We had Parent-Teacher Conferences for my kids last night, and I was so excited to go. I love hearing updates from teachers, and my kids love to show me where their desk is, their cubby, and take me to see their work that is hanging in the hall. With five kids all at the same school, those nights can get pretty long, but they are worth it.
I enjoy hearing how they are doing academically; it’s fun to see beginning of year test scores compared to present scores— there is almost always improvement. It’s encouraging to see the forward leaps they make as they learn. I also really enjoy hearing how my children can improve. If there is an area (or multiple) that need attention, I like to know so that I can give my full support to my child as well as to their teacher.
Though I do enjoy hearing about the academic progress that is being made, I love it even more when I get a report from a teacher telling me that my child is helpful, kind, friendly, and respectful to everyone, adults and kids alike. Knowing that my child is being a good human means so much to me. We try so hard at home to teach our children to be kind, to include, and to respect others. We do our best to teach them good manners and what a good friend looks like. When I send them to school each morning, I just hope that what they have been taught sticks with them, and it is so reassuring to hear that they indeed did hear us and remembered!
I think so often parents worry about their children getting good grades, especially in upper grades. There seems to be so much pressure on kids today to be the best in their class, get the highest score on the test, or that any grade below a B is unacceptable. Obviously, parents aren’t out there wanting their kids to fail, but I think there could be more flexibility when it comes to expectations. That’s not to say for parents to just let go and stop encouraging their kids, because there is definitely value in pushing your kids to do and be their best. But when it becomes all about grades, I think we’ve missed the mark.
I was always a good student, and my grades were usually pretty good. But I can tell you that not a single person in my adult life has cared what grade I got in my high school math class. No one has asked if I scored 100% on the AP US History test I took as a junior. It simply doesn’t matter anymore. But what does matter is that I am a kind person, who includes others, is friendly, and listens to people.
When it comes down to it, the way we treat others says a whole lot more about who we are as people than the grades we pulled in school. Sure, good grades can indicate that someone is a hard, determined worker, and good grades can get you into a college where you can earn a degree and work toward making a career for yourself. Having a job allows you to have money to pay your bills and put food on the table. But it’s important to remember that being kind is good, too.
So as your children (and your students) grow and learn, be sure to teach them more than just academics; teach them to be kind, patient, respectful, and inclusive. Because one day, it’s the way they are that will truly take them places in this life.