Category: Parent Support

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Letting Kids Fail

My third grader is given a weekly homework sheet, with one side math practice and the other reading practice. Sometimes the reading assignment is to read a passage and answer some comprehension questions, and sometimes it involves reading as much of a passage as possible in one minute, on four separate occasions, while having an adult follow along and count any errors made. The teacher sends the paper home on Monday, and it is due on Friday. With four days given to finish the assignment, you’d think it wouldn’t be a problem to complete it. 

By Thursday night, after my husband and I have both asked (and offered to sit down with him while he does it) our son what feels like 182 times to get his worksheet done, we are tired of asking and have started to feel like we are nagging him. One week last month, he dragged his feet, as usual, and was in a panic on Thursday night when he still hadn’t finished his assignment. Of course it was a week where he had to read a passage four different times, and we were running out of time. Around 10:00 pm, we finally just told him to go to bed and we could try again in the morning. 

Morning came, and he still had zero interest in finishing his work. Out of time and energy, I told him to put his paper in his backpack and just turn in what he did have done. We talked about who was responsible for the assignment being incomplete, and what he needed to do about it. He admitted it was on him, and that he should have done it when we first asked him to. I sent him out the door and hoped for the best.

The protective mom in me wanted to keep him home until he finished it so that he wouldn’t lose points on the assignment. How could I let my own child fail? He’s only nine, after all. As I battled internally for a few minutes, a little voice inside reminded me that failing is part of life. We all have to learn by failing at some point in our lives. Is it a hard lesson to learn? Absolutely. Is it a necessary lesson to learn? 100%. 

As a mom and former teacher, I know how hard it is hard to watch the kids you love fall short. It’s hard to watch them struggle. When our kids are younger, we are there to swoop in and fix things for them. We keep them in a little bubble of sorts to keep them safe and protected. But as they get older, we can’t continue to solve all their problems and keep them in a bubble. As parents (and teachers), it is our job to set up our children for success in life, and one of those crucial lessons to teach is that failure is inevitable, and that it’s okay to fall short sometimes. We must give them the tools they will need for when they do fail so that they can appropriately adjust and find ways to regroup, rethink, and try again. 

So while I wanted desperately to save my son from not getting full points on his homework assignment, I also wanted desperately to teach my son that our actions and choices very often determine our success, and that failure is part of life. I wanted him to know that it’s not the end of the world to mess up on one assignment, and that he could try again next week, learning from his previous experience. I wanted him to know that how we handle failure is important and how we choose to do better the next time is what matters the most. 

As parents and teachers, we’re faced with some pretty tough internal battles. We naturally want to protect the kids we love, but also need to remember that sometimes too much protection and sheltering ultimately doesn’t help, but hinders. We must find a balance between the two and hope we are giving our children and students what they’ll need to succeed in school and in life.

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Internet Safety: Why it Matters

When I was in high school, the internet was just starting to really gain traction and become useful. Honestly, I still used my super awesome Encyclopedia Brittanica CD-Rom or a physical book for my research projects. I had to sit an listen to the obnoxious dial up noise while I waited for my computer to connect to AOL, and was very limited in my time online— because when your phone line and internet line are the same, you had to hurry so people could get through if they needed to call someone at your house. 

The internet was so new that we didn’t really understand the dangers that could be lurking with one single click. We were blissfully ignorant to those kinds of things. Public chat rooms were my favorite place to go online. I would spend as much time as possible chatting away with complete strangers, often sharing details about my physical appearance, location, age, grade in school, and so on. Yikes! 2025 me is appalled that 1997 me was so naive and open with people I didn’t even know. No one is at fault here; my parents and I didn’t know any better back then, but I can’t help but think about how unsafe that was. Knowing what I know now, I will make sure my kids know how to be cautious when online. 

Teaching internet safety begins at home. Today’s kids are exposed to the internet long before they even step foot into a school setting. Gone are the days where a computer had to be stationary; kids today have access to the internet via so many methods– iPads, phones, laptops, Chromebooks, tablets, and so on. Parents have a responsibility to teach their children what is and is not okay when it comes to online habits. Thankfully today, parents can set filters on their computers and phones. While these filters are not fool-proof, they do help. Online content can be sneaky and can find a way around filters— and so can kids who are determined to bypass them. 

Kids need to know what kinds of words to use in their searches. They need to know what kinds of websites and images are safe to explore. They need to know how to get out of an inappropriate website if they somehow stumble upon one. It’s imperative that kids today understand the dangers of interacting with strangers, and that they know to never give out personal information online. 

So how do parents and teachers go about teaching these kinds of skills? We model them! We allow our kids to be on the internet while we sit next to them, coaching them on what search terms to use, what websites are okay to go to, and so on. We let them sit by us as we are online, so they can see how we safely use the internet. 

Another way to teach internet safety is to talk about it regularly. We talk about the red flags, the kinds of words that will generate inappropriate search results, the kinds of things strangers might say if they are grooming a child, and so forth. Having open conversations about things that can potentially be a danger will help kids and teens to be more aware as they are online, and it will also help your kids to feel more comfortable coming to you on the chance that something does go wrong or does pop up. 

We ought to be careful to do our best to not make the internet sound like a super scary and terrible thing. Rather, we teach that it is a useful tool and amazing place that has potential dangers, and what we can do to protect ourselves if/when faced with them. 

In school, teachers and counselors can show videos or slide shows illustrating things kids might come in contact with. Librarians can help students understand what a reliable website might look like and how to detect false information. Students can be aware of their surroundings and can help to alert teachers if they see something amiss with their own computer or a classmate’s. 

The internet isn’t going away, and people with wrong intent will only get smarter and sneakier. Filters and “safe” phones can only stop so much. This means that we as parents and educators need to be sure that we are giving today’s youth the tools they will need to safely navigate a digital world. Together, we can arm kids with the power to conquer the malicious workings of those that aim to harm today’s kids. Together, we can be a force for good.

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Winter Break Blues

The holidays are over, the excitement has died down, and you still have several days left of winter break. Routines are out of whack, kids are riding on a post-holiday sugar rush, the days are all blending together, and parents are completely and utterly exhausted. Maybe that’s just happening at my house? Just my kids? Hmmm. Well, at any rate, I’m sure there are at least a couple of you out there that understand the winter break blues. 

When the days are cold, there’s not any snow to play in, but the backyard is muddy from the rain storm a few days ago, what do you even do with your kids? Here’s a few ideas to try that will hopefully let you regain some of your sanity and provide your kids with something fun to do. Oh, and as a bonus, your kids just might learn something while they play, too!

Color Scavenger Hunt

This activity is great for kids of any age, and can be done while you sit and catch up on laundry, clean the bathroom, cook dinner, or even sit and read a book. Pick a color, then send your kids on a mission to find something in the house that is that color and bring it to show you. The catch? They can’t make a mess, can’t bring you something that is breakable, and must put the object away where it belongs before moving on to the next color. This game is simple, requires no set up, and is easy for all ages. A win-win all around!

Picture Hide and Seek

This does take a little bit of prep work, but I promise it’s worth it and your kids will love it. Print off or draw several small pictures and cut them out individually. Next, create a paper that has the same pictures, or, if your kids can read, write the names of the objects you have printed or drawn. Then, hide the individual pictures around the house. Depending on the ages and abilities of your kids, you can choose how difficult it will be to find the pictures. Give each of your children a copy of the paper that has all of the pictures on it and send them on their way! To make it more challenging, give them a time limit. To make it easier, have them work in teams to find the pictures. There are many ways you can adapt this activity to fit the needs and ages of your children. You can do all themed pictures— sea animals, foods, sports, cartoon characters, etc. Another way to do this activity is to put your older children in charge of drawing and hiding the pictures for their younger siblings. So many fun ways to play!

Click the button below to download and print a copy of the Hide and Seek I created. Print one page to cut up and hide, and one copy for each child that will be participating. If you want to repeat this activity another day, I suggest putting your children’s copies in a sheet protector so that they can be reused. (Please only print and use for personal or classroom use.)

Picture Hide and SeekDownload

Letter Scavenger Hunt

This is similar to the color scavenger hunt, but instead of assigning your kids a color to go find, have them find an object that begins with a letter of your choice. The same rules apply— no messes, no finding something breakable, and everything must be put away before moving on. This is a great activity for older preschoolers or younger elementary aged kids who are learning beginning sounds and letters.

Rhyming Game

Another twist on the color or letter scavenger hunt, this game requires your kids to find something that rhymes with a word that they are given. Say you give them the word “cat”. They must then search the house to try find an object that rhymes with that word— perhaps a hat, a bat, or a mat. This variation is great for younger elementary kids and up who are able to rhyme.

Fortunately, Unfortunately

I wish I could take credit for this game, but I can’t. I saw this idea on Instagram @playfulheartparenting. This is another game that requires absolutely no prep work and can be done while you do just about anything. You start the game by saying, “Unfortunately, …” and fill in the blank with some sort of ridiculously silly situation. Your child then counters back with, “Fortunately, …” and fills in the blank with another silly situation that “fixes” the situation you presented them with. You continue this, countering back and forth, building a silly story together. This gets kids thinking outside the box and gets them to think about how to respond to a funny situation. It might look something like this:

“Unfortunately, I got a flat tire on my way to the dentist.”

“Fortunately, I was almost there and my dentist used his tooth fixing tools to fix my tire.”

“Unfortunately, he didn’t clean his tools after he fixed the tire, and then used them to fix my tooth.”

“Fortunately, I have a super strong immune system and the dirt and germs didn’t make me sick.”

“Unfortunately, though, the tools were black from fixing my tire, so now my teeth are black.”

And so on. You can continue this game for as long as you wish. You can establish ground rules such as no making fun of other people, no naughty or potty words, and nothing about hurting other people or yourself. It is a game that is totally customizable for your family and your needs. It’s fun and gets everyone laughing. 

Hopefully these ideas give you something to do over the next few days of winter break. If anything, hopefully they will allow you to slow down and enjoy some time with your kids before you send them back to their teachers!

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Overbooked and stressed out: Are we doing our kids a disservice?

Every parent wants to raise confident, well rounded children. We want to give our children the growing up experience they deserve. So many parents want their children to play a sport, learn a musical instrument, be at the top of their class, and be involved in other school sponsored extra curricular activities. And while all of these activities are good things to want your child to be involved in, at what cost does that involvement come? Are we overbooking our children, causing them to be stressed out and too busy? 

There are many benefits to having your child involved in extra curricular activities. Those activities can teach children things that just can’t be taught as well in the classroom— things like how to be a good sport, being part of a team, and how to manage your time effectively. Friendships can form. Kids can learn to be disciplined and what it takes to improve at something. Music lessons can help students in their academic studies and can boost creativity. Martial arts can help kids learn self defense, respect, and determination. Extra curricular activities are also a great way to boost confidence in children and teens. They can see their hard work pay off and they can feel good about their accomplishments. 

But what happens when the extra “stuff” becomes too much? Parents want their children to be involved and to develop their talents, but it often comes at a cost. Kids need time to just be kids. They need time to decompress from their day, and need a chance to slow down. If they are overbooked with extra activities and responsibilities, those chances to slow down become few and far between. Oftentimes, we see academic success and progress suffering at the hand of too many extra curricular activities. Opportunities for non-extracurricular social interaction lessen. Sleep deprivation can come into play when students are so overbooked that they don’t get to their homework until late at night, which then can bleed into poor academic performance because their young brains are not functioning at full capacity when they are already tired and overworked, not to mention the toll that poor sleep habits have on cognitive function during the daytime. 

I am constantly in awe and disbelief at the teenagers in my neighborhood. They are all doing incredible things, and it is remarkable to see their talents bloom. That being said, I know it comes at a great cost. One girl a few houses down from me is a competitive dancer. After school most days of the week, she heads from school to home, just to turn around and head to the dance studio for the next few hours of her night. On Wednesdays, she finishes dance at 6:30, then promptly heads to her church congregation’s youth activity for the week, which usually lasts until 8-8:30. Once that is over, she can head home and do her homework and get some down time before heading to bed just to start it all over again the next morning. I’m exhausted just writing this! 

I don’t know if there are any easy solutions to this dilemma. What I do know is that young minds are precious and should be treated with care. It is essential to find a decent balance between being involved and being too involved. For some families, that may look like cutting out extra curricular activities all together. For others, it might mean cutting back on how many extra activities they are involved in, or maybe cutting back from participating in competitive teams and sticking only to school or city recreation teams. Some families may have magically figured out the perfect routine and balance that works for them (lucky!). 

Whatever the case may be, there is much to be considered when putting children and teens into extra curricular activities. There really isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. But one thing is certain: we need to be sure to look out for the well being of our rising generation, and need to make sure they are healthy and well!

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Trick-or-Treat: How One Utah School is Only Treats!

If you’ve been an elementary school teacher, you know the level of excitement at the school on Halloween is about ten levels higher than it normally is. The costumes, the promise of a class party at the end of the day, Halloween themed activities, and the knowledge that trick or treating is only a few hours away. Teachers can either lean into this form of chaos and embrace it, or dread it entirely. One school in Utah chooses to embrace it by going all out. I’m talking a school wide theme, with every staff member dressed in theme, and the halls decorated to the max. It’s not just Halloween there; it’s HALLOWEEN! But the best part of all of this? The theme is kept a secret until Halloween morning. The teachers work all year (literally… they start planning in January!) to come up with the ideas and plans for the big day. It is an epic surprise for students and parents alike, and it never disappoints! Past themes have included Coco, Star Wars, and Peter Pan. This year’s theme was Toy Story, and they included every single detail you could imagine, from an oversized working claw to broken and “repurposed” toys at Sid’s house to the cow cart at Al’s Toy Barn. It was incredible! 

I had the chance to walk through the school to admire the detail and excitement of it all, so I took a few pictures for you to enjoy! 

As you can see, the amount of work that went into this is astounding. In fact, the staff doesn’t even begin setting up until the night before, which means they usually end up working late into the night— usually until about midnight— to get everything ready to go. It’s a true labor of love. If you were to ask any of the staff why they do this every single year, every teacher or support staff would say that they do it for the kids. And let me tell you, every person who walks through those doors on Halloween can feel that love and excitement, and I am certain that it’s creating lasting memories for students, teachers, and parents alike.

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Are Parent Teacher Conferences Even Worth It?

Last week we attended parent teacher conferences for my four oldest kids. Between the time spent meeting with teachers and the time spent waiting to meet with teachers, we were at the school for almost two hours. It was a long night. I started to wonder if it was even worth our time and the teachers’ time when everything that was said probably could have just been said in an email. But then as I sat and thought for a minute, I remembered that there really is great value in taking the time to go into the school and meet with the teachers face to face. 

In person meetings open the door to establishing a relationship with the teachers. It’s important to build rapport with the people in your children’s lives. And from a teacher’s perspective, it’s really nice to be able to see the parents and families of your students, as it can give you insight into the student’s family life and their situation. 

There is also something to be said for actually being in the classroom where your child learns. My kids love to show me where they sit, fun things they love about their classroom, and where their cubbies and other things are in the room, and I love being able to see all of that. I remember nights when even my “too cool” junior high students would be so excited to show their parents where they sat in my room. Students, parents, and teachers alike can enjoy being in the classroom together.

While face to face meetings and being in the classroom are both solid reasons to spend time at parent teacher conferences, I think the most important reason is for students to hear the good things that are being celebrated. As a teacher, celebrating and praising students was one of my favorite things to do. Everyone loves to hear they are doing a good job. I loved getting to tell parents about the amazing things their child was doing, especially if the student was right there with us. Nothing can replace the pride and joy that would come across the student’s face as they heard good things being said about them. As a parent, it’s such a sweet moment seeing my child’s face light up when their teacher praises them. 

So while parent teacher conference nights are long nights, the time is worth it. In order for there to be a positive relationship between parents and teachers, it’s crucial to have good communication, and conferences are such a good way to accomplish this. By taking time out of your busy life to meet with teachers, it shows your child (and their teacher) that you are invested in their education and progress. Is it possible to be invested without attending conferences? Absolutely. But conferences provide a unique opportunity for students, parents, and teachers to all come together to celebrate (and correct if necessary) the things that are happening in the classroom.