Category: Student Confidence

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Bullying: An Epidemic

One of the jobs of a teacher is to make their classroom a safe place for all students— a place where kids can come and feel like they belong, matter, and are heard. Most teachers I know of do a pretty good job at that, or at least trying their best to do so. Unfortunately, there are some kids who are pretty good at taking a safe place and making it feel not so safe by being a bully. And, equally as unfortunate, these kids are usually sneaky in their ways, often getting away with their behaviors until a situation becomes more serious. 

Bullying isn’t a new problem— it’s an issue that has been present in schools as long as schools have been around, and I don’t see it going anywhere anytime soon. As teachers, we have the responsibility to keep our eyes and ears open and to intervene any time we become aware of a bullying situation. We cannot turn a blind eye to this problem. 

So what can we do? To start, we can teach kindness and acceptance in our homes to our own children as well as to our students in our classrooms. We can encourage students to talk to a trusted adult when they see or hear bullying behaviors or when they are the victim of those behaviors. We can make our selves more aware of what is going on around us. Getting to know our students helps in several ways— it creates a relationship of trust and also can help us notice if something seems “off” or different. We need to be active listeners, doers, and watchers within the walls of our classrooms and our schools. 

If we do become aware of a problem, we can involve administration if needed. Beyond discipline, most admins will be willing to come into your classroom and talk about bullying and the problems it can cause— and the consequences that may result. 

Last school year, my second grader came home one day and told us that a classmate had been mean to him verbally and physically. We talked through the situation and discussed how he can handle it if it happened again. Unfortunately, it did continue happening. My son said he had told the recess aid whenever it would happen, but nothing changed. At this point, I emailed his teacher and explained what had been happening. I was so impressed with how she handled it; it was immediate and firm. She set up new class guidelines and made sure her students knew that she would not tolerate any kind of mean behavior in her classroom. She let them know that if she heard or saw anything happening, there would be immediate consequences and that the principal would become involved. She instituted a kindness challenge where students were given a grid of kind things to do for others. Once they had completed all the tasks on the grid, they could bring their paper back for a prize. Not only did she address the issue of bullying, she went a step further and encouraged all her students to be kinder and more patient with one another. Thankfully the problems my son was experiencing stopped, and the rest of the school year was just fine.

I know not all bullying situations are resolved as quickly and easily as my son’s was. I know for some students, it goes on for weeks, months, or even years, slowly eating away at the victim’s mental health and self esteem. It takes a toll. 

Cyber bullying is becoming more prevalent as technology continues to evolve. Kids (and sadly, even adults) can hide behind a screen and target individuals. Information spreads quickly via the internet, and can be done without the victim ever knowing who the bully is. This kind of bullying is dangerous and scary. It is also cowardly, as the bully doesn’t even have to come face to face with their targets. They can hide in the comfort of their own homes while slowly destroying someone else’s life. 

I don’t know that there are any easy or sure fire solutions to this epidemic happening in our schools. But I do know that we as teachers can make a difference by being alert, attentive, and aware of what is happening around us. We can be proactive by teaching and encouraging kindness. We can be assertive when we notice something happening and get those involved the help they need. While we may not be able to rid the world of bullying, we can certainly start a change within our own classrooms.

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The Spartans of Education

This past weekend, my husband and our two oldest boys ran a Spartan race— a grueling race that includes running along dirt trails for a specific distance all while conquering obstacles along the way. The kids’ races ranged from 1-3K with 10 or so obstacles, and adult athletes could choose between a Sprint (5K + 20 obstacles), Super (10K + 25 obstacles), or the Beast (21K + 30 obstacles). The race course was at a ski resort, which meant steep hills and mountainous terrain. It was 90 degrees outside, and we were at a base elevation of 6,391 feet. It was indeed a test of mental and physical strength and stamina, and was certainly not for the feint of heart. It was truly inspiring to watch the athletes compete and overcome the challenges with which they were faced. 

Some of the obstacles athletes were asked to complete were less intense (like crawling through a tube or crawling under a tunnel), while others were much more intense (such as lifting and carrying a 60 pound ball from one end of the obstacle area to the other and back again, the rope climb, or the inverted wall climb). The obstacles by themselves would be challenging, but not impossible; add in the above mentioned factors of temperature, terrain, elevation, and distance to run, and the obstacles suddenly become much more daunting.

As I’ve reflected on the race over the past couple of days, I couldn’t help but think about how the whole race experience relates to education. At the beginning of each school year, we are given a new set of students, each with their own abilities, talents, likes/dislikes, and interests. They each have their own race to run alongside their classmates, and they all have obstacles to overcome. 

For some students, math may be their rope climb, where they find themselves finally making progress just to start slipping back down as a new concept is introduced. For others, science may be their inverted wall, difficult to gain traction on and overcome, while it may be a tunnel crawl for others, fairly easy to get through. 

It was interesting to watch athletes help each other overcome obstacles. I watched as one friend easily made it over a set of 6 foot hurdles, only to turn around and go back to help her friend by offering a boost to get her started. I watched complete strangers finish the rope climb, then turn to offer strategies and advice to athletes before they took their turn on the rope. I watched as my husband helped another athlete get his footing during a sand bag pull. I was grateful for the four people, all strangers, who stopped and immediately helped my husband when his calves cramped up and he couldn’t walk. As my husband finished the race, two of those people who helped him were waiting for him at the finish line because they “just wanted to see him finish.” It became clear that the people offering help to others weren’t in the race to be the fastest or the strongest. They were there to prove to themselves that they could do it, and to help others do the same. 

As our students learn and grow throughout the year, they are met with many challenges, and some may be in it for themselves, but most are not. Most kids are willing to help their classmates, be a friend, and cheer each other on. It’s remarkable to see the difference it can make when struggling students are boosted by their peers. There is a new light in their eyes when they see that other people believe in them and want them to succeed. 

So while they may be running in the same race, not all students will face the challenges with the same ability or confidence. As teachers, we get the unique opportunity to help facilitate the kind of relationships within our classrooms that will encourage, build, uplift, and carry. We also get the chance to do those things ourselves for our students. We get a front row seat to see our students progress, learn, grow, and thrive. We get to be their cheerleaders, give them boosts, and provide them with tips and advice on how to conquer their challenges. And that, my friends, is one of the coolest parts of being a teacher.

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Summer How-To List

Summer time tends to provide kids with ample amounts of free time, which can be a blessing and a curse. Some kids do really well with extra time, and are very creative in how they fill their extra hours. Others, however, struggle with imagining up ways to spend their days, which often leads to lots of, “Mom! I’m bored!” 

Many families create a summer bucket list in hopes of finding ways to reduce boredom over the summer months. It’s a great idea, and provides an easy answer to, “What should we do today?” I’m a big proponent of having the kids help create the list. Obviously, adults should over see the list making to ensure that the desired activities are within the financial, time, and logistical limits the family has. 

In addition to a summer bucket list, I’ve also heard of many families instituting a summer “how-to” list. Each family member comes up with a list of a few things they want to learn how to do over the summer break. Lists could include important life skills such as how to do laundry, cook a meal, tie shoes, mow the lawn, place and pick up a food order, and so on. Other skills might include new hobbies, such as learning to sew a pillow, draw, crochet, or code. Again, adults should guide list making to help kids set realistic goals and to ensure that goals are feasible. 

The idea of a “how-to” list is appealing to many, since it provides kids with something to do, but also gives them an opportunity to learn something and keep their minds active. It’s a win-win! 

To help you get started on your own summer “how-to” list, I’ve created a free download you can print off and use with your kids. Even if you don’t have kids, you can use this for yourself– there isn’t an age limit for learning new things!

** As always, this download is free, and should only be used for individual and classroom use. Please do not resell or claim as your own. **

My Summer How-To ListDownload
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Creating A Unified Classroom

My third period class on A-days was something special. We started off the year a little disorganized and unsure, but by the end of the first term, we had settled into a rhythm and were in a groove. The kids all got along well, supported each other, cared about their learning, and genuinely cared about each other. It was magical. It was a stark contrast to my fourth period on B-days, who quickly became the class that I had to mentally prep myself for the most— the kids didn’t get along very well, didn’t care if their classmates succeeded, and just plain didn’t care about much. 

As a teacher, I did my best to create a classroom community where all of my students felt safe, included, and supported. I taught the same material, assigned the same assignments, and was consistent in my management. The biggest difference between the two classes? The kids. The students in these two classes came to school each day with different attitudes toward learning. One class came ready to learn, ready to be engaged, and ready to help each other. The other rolled into class, counting down the minutes until the bell rang and they were done. It was every man for himself. 

It’s probably not a surprise that the overall success and grades of the first class was higher than that of the second. It’s amazing what can happen when students care about each other and encourage each other, especially in junior high. When an already vulnerable teen feels safe and supported by their peers, they are more willing to take risks and ask for help when they need it. They are more willing to learn from each other and share their knowledge with others. Confidence increases as students work together to learn. 

The question here, then, is how do we as teachers encourage a tight-knit classroom community? Often times, we can do all that we can, and if the kids just aren’t interested, we can only do so much. But sometimes, students can be encouraged and gently nudged into supporting each other. When we provide opportunities for students to work together and cheer each other on, we are working toward that community feeling. When we give kids the chance to feel like they matter and are safe, the walls start to come down, and they begin to build trust in their peers. This usually isn’t an automatic or natural thing for kids to do, but it is worth working toward. 

We can encourage a classroom community by modeling what that looks like. Share and celebrate successes. Demonstrate what it means to show up and support someone in a time of need. Teach your students to invest in each other by asking questions about their lives and interests. Model what it looks like to genuinely listen. Show how students can have a meaningful conversation where they both hear and are heard. Provide them with opportunities to engage with one another and work together. 

It might take some work and practice, but once they get the hang of it, you will see a difference in your students and the way they show up for class and in the way they treat each other. It’ll be worth it, and you won’t regret it!

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In Praise of Teachers

Today was the last day of school for my kids. We attended kindergarten graduation for one of our sons, and while we were there, I popped into my other kids’ classrooms to snap a quick picture of them with their teachers and say one more “thank you” to them. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that teachers don’t get thanked enough, so I didn’t want to end the year without them knowing that what they do matters. 

I’ve thought back on the school year and have remembered so many instances where the influence of a teacher caused a positive change. Most teachers will never know just how deeply they have impacted their students, but the parents do, and the parents remember. The students may not always remember, but their growth is proof of good teachers.

To the teachers out there, doing their best, thank you!

Thank you for sacrificing your personal time to plan, prep, and grade.

Thank you for planning engaging lessons.

Thank you for making each student feel seen and loved.

Thank you for the endless hours you spend doing your job.

Thank you for encouraging your students and cheering them on.

Thank you for celebrating the wins, and comforting during the losses.

Thank you for remembering important things about each student.

Thank you for advocating for your kids— sometimes (sadly) you’re the only one who will.

Thank you for pushing your students to be better, do better, and learn more.

Thank you for protecting your students.

Thank you for creating a safe place for kids to be.

Thank you for taking time to communicate with parents and guardians.

Thank you for welcoming all students, regardless of their background or situation.

Thank you for never giving up.

Thank you for reminding students that they are amazing, capable young people.

Thank you for instilling in them a sense of goodness and kindness.

Thank you for loving and caring.

Thank you for what you do and who you are.

So from one parent who remembers, thank you. Thank you to all the teachers out there who work hard and spend countless hours planning, prepping, teaching, grading, and caring. Your job isn’t easy: it’s exhausting, you’re underpaid, and often times, overlooked. But please know that there are parents who do see you, and who are grateful for your efforts.

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What Do You Want to be When You Grow Up?

How many times did you answer the question, “What do you want to be when your grow up?” as a kid? Can’t count all the times? Neither can I. It’s a common question to ask kids and teens, and it’s often a question that kids don’t know the answer to. There are so many jobs to choose from, and when your knowledge is limited, it’s hard to make a choice. Thank goodness the jobs we might have chosen as ten year olds weren’t set in stone, and we had the chance to change our minds. I mean, I’m pretty sure if they had been set in stone back then, the majority of my fifth grade class would have ended up being marine biologists— because that was a big thing in the 90s!

Kids and teens all seem to know about the community helper type of jobs— police, fireman, nurse, doctor, and teacher. What they might not know, are the subcategories under those jobs as well as so many other kinds of careers out there. Providing kids with knowledge about various career fields will empower them to choose a job that suits them best and fits their interests and skills. 

While kids need this knowledge, we can’t just expect them to know where to go to get it. As teachers, parents, and leaders, we need to provide opportunities for them to learn about all kinds of jobs. So how do we do this?

First, we can make it part of our curriculum when kids are young. If you’re teaching a unit on human body systems, you can include a little bit of information about the different kinds of jobs people can do that deal with body systems. If you’re teaching a unit on recycling and caring for the Earth, invite a sanitation worker to come in and teach about garbage pickup and recycling. For a music unit, invite a musician to come in and talk to the kids. 

Second, as kids get older and start to think more seriously about their careers, it might be a good idea to have a unit on different types of jobs and the kind of education you need to do them. When I was teaching junior high, my school held a school-wide career exploration day. People from the community would volunteer their time to come teach students about their profession. We had a wide variety of careers represented, making it an experience that every student would be able to benefit from. Students had the chance to choose four classes that they wanted to attend. Each rotation was about 20 minutes in length, and presenters used that time to talk about their job, what they do, what kind of education they obtained, and so on. Students were then given a chance to ask questions. With career presentations from bankers, authors, EMS personnel, business owners, animators, IT, and beyond, it was always a huge success.

Third, when appropriate, and at the right age, students can participate in a job shadowing experience. This is helpful because it allows them to see first hand the daily tasks and responsibilities of the job in which they are interested. This kind of hands on experience will provide more insight than simply reading an article about a job.

Another thing we can do to help students know more about potential careers is to have them take a career aptitude test. Typically, these are more beneficial once a student is a little older and has more of a grasp on their interests. I spoke with a vocational counselor, and he recommended My Next Move, which I tried. I also tried Career Explorer. Both assessments asked similar questions, though Career Explorer seemed to go a bit more in depth. Both gave career suggestions at the end of the survey, with links to click on to learn more about that career. Not surprisingly, my results on both tests suggested that I become a teacher or a healthcare worker, both of which I have done in the past, and both of which I have very much enjoyed. 

When we provide kids with options and resources to explore potential careers, they are able to make more informed decisions. Do they have to have it all figured out right now? No. But it never hurts to have a little head start!

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Teens Really Are Pretty Cool

I was mindlessly scrolling social media when I came across a reel that had the caption, “What I won’t forget about being your teacher.” The caption grabbed my attention, and I was partly expecting to hear a story about students who caused such havoc that the teacher would never forget them. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find the opposite. The teacher in the reel recounted two different stories where students stepped up and stepped in. So there I was, sitting at my table eating my lunch, suddenly crying about these kids I’ve never even met! Teaching is like that— you become part of a community of people with shared experiences, and your heart is reminded of the things you also experienced as a teacher. It’s really quite beautiful. 

In the first story shared, the teacher shared of a time when he allowed students to pick their own seats for the last term. As the kids settled into their new seats, he noticed that there was one boy left at a table by himself. He wasn’t sure how he was going to handle this without embarrassing the student or creating a scene. Thankfully, his worry was calmed by another student who saw the need, and quietly went to sit with the lonely student. Together, they spent the last term of chemistry class at that table, just the two of them. Crisis averted, and no one was left alone. 

In the second story, he shared a story about when he was chaperoning a high school dance. He looked down the hall to see a girl, sitting on the floor, completely alone, and looking quite distressed. Again, worried about how to approach this, he contemplated what to do. However, once again, another student saved the day. Another girl, by her own choice, came to the rescue, approached the girl on the floor, and spent the next little while talking with her. 

In addition to being deeply touched by these two stories that he shared, I was reminded that, so often, teenagers get a really bad rap. And while there are some kids who are the reason that bad rap exists, there are a ton others who prove the bad rap to be incorrect. Teenagers really are cool kids, and have so much to give. 

I was reminded of a time during my years teaching when I asked students to pull out a piece of paper and a pencil. Students hurriedly rifled through their backpacks and binders to find what they needed. One student, typically disheveled and unprepared, sat there, looking a bit panicked. Without hesitation, the girl next to him quietly and kindly set a piece of paper and pencil on his desk, turned back around, and sat patiently while she waited for my instructions.

Another time, I asked students to get into small groups to complete an assignment. I watched as they quickly formed their groups, with the groupings being exactly as I had thought they would be. Unfortunately, there were a couple of students left out, clearly feeling out of place and not sure what to do. Thankfully, there was a group of boys who saw a need and acted. They invited the un-grouped kids to join their group, and everyone was included. 

One experience that comes to mind is a personal one. My family moved to a new state as I was entering my junior in high school, and I often found myself feeling very alone. This was amplified when I was somehow put into a U.S. Government class full of seniors, non of whom I knew. I was so grateful for the students who sat near me who took it upon themselves to make sure I was included, seen, and heard. I don’t remember their names, but I do remember their kindnesses toward me. 

Time after time, I saw things like this happening in my classroom. Time after time, I was reminded that teenagers really aren’t all they are made out to be. Sure, sometimes they are a bit aloof and unkind, but that’s because they are teenagers. They are still learning how to be people. But underneath it all, they are kind, thoughtful, and observant. The future is in good hands with this generation of kids!