Where We Draw the Line With Extracurriculars

My oldest is 5 years old and we are already deep in the trenches of managing extracurriculars. It’s mind-boggling that we would even be at this phase of life already when she’s only in kindergarten. Yet she comes home roughly every six weeks with a new flyer from our Recreation District about soccer signs up, t-ball the next time, and basketball the month after. And the discussion between friends always starts at school, “Are you playing soccer this year? I am, I want you to be on my team!”

While I am very impressed with our Rec District and happy they are providing these opportunities for our community, I’m also an overwhelmed parent that can’t keep up with practices and games and everything else that comes with each sport! So, we don’t

When do we finally call it quits? 

Well, there are a lot of factors to consider. I love Mary’s perspective on this topic. I’d also like to add that we live in a very small community and participating in extracurriculars and spending Saturdays on the soccer fields is a huge community event where we all know one another and have time to socialize. This factor plays in when making a decision! 

But my biggest selling point for this decision-making process is time for free play. Are my kids coming home from school, rushing to change clothes and eat a snack, just to get back in the car and head to soccer practice? Once in a while, that’s fine! One night a week we live this way so we can make it to a tumbling class, and it’s an overall benefit to our whole family. But the rest of the week they come home, have some downtime by themselves or with screens, and then spend the rest of the evening deep in play, sometimes inside, sometimes outside. Sometimes we involve friends and neighbors, sometimes we don’t! 

But play is the real work of childhood, not basketball. Not choir practice. So when all of these extracurricular activities start interfering with playtime, that’s where and when the line is drawn in our family. 

It’s always a tricky road to navigate, though! How do you decide which extracurriculars and how many your child can and will be involved in? 

Other helpful posts:

More Thoughts on a 4-Day School Week

A while back I wrote a post about schools transitioning to a four-day school week. I tried to stay very neutral and simply line out the pros and cons of both 5 and 4-day school weeks. However, at the time I wrote the post, it wasn’t something even on my radar to worry about! It was purely just information I had researched. Our schools were doing the more typical 5-day school weeks. Then we moved to Idaho and everything changed. The school my oldest attends, as well as most schools in the state of Idaho, have transitioned to a 4-day school week. Now that we’ve experienced both, I have more opinionated thoughts and feelings on the pros and cons. 

If you’re looking for me to choose one side or the other- either 4-day school weeks or 5 days, then you’ve come to the wrong place. After experiencing both, I honestly cannot choose between the two. Both of them come with benefits and downsides. 

One concern I have with a four-day school week is the longer school days. Elementary school starts at 7:45 am and doesn’t get out until 3:45 pm. An 8-hour school day is long for those littles! Districts are required to meet a minimum requirement of school hours in a school year, so to make up for those missed hours by not going to school one day of the week, the school days and sometimes the school calendar year become longer and more stretched out to make up for those hours. 

This can be concerning for two big reasons I’ve personally found. First, meals. With school starting early in the morning, breakfast is naturally around 6:45- 7 am for us. My daughter (in kindergarten) then eats lunch at 10:45 am. Technically, the school is not expected to provide any other food besides optional breakfast for kids that need it, and lunch. So if they are not fed again, these kids go from 10:45 am until 3:45 pm without food. Yes, I know, food is a very privileged thing in a perpetual time of food scarcity. However, when little brains are working so hard on learning and growing, they need more. Luckily, most teachers in our school allow an afternoon snack, provided by the parents on an alternating schedule. But what about those schools or classrooms that aren’t providing extra food for those hours between lunch and going home? 

The next concern is for the older grades when it comes to after-school activities. If school is getting out close to 4 pm, then sports and arts and other extracurriculars start their practices after school is out. Our local high school has track practice from 4-6 pm. Once track practice is over, the kids go home and eat, work on homework, and accomplish any other household tasks they may have. Then they need a good night’s rest so they can be up around 6:30 am for school the next day. It makes for such long days when extra activities are considered! This isn’t even bringing in the factor that many high school students have part-time jobs, too!

However, when schools are on a 4-day school week schedule, they have one full day off of school and any extracurriculars can take up the space of that day. This is typically Fridays for most 4-day week schools. That means extra-long practices, tournaments, games, events and more can happen on Fridays when students are out of school, instead of cramming it all in on Friday evening/ Saturday. 

There’s also the bonus that even if students aren’t in additional school activities, there is space and time for family events and trips with an extra long weekend. We’ve enjoyed trips to the zoo and many local state parks because we don’t have to worry about attending school on Fridays. 

And in the same breath, there are also parents that have the burden of worrying about childcare on Fridays because they are still working parents and need a safe space for their kids to go to when they are out of school but the parents are still working. 

There are so many more thoughts and pros and cons I could add to this post, but it’s getting long-winded and I’m not here to bore you. When asked to choose between 4 or 5-day school weeks, I truly could not give you a straight answer. It’s such a double-edged sword! In some ways, I think either is the best and only way to do school! And in other ways, I think both are the wrong answer and make it harder than it’s worth. 

What are your thoughts? What other pros and cons have you seen from a 4 or 5-day school week? What are your kids on, and what would your preference be? 

Thoughts On Kid’s Extracurriculars

Back in February of 2019, I saw Mary’s post about placing her kids in activities and her formula for whether or not they should be in them. Here’s what she came up with, 

“Stress of making activity happen > benefit of activity = CANCEL regret-free!” 

When I read her post, my oldest was not even two years old yet so we were not even thinking about extracurriculars yet. However, I made a mental note about it to remember for the future. 

So far in the last two years, my kids have participated in swim lessons, soccer, dance, tumbling, and a handful of others. Every single time we’ve gone through an activity I have the same thought process, “what is this activity’s worth? Are the stresses of making this activity happen worth it?” 

Soccer? Nope. It was not worth it. But we learned and moved on. 

Swim lessons? Because of the nature of the private swim lessons we did, it was definitely the most commitment, the longest drive, and the most stressful. But having my kids become water safe and able to self-rescue in the water before they were a year old? Worth it. 

Dance? It didn’t interfere with any meal times, it was an easy time of the day to go, and it was close enough for us to walk. But my daughter protested it each week, and that alone made it not worth it. 

Tumbling? Easy time of the day, the location was close, and my daughter loved it and was learning so much. Yes. Worth it. 

Even at our preschool, I try every year to keep it in close proximity to our house and within decent times that are doable for us. 

And I have to say, I love it! I don’t feel like I’m spending all of my free time in my minivan acting as a chauffeur and my kids are spending more time in my backyard and in our playroom with neighbors and friends instead of buckled into their car seats rushing to the next thing. They are getting a great dose of unstructured play because of this handy formula that Mary created. 

And just because the video that Mary shared in her post was so perfect, I wanted to share it again here.