Overbooked and stressed out: Are we doing our kids a disservice?

Every parent wants to raise confident, well rounded children. We want to give our children the growing up experience they deserve. So many parents want their children to play a sport, learn a musical instrument, be at the top of their class, and be involved in other school sponsored extra curricular activities. And while all of these activities are good things to want your child to be involved in, at what cost does that involvement come? Are we overbooking our children, causing them to be stressed out and too busy? 

There are many benefits to having your child involved in extra curricular activities. Those activities can teach children things that just can’t be taught as well in the classroom— things like how to be a good sport, being part of a team, and how to manage your time effectively. Friendships can form. Kids can learn to be disciplined and what it takes to improve at something. Music lessons can help students in their academic studies and can boost creativity. Martial arts can help kids learn self defense, respect, and determination. Extra curricular activities are also a great way to boost confidence in children and teens. They can see their hard work pay off and they can feel good about their accomplishments. 

But what happens when the extra “stuff” becomes too much? Parents want their children to be involved and to develop their talents, but it often comes at a cost. Kids need time to just be kids. They need time to decompress from their day, and need a chance to slow down. If they are overbooked with extra activities and responsibilities, those chances to slow down become few and far between. Oftentimes, we see academic success and progress suffering at the hand of too many extra curricular activities. Opportunities for non-extracurricular social interaction lessen. Sleep deprivation can come into play when students are so overbooked that they don’t get to their homework until late at night, which then can bleed into poor academic performance because their young brains are not functioning at full capacity when they are already tired and overworked, not to mention the toll that poor sleep habits have on cognitive function during the daytime. 

I am constantly in awe and disbelief at the teenagers in my neighborhood. They are all doing incredible things, and it is remarkable to see their talents bloom. That being said, I know it comes at a great cost. One girl a few houses down from me is a competitive dancer. After school most days of the week, she heads from school to home, just to turn around and head to the dance studio for the next few hours of her night. On Wednesdays, she finishes dance at 6:30, then promptly heads to her church congregation’s youth activity for the week, which usually lasts until 8-8:30. Once that is over, she can head home and do her homework and get some down time before heading to bed just to start it all over again the next morning. I’m exhausted just writing this! 

I don’t know if there are any easy solutions to this dilemma. What I do know is that young minds are precious and should be treated with care. It is essential to find a decent balance between being involved and being too involved. For some families, that may look like cutting out extra curricular activities all together. For others, it might mean cutting back on how many extra activities they are involved in, or maybe cutting back from participating in competitive teams and sticking only to school or city recreation teams. Some families may have magically figured out the perfect routine and balance that works for them (lucky!). 

Whatever the case may be, there is much to be considered when putting children and teens into extra curricular activities. There really isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. But one thing is certain: we need to be sure to look out for the well being of our rising generation, and need to make sure they are healthy and well!

Trick-or-Treat: How One Utah School is Only Treats!

If you’ve been an elementary school teacher, you know the level of excitement at the school on Halloween is about ten levels higher than it normally is. The costumes, the promise of a class party at the end of the day, Halloween themed activities, and the knowledge that trick or treating is only a few hours away. Teachers can either lean into this form of chaos and embrace it, or dread it entirely. One school in Utah chooses to embrace it by going all out. I’m talking a school wide theme, with every staff member dressed in theme, and the halls decorated to the max. It’s not just Halloween there; it’s HALLOWEEN! But the best part of all of this? The theme is kept a secret until Halloween morning. The teachers work all year (literally… they start planning in January!) to come up with the ideas and plans for the big day. It is an epic surprise for students and parents alike, and it never disappoints! Past themes have included Coco, Star Wars, and Peter Pan. This year’s theme was Toy Story, and they included every single detail you could imagine, from an oversized working claw to broken and “repurposed” toys at Sid’s house to the cow cart at Al’s Toy Barn. It was incredible! 

I had the chance to walk through the school to admire the detail and excitement of it all, so I took a few pictures for you to enjoy! 

As you can see, the amount of work that went into this is astounding. In fact, the staff doesn’t even begin setting up until the night before, which means they usually end up working late into the night— usually until about midnight— to get everything ready to go. It’s a true labor of love. If you were to ask any of the staff why they do this every single year, every teacher or support staff would say that they do it for the kids. And let me tell you, every person who walks through those doors on Halloween can feel that love and excitement, and I am certain that it’s creating lasting memories for students, teachers, and parents alike.

Are Parent Teacher Conferences Even Worth It?

Last week we attended parent teacher conferences for my four oldest kids. Between the time spent meeting with teachers and the time spent waiting to meet with teachers, we were at the school for almost two hours. It was a long night. I started to wonder if it was even worth our time and the teachers’ time when everything that was said probably could have just been said in an email. But then as I sat and thought for a minute, I remembered that there really is great value in taking the time to go into the school and meet with the teachers face to face. 

In person meetings open the door to establishing a relationship with the teachers. It’s important to build rapport with the people in your children’s lives. And from a teacher’s perspective, it’s really nice to be able to see the parents and families of your students, as it can give you insight into the student’s family life and their situation. 

There is also something to be said for actually being in the classroom where your child learns. My kids love to show me where they sit, fun things they love about their classroom, and where their cubbies and other things are in the room, and I love being able to see all of that. I remember nights when even my “too cool” junior high students would be so excited to show their parents where they sat in my room. Students, parents, and teachers alike can enjoy being in the classroom together.

While face to face meetings and being in the classroom are both solid reasons to spend time at parent teacher conferences, I think the most important reason is for students to hear the good things that are being celebrated. As a teacher, celebrating and praising students was one of my favorite things to do. Everyone loves to hear they are doing a good job. I loved getting to tell parents about the amazing things their child was doing, especially if the student was right there with us. Nothing can replace the pride and joy that would come across the student’s face as they heard good things being said about them. As a parent, it’s such a sweet moment seeing my child’s face light up when their teacher praises them. 

So while parent teacher conference nights are long nights, the time is worth it. In order for there to be a positive relationship between parents and teachers, it’s crucial to have good communication, and conferences are such a good way to accomplish this. By taking time out of your busy life to meet with teachers, it shows your child (and their teacher) that you are invested in their education and progress. Is it possible to be invested without attending conferences? Absolutely. But conferences provide a unique opportunity for students, parents, and teachers to all come together to celebrate (and correct if necessary) the things that are happening in the classroom.