#TeacherMom Thoughts on Underestimating Our Kids

underestimating our kids

A month before my daughter’s 2nd birthday I researched the best gift to give her. I didn’t want more pointless toys to fill her room and never be played with, so I set out to give her the perfect gift. Through all of my research and talking with friends, I finally found the perfect gift! A balance bike. If you’re not familiar with a balance bike, it’s a two wheeler bike that kids pump with their feet instead of pedals. The idea behind a balance bike is that it teaches kids how to balance on a bike instead of relying on training wheels, making the transition to a standard two wheel pedal bike that much easier. 

The first day we got the bike my daughter was so excited! However, upon attempting to ride the bike, she quickly became frustrated because she couldn’t do it. So naturally, I became frustrated with myself that I tried to pick out the BEST gift, but it seemed to have flopped, because she didn’t like it and couldn’t do it. 

However, day after day, we practiced and practiced the bike. We had many walks around the neighborhood and bike rides with friends and eventually it was starting to click. It absolutely did not happen overnight, but it did happen! She then continued to ride the balance bike for a year and a half after that original day of her looking at it reluctantly, and I was proud of the progress she had made. 

Eventually, she became very adept on her balance bike and started noticing that other, older kids were riding pedal bikes. Naturally, she started asking for one. I was hesitant to agree, because of her age. She was only 3.5 years old! I continued to say no to her day after day, all the while, she kept asking. 

Finally, I found a second-hand pedal bike equipped with training wheels within our budget and caved, mostly because it had the training wheels. I figured it would give her a chance to learn how to pedal on a bike, since she had not learned that yet. 

When I came home with the bike, she immediately grabbed her helmet and took off. It only took a second of fumbling with the pedals before she figured it out, and off she went. She rode two houses down, turned around, and came right back. I was BAFFLED. It almost felt like my eyes and brain weren’t working. Was I really watching my daughter effortlessly ride a pedal bike? Granted, with training wheels, but I was still thoroughly impressed. 

The next day when we got the bike out again to ride again, I noticed that the training wheels weren’t actually hitting the ground much, she was mostly riding the bike herself, and when I addressed it with her, she told me she needed them and couldn’t ride without them on. It took a lot of talking and convincing and discussion, but eventually she let us take the training wheels off. Then, I did what a lot of parents do with their kids. I stooped over and I held the back of her seat and one handlebar while she slowly gained her balance, straightened the bike out, and continued to ride as my hands loosened grip and eventually let go. The moment I let go I knew it was a ride or die moment. She would either continue pedaling and fly, or realize what was happening and crash. I held my breath to see what would happen…. 

And she did it! She continued to pump her feet and steer the bike with the perfection that any 3.5 year old could have. I was so proud of her! And again, I honestly could not believe my eyes. 

That night I was reflecting on the situation and absolutely in awe that my 3 year old could ride a two-wheeler pedal bike by herself. I distinctly remember when I learned to ride a bike, I was in first grade and boasted to all of my 6 year old friends about it the next day at school. How did my child learn to ride a bike at half that age? 

When it boils down to it- I underestimated her. In my mind, I believed that kids learn to ride a bike around kindergarten to first grade, and even though I set up my child for success by providing her with a balance bike at a young age, I still could not wrap my mind around the fact that she had the ability to do this on her own. From the very first time I shut down her idea of a pedal bike, I was shutting down the idea that she was capable. 

What else was I underestimating my kids on? Definitely their ability to climb a ladder. Or anytime I called out “be careful” while they were on a playground. Why was I forcing them to live in this idealistic box of how old they had to be to climb a ladder or ride a bike? Because it was for my own comfort. I wasn’t prepared to see them fail, but we all know that we can’t find success without a little failure. 

In a classroom setting, are we underestimating our kids? Are we sticking to our curriculum, and robbing them of the opportunity to see how far their learning can take them? What discussions are we having with them to think deeper and continue beyond the test? 

In the end, we need to stop underestimating our kids. We need to give them the benefit of the doubt and see how far their minds and bodies can take them, because they may just soar. Or take off steadily on a pedal bike! You never know until you give them the opportunity to show you. 

A List Of Our Favorite Toys

Toys are an important part of childhood. They may create clutter and stress in our lives as parents and teachers, but the truth is, they can be essential to our kid’s childhood. They don’t have to be noisy and there doesn’t have to be a lot of them, as long as they are intentional. Here are our favorite toys we keep at our house. In fact, the less noisy and flashy they are, the better development wise. 

Magnet tiles- Learning more about magnets AND the ability to build various structures. They are also an easy add-to collection. Where we can continue to purchase more as gifts to my kids, but our abundance of toys doesn’t feel overrun. 

Wooden blocks- Again, building! Imagination! And sustainable materials. 

Kitchen set with food and dishes- More pretend play has happened in our play kitchen (both outdoor and indoor) than anywhere else in our house. 

Pop open tent- I’m a big fan of these because they fold flat for easy storage behind or under the couch. Our next purchase will be a pop up tunnel. 

Baby dolls- Both my son and daughter love playing pretend with our collection of baby dolls. None of them are very fancy and we’ve thrifted the majority of them. 

Outdoor kitchen with real pots and pans- I spent a weekend thrifting old pots, pans, silverware, and other kitchen dishes that we’ve put into our little playhouse in the backyard. These combined with some dirt and water seem to be our most popular toy! 

The toys you choose to have in your home for your kids don’t have to be extravagant and don’t have to be flashy. In fact, the less batteries required, the better! The more work your child has to do in order to play with the toy, the more learning and growing that is happening. 

What are some of the favorite toys in your house? 

Fostering Independent Play

I recently wrote an article on how play is a learned trait for children, they aren’t just pre-programmed knowing how to play alone. And another on the benefits of independent play. After preaching all of these great aspects of independent play, I think I owe it to the world to provide a few ways to foster independent play. Here are a few tips. 

  • Schedule independent play. Have a conversation with your child about it and set aside a time in the day for it. 
  • Make independent play predictable and an open conversation. 
  • Set the timer during the scheduled independent play. Start out small with 5 minutes, and work your way slowly to more and more time. 
  • Keep toys organized and available. It’s hard for kids to have a starting point for play if toys are scattered and unavailable. 
  • Keep toys minimal. It’s easier to keep them clean and organized when you are not overrun with too many. 
  • Create curated “activity bins” with all of the pieces and materials needed for specific activities such as a “race car” bin filled with cars, tracks, shops, and people. Or a “baby care” bin filled with baby dolls, pretend diapers, bottles, and maybe even a small bath. 

Most importantly, make independent play FUN! It can turn into a negative process for kids when they are constantly told to “just go play.” They can feel as if they are being shut out and unwanted. When independent play is worked on, enjoyable, and looked forward to, it can turn into a great process that eventually will become something that you don’t have to work hard to have your child practice, it’ll come more and more naturally to them. 

What other ways do you foster independent play in your children? 

Play Is A Learned Trait: It’s Not Always Natural For Kids

Play, play, play! 

If you throw the word “play” up in the search bar of this particular blog, you’ll find a plethora of articles on children and play. 

Here’s a full page with my play articles somewhat organized.

But there’s another point I want to touch on when it comes to play. This article comes from a time a few years ago when my oldest child  was almost two years old. I was trying to make dinner and the typical battle of trying to either keep her busy in the kitchen, or distract her with toys outside of the kitchen ensued. I generally love cooking, but have such a hard time with it when I have a kid standing right at my feet demanding attention! 

I kept saying the same thing over and over to her- 

“Go play! Please! Go find some toys and play!” 

This battle continued for days and weeks on end. Nothing ever worked! 

I started researching online ways I could get my daughter to play on her own, and there were some great ideas out there. However, I read one piece of advice that I so badly wished I would have saved so I could reference! But the article stated this- 

Play is not something that just comes naturally to every kid, it’s a learned skill they all need to develop over time. 

It was such simple advice, yet it was still advice that changed my whole perspective! I was a great parent at pulling out a sensory bin or whipping up a quick color match activity. However, I was never a parent that pulled out the blocks and showed my daughter how to build. Or drive the toy cars. We never played pretend with the baby dolls or made the plastic animals move. If no one ever showed her how to play with the toys, why should I have expected her to know what to do with them? 

Over the next several weeks we spent time down on the floor together building towers and rocking babies to sleep. And then it was a slow transition to “invitations to play” where I would leave out a small set up to spark my daughter’s imagination and I would let her take it from there. 

Eventually, she learned the skill of play, and making dinner became so much easier! We continued to practice playing together and she continued to practice it by herself when I needed the time to be alone. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a start in the right direction. 

My hope is that if you’re struggling with getting your child to play by themselves as well, this article can be eye-opening for you as well. 

Tell me in the comments how you helped your child learn the art of play! 

Indoor Winter Activities: Specifically Gross Motor

This winter has proven to be particularly hard for parents everywhere while we are trying to entertain our kids during these cold months without the aid of indoor playgrounds/ activities that we’ve had in the past. Being stuck inside all day can be so hard to get those gross motor skills working! 

While I am a big supporter of outdoor play in the winter, there is still a need for good, safe, gross motor play in the home. Here are a few of the ideas that have kept us sane. 

Indoor obstacle course: I just add painters tape X’s on the ground for my kids to jump on, our kitchen bench to crawl over or under. Utilize your stairs in the obstacle course if you can! Tape papers on the walls for them to high five, stools to jump off of, and more! 

Grab some plastic cups: set up either like bowling bins OR in a pyramid and roll a ball at them. Watch the “crash!” and set them up again! Don’t worry about having to set it up over and over again, that’s a great job for your kiddos to get in on. 

Practice some tumbling: Show them how to do somersaults, cartwheels, handstands, and more. There are videos on YouTube for kids to practice as well! 

Dance party: Get up and moving with a dance party! Throw on your favorite music and get everyone moving.

Wastebasket Basketball: Crumple up some paper and shoot it into the garbage or recycling bin. You could also challenge them to search around for pieces of trash around the house to toss in. Cleaner house, fun activity, everyone wins! 

Sticky note find: this is one that is hard to describe without a picture, so I had to borrow this one from Busy Toddler’s website. Hide the sticky notes around the house and have them run around finding the sticky notes and running back to organize it where it goes! We’ve done this with colors, shapes, numbers, letters, or even just pictures! 

Treasure Hunt: Grab a clipboard and a piece of paper and draw pictures of objects around the house for your littles to find. Once they find them, they can color it in, put a checkmark over it, or if accessible, have them take a camera or phone around taking pictures of their findings! 

Paint in the bathtub: painting is typically a fine motor skill. But once it’s moved to the tub, it can become a gross motor skill! When the shower walls become your canvas, movement is inevitable, they’ll be using their arms to paint, not just their hands. Also the biggest bonus: easy cleanup! You can buy specifically bathtub paints, or I’ve found that regular washable paint does fairly well too. Use your best judgment. 

Painters tape road: lay down some painter’s tape for “roads” throughout your home for your kiddos to drive cards on them. The biggest success with this is- make them go throughout your home. This is how you’ll get them moving! Keeping the tape in one congregated area of the playroom will keep the kids there too. Have the roads weave through the bedrooms and hallways, getting them to move their cars all over! You can extend this activity by setting up houses out of blocks and creating a whole city throughout the entire house! 

To see more posts on play and early childhood ages, check out this page

There’s More To Preschool Than Learning Letters & Numbers

I’ve had a lot of conversations with friends lately about their preschool-aged kids and how the majority of preschool teachers are very focused on learning letters. They assign homework or make comments like, “Maybe work with your student on their letters at home, he seems to not be picking them up as fast as other kids.” 

WHY.

Why are we so focused on kids learning letters and reading so early? Why are we adding to the stress and pressure moms feel? Why do we feel like walking away from preschool with every single letter memorized is our end goal here? 

Let’s talk about other skills kids learn and walk away with from preschool that is even more important than letters and numbers. 

  • Social skills- working with other children in play and at learning stations. 
  • Language skills- walking away from school talking better and easier to understand. 
  • Coping skills- how to handle emotions when mom and dad leave or someone takes a toy they wanted. 
  • Responsibility with sensory bins, play dough, paint, toys, and other items. 
  • Fine motor development- working through fine motor activities such as stickers or fingerpaint so later in life, they can do things like…. Hold a pencil. 
  • Gross motor development- jumping and skipping and throwing. 
  • Gaining a love and appreciation for literature.
  • Spatial awareness. 
  • How to open snacks independently. 
  • How to prepare food.
  • How to advocate for themselves. 
  • How to communicate needs and wants. 
  • Empathy and sympathy. 

There is a list of OVER TEN things that preschool-age students walk away with that are essential to the future of their education, yet we are still focusing on learning letters and numbers. Yes, learning letters and numbers are important and we should focus on them as well! But it shouldn’t be our only spotlight. Play is a child’s work, it’s how they learn and grow. If we are giving them adequate time to play and interact with peers and adults, that’s what they need more than anything.  

Please stop adding to the stress of parents and students by shoving numbers and letters down their throats! Please celebrate all of the accomplishments your child is achieving during preschool! 

Other helpful articles: 

Other Activities To Do Instead of Explicitly Teaching Letters

What is Play-Based Learning?

Reading Before Kindergarten

Kindergarten Prep Frenzy

What I’ve Learned Teaching Preschool 

A Whole Page of Early Ed Resources

Early Childhood Resources All In One Place!

Hi friends! A lot of my posts lately have been focused on early childhood and how we can foster this education as parents and teachers. It’s been my focus simply because it’s my daily life right now. I spend the majority of my day fostering the learning of a one-year-old and a three-year-old, so naturally, it’s where my thoughts have been centered.

Because I have been throwing this content at you so much, I felt like it needed a place where it’s all corralled for you for easier searching. Lo and behold! My early childhood page!

You can find the link to this new page here!

Featured on the page are sensory bin lists, tips, and recipes. Some thoughts on raising independent kids. Really great articles on PLAY. And bonus material on emotions in kids and using Myers- Briggs and Enneagram to understand your child better.

This list and page will be ever growing as I continue to create new content in this scope of ideas, so check back later for more articles. You can find this new page on our top banner under “blog”.