during class time as a way to break up the time, get students moving, and to give their minds a break from the rigors of learning.

Kids of all ages can benefit from these stress management techniques. Providing kids with proper tools can help them tremendously, and can help them turn to healthy ways to manage stress rather than unhealthy ways.

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The Ultimate Test for Child-Directed Learning

This is not a drill. This is the ultimate test for honoring child-directed learning.

And it turns out I failed the first round.

How many times have I written about working from a place of love instead of fear? Yet I’m afraid that fear has been at the helm far too often over the last week. But I’m going to be kind to myself as I decide to try again each day through this crisis. Meanwhile, here are some of the lessons we’ve learned so far:

#1: Schedules & Routines are valuable, but remember to co-construct them with your children!

Here was my first attempt:

At first, I felt pleased because I had my daughter write and post it for our family. But it was still entirely conceived by me, with no input from my children. And it, um…didn’t go well.

The timetables didn’t work for all 3 kids at the same time, with some finishing fast, others experiencing boredom, and others feeling anxiety to do something that was arbitrarily placed later in the day. I struggled to get any of my own remote teaching done as I was constantly interrupted by “I’m done; what can I do next?”

As I fell asleep last night, I realized that in my fear of making sure my kids got all their physical, emotional, and intellectual needs taken care of, I was neglecting the key ingredient: autonomy. And with it, the peace and confidence that’s fostered by purpose & ownership.

I resolved to do better the next morning, and I fell asleep thinking about all the years and ways I have tried to help my children visualize and own their schedules & routines…

…and I decided to sit down with each of them to talk about what they hoped the day would bring.

#2: Take time to truly listen, early and often.

As a result of our discussions this morning, I learned from my 9 year-old that writing time slots with her schedule created tremendous unnecessary pressure for her. She preferred to write a sequence that could be flexible. I also learned that she preferred to finish all her difficult tasks (like cleaning her guinea pigs’ cage and homework) first thing in the morning.

And from my 5 year-old, I learned that he wanted me to draw pictures next to each item on his list, talking through each one so it made sense to him.

Setting the tone for listening first thing in our day has fostered more meaningful discussion, self-awareness, and self-regulation throughout the day. Words like, “When I do __, it helps me feel __.” And we all need this kind of mindfulness now more than ever.

#3: For the schoolwork coming home right now, try to make it as independently accessible for your children as possible.

For my 9 year-old, this looks like creating a Google Keep note with checkboxes, sharing it with her, and then adding any additional tasks I hear from her teacher to this one document as we go. That way, tasks don’t slip between the cracks, and I don’t overwhelm my daughter by telling her again and again, “Oh, and don’t forget this other assignment!”

For my 5 year-old, this looks like having a designated folder on the counter where he can access all the materials he needs each day. He doesn’t have to wait around for me in order to get started each day, which helps us both tremendously!

I still have work to do to improve this situation for all three of my children and myself, but our home feels more peaceful than it has in days. Now that I’m working toward child-directed learning again, the ship is righting once more, and we can look toward tomorrow with greater confidence and hope.

My very best wishes to families and teachers everywhere at this time! Remember to hold onto what you value and cherish most, and to be kind to yourselves through this stressful time!

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Owning That They CAN’T Always Control What We Think They Should

I used to think…students could control a lot more I do now.

Now I know…there is a whole lot more out of their control than I realized.

I used to think…part of my job as a teacher was to hold them accountable so they could learn responsibility.

Now I know…holding a child accountable for that which they have only partial or zero control is fundamentally unjust.

I used to think…self-control was all about helping them take care of themselves.

Now I know…sometimes our emphasis on control is less about their needs and more about our agenda. 

So as you view images like this “What I can/can’t control” example…

…consider these questions:

  • how might the home environment impact a student’s control homework completion (including but absolutely not limited to internet access, books in the home, library access, care for other siblings, etc.)
  • how might the way certain values are (or are NOT) emphasized and valued at home impact the way a student views them, such as education and hard work?
  • how might the stability (or lack thereof) of a students’ upbringing impact his/her ability to trust people enough to ask for help, try again, or respond to challenges in responsible ways?
  • to what degree should hold students accountable for values we have always been taught to cherish when they may have been taught that other values matter more (taking care of family over studying for a test, for example)?
  • how might chronic or toxic stress impact a student’s capacity for self-control?

I suspect the list of questions could go on for some time.

Which is why:

1) we can’t ignore the reality of compassion fatigue and why self care should be a massive emphasis for teachers everywhere. It’s incredibly draining for teachers who choose to seek understanding and responsiveness amid a myriad of difficult circumstances.

2) it’s worth considering why self-regulation > self-control.

3) I love Brene Brown’s Engaged Feedback Checklist, which I’ve shared on this blog many times. “I’m willing to put the problem in front of us rather than between us (or sliding it toward you).”

4) we should step away from the stickers:

“If a child is demonstrating stress behaviours, they may be telling us that our expectations are too much for them. Reducing the stressors may mean changing our program or our routines. If we are asking young children like Michael to sit for too long, listen for too long, or complete too many worksheets, then no number of stickers is going to be enough incentive for a child who is not developmentally ready.”

How can assuming more ownership over this issue of control with a stance of curiosity impact the students in your classroom?

featured image: DeathToTheStockPhoto