independent play – HonorsGradU

March 30, 2023March 30, 2023

Buying Into Kinder Readiness: It Needs to Stop

It was a very innocent Thursday. I was casually scrolling through social media catching up on what was going on in my friends’ lives. There was a video of Cindy’s four-year-old swinging independently for the very first time, a huge win for that little guy! Carly went to the water park with her littles. Sarah posted a video of her 3-year-old naming every shape, even a rhombus! Clark had a picture of him and his daughter sitting in their rocking chair enjoying a chapter book together.

“My daughter can’t name that many shapes, and she’s 4.”

It was an intrusive thought, but it still felt very real.

“She’s starting kindergarten soon, should I be reading chapter books to her?”

These thoughts are coming into my mind even after I’ve written countless articles on this very platform about not stressing over kindergarten readiness and really trying to hit home that what kids that age really need is copious amounts of freedom and play. I’ve scoured research articles, and other online posts, and I’ve even watched my own kids grow and develop. Yet somehow, I’m still here in this position. I’m seeing friends post about their 5-year-old reading entire sentences and writing his own Christmas list phonetically, wondering if I should work harder with my 4-year-old because there is no way she would be doing the same thing at his age. She’s still hit or miss on knowing all 26 letters. Never mind capital versus lowercase.

Even with my background in education and the years of research I’ve done for this blog, I’m still falling hard for buying into the fast track of kinder readiness. I cannot even imagine the amount of pressure parents feel to make sure their kids are doing everything and anything they can to read in preschool and get ahead so they can be the smartest and the best by kindergarten.

So here’s my reminder, to you and to myself.

Your child is doing great.

You can drop the expensive, intensive preschools and they are going to be just fine. Better off, probably.

If together you are talking, singing, reading, writing (drawing, coloring), and playing, then you’re doing everything they need you to do.

Play is a child’s work. Play is not a worksheet or studying magnets shaped like letters or shapes.

If your child is not reading before kindergarten, they are not behind. If your child isn’t reading by the end of kindergarten, they still aren’t behind!

Kids who learn to read at their own pace show a greater love and appreciation for reading later in life.

You are doing a really good job.

I know how stressful the push for kindergarten readiness is, I’ve fallen victim to it as well. It’s made me question if I’m not teaching my kids enough at times! Are they going to be smart enough to hold up in public school someday?

Don’t trust society’s push for your kid to cram everything into their little brains as fast as possible. Trust yourself. Trust your kids. That’s how you’re going to have the best shot at getting ready for kindergarten.

Fostering Independent Play

I recently wrote an article on how play is a learned trait for children, they aren’t just pre-programmed knowing how to play alone. And another on the benefits of independent play. After preaching all of these great aspects of independent play, I think I owe it to the world to provide a few ways to foster independent play. Here are a few tips.

Schedule independent play. Have a conversation with your child about it and set aside a time in the day for it.
Make independent play predictable and an open conversation.
Set the timer during the scheduled independent play. Start out small with 5 minutes, and work your way slowly to more and more time.
Keep toys organized and available. It’s hard for kids to have a starting point for play if toys are scattered and unavailable.
Keep toys minimal. It’s easier to keep them clean and organized when you are not overrun with too many.
Create curated “activity bins” with all of the pieces and materials needed for specific activities such as a “race car” bin filled with cars, tracks, shops, and people. Or a “baby care” bin filled with baby dolls, pretend diapers, bottles, and maybe even a small bath.

Most importantly, make independent play FUN! It can turn into a negative process for kids when they are constantly told to “just go play.” They can feel as if they are being shut out and unwanted. When independent play is worked on, enjoyable, and looked forward to, it can turn into a great process that eventually will become something that you don’t have to work hard to have your child practice, it’ll come more and more naturally to them.

What other ways do you foster independent play in your children?

May 20, 2021May 20, 2021

The Benefits Of Independent Play

Last week I wrote down some of my thoughts about independent play and how it took time for my daughter to learn how to play. Play is not just something kids do for fun. It’s actual work. It is how their brains put together new experiences and learn to interact with the world. And while I was trying to push my daughter towards more independent play so that I could have a few minutes alone to work on what I needed, there are also many other benefits you can find from independent play.

It fosters imagination. It gives them time to explore a whole new world that has yet to be created.

It aids in problem-solving. When someone else isn’t there helping them solve their problems of blocks not fitting together right or the tower not stacking properly, they start relying on themselves and their own problem-solving skills.

It boosts confidence! Allowing them the opportunity to utilize their own toys and manipulate them in the way they want can create confidence in themselves that otherwise may not be there if there is someone else present playing with them.

Independent play can be a great way to prepare them for school. Working independently is a part of anyone’s education, and learning how to do this through play can prove to be more beneficial in the long run.

It teaches them about alone time. Yes, as a parent you are given a few minutes of alone time to accomplish what you need to, but it’s also teaching your child how to have alone time and use it to recharge or accomplish what they need to.

The next time you feel bad telling your kids to “go play”, you don’t need to! Allowing them independent playtime can be great for many reasons. Keep your eye out over the next few weeks for my post on how you can foster independent play for your own kids that may not do well with playing on their own.