Category: Learning Through Reflecting

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Making Friends Can Be Tricky

Think back to your childhood and the friends you had. Maybe you’re still friends with those same people. Perhaps you just check in on them occasionally via social media, or maybe you’ve lost contact completely. Regardless of your friendship status with them now, one thing is certain— those early friendships made a lasting impression on you and helped shaped you into the person you are today. Childhood friendships helped you to understand what friendship means and what it looks like. They taught you what it means to be a good friend, and sometimes, unfortunately, what it means to be a not-so-good friend. 

Childhood is such a crucial time for molding and shaping young minds. Learning how to be a friend is a skill that is taught at an early age. As this new school year begins, it’s a good time to remind kids what good friendships look like, and to encourage them to make new friends too. Picture books are such an excellent teaching tool, so I headed to my library and found a few books that teach really good lessons on friendship.

In no particular order, these were my favorites that I found:

Friends Stick Together by Hannah E. Harrison

Rupert is a rhino who is quite proper and reserved. He doesn’t enjoy attention, loud things, or annoying friends. Levi is a tick bird who is the complete opposite of Rupert— he is loud, annoying, and likes lame jokes. Levi won’t leave Rupert alone and makes a scene everywhere they go. Rupert tries everything he can think of to get Levi to go away, but nothing works until he finally just tells him he wants to be alone. Levi does go away, but soon, Rupert starts to notice that life isn’t quite the same without his friend. After he realizes he misses Levi, Rupert apologizes and is happy to have Levi back.

This story beautifully illustrates that two different personalities can still be friends. It also touches a little bit on symbiosis— an excellent little tie into science!

When A Friend Needs A Friend by Roozeboos

Aya and Oskar are friends. Oskar can build almost anything, and is quite good at it. Together, they create stories about the things he builds, and love to visit a construction site where all the workers know them. Oskar can get very loud when he gets very excited, but also can get very quiet when he is sad. Sometimes he just wants to be left alone for a long period of time. At first, Aya didn’t know why and thought she had done something wrong or had hurt his feelings somehow. After visiting the construction site by herself, she learns that sometimes Oskar just has big emotions and needs some time to process them. She patiently waits for Oskar to be ready to play again, and remains his friend through it all.

I loved that this book teaches kids that it’s okay to feel what you feel, and that it’s ok to need your space. I also really liked that it showed that friendships can still remain strong, even when one person needs a little bit of a break. Having friends who are there for you through the good and the bad is so important.

Best Friends in the Universe by Hector and Louie Written by Stephanie Watson and Illustrated by Le Uyen Pham

Hector and Louie are the very best friends. They like to tell jokes, dance, and make up new foods together. They tell each other secrets and have all kinds of fun together. One day, Hector accidentally slips and tells Louie’s biggest secret. This begins a fight between the two of them. They stop playing together, and soon notice that their lives just aren’t the same without each other. Soon they have made up and are back to their regular silly antics.

Friendships aren’t always easy, and disagreements and disappointments can happen. This book did a great job of showing that, and also showing how people can apologize and still be friends. The illustrations in this book are darling and make it even more fun.

Buddy’s New Buddy Written by Christina Geist and Illustrated by Tim Bowers

Buddy is so sad when his best friend moves away. He begins a new school year without any friends, and is feeling quite sad about it. His big sister teaches him how to make new friends. Soon a new student moves into his class, and he starts to notice that they have lots of things in common. The become friends quickly and have all kinds of fun together.

As someone who moved often during my childhood, I appreciated this book. Making friends can be tricky, especially when you’re new or when someone you love moves away. This book shows kids to keep trying and to not give up when trying to make a new friend. Sometimes you just have to be patient, but there is always a friend out there for everyone.

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As the new school year gets going, take a few minutes to encourage your students to be a good friend and to be friends with the kids who don’t have friends. They’ll never know just how much of an impact they might have on someone!

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Dear Teacher: An Introductory Assignment

My last post was full of ice breaker and getting to know you ideas that involved the entire class. Today I wanted to share another idea for getting to know your students, but this one is done individually, and as a homework assignment.

Because I was an English teacher, this assignment worked particularly well for my class, but it can work just as well for any other content area. The assignment was called “Dear Teacher” and was a chance for students to write a letter to me. I gave them suggestions about what they could tell me, but also left it open for them to choose the content of their letter. 

Some of the suggested topics included:

  • Favorite food
  • Favorite subject
  • Favorite music, movie, book, actor/actress, show
  • Family— how many siblings, things they like to do, etc.
  • Friends— who their friends are, what they like to do together, etc.
  • Favorite vacations they’ve been on
  • Things they did over the summer
  • What they’re looking forward to about this new school year
  • Goals they may have
  • Their feelings about reading & writing (or whatever your content area may be)
  • Anything else they felt like telling me

I also required the assignment to be hand written (this gave me a glimpse into their grammar and spelling skills since they weren’t using a computer with spell/grammar check), and required the length to be about 1- 1.5 pages long. I wanted it long enough for them to tell me about themselves, but not so long that I was reading these letters for the rest of my days!

This assignment was always so fun to get back from students. I loved learning about them! Beyond the “getting to know you” objective of the assignment, these letters also gave me insight into their writing style, grammar/spelling skills, handwriting, and personalities. Another thing I really liked about this assignment was that, because I had assured them I wasn’t going to be sharing their letters with other students, it allowed students to be completely honest and open. I had students open up and tell me about difficulties at home, friend struggles, learning struggles, and so on. It let them know right off the bat that I was a safe person who had their best interests in mind. 

The “Dear Teacher” letter was always just a participation grade, which was a great way to start off the year. It was a low-stakes, no pressure assignment to ease them into graded writing that would come later. 

So while this assignment was really quite simple, it accomplished much more than surface level formalities. 

What kind of assignments do you give your students to start the year?

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Out With the Old, In With the New!

As we near August, many teachers around the country are holding on to every last second of summer break that is left. They’re soaking in a couple of extra pool days, intentionally not setting their alarms, and are enjoying the freedom of making mid-morning appointments or lunch dates with friends. They’ve got the date of their first contract day in the back of their mind, and are subconsciously aware that it’s coming up quickly. Some may be looking forward to their first day back with excitement, some with nervousness, and others with a mixture of the two. Others, however, may be dreading the day, not quite ready to trade their freedom for cell phone policing and grading. Depending on the year, I’ve experienced both feelings— both the agony and the ecstasy. 

Teachers and other school staff aren’t the only ones in this boat; Students are also feeling the end of summer. They are squeezing in last minute family trips, summer camps, late nights, and late mornings. They are enjoying the endless flow of snacks and popsicles and are living their best lives next to the pool. For most kids, summer is bliss, careless and free. As summer starts to come to an end, they are filled with anxiousness as they wait for class schedules and teacher assignments to be posted. They’re hoping that their best friend is in their class, and that they get the “cool” teacher that everyone wants. It’s a double-edged sword, because they know that along with this excitement of a new year comes the idea of a more structured schedule, homework, and less freedom. Some kids are anxiously awaiting the first day of school because school is their safe place— a place of comfort, happiness, stability, and lack of hunger. For some, summer is the worst few months of the year, and is a time of uncertainty and fear. Other kids may feel anxiousness because school is hard for them and they just don’t want to have that frustration again.

Parents are also stuck in this dichotomous state of anticipation and dread. For many working parents, summer becomes a time of high stress, as they have to find child care, arrange schedules, and manage the guilt that can come from being a working parent. For stay-at-home parents, summer time can mean chaos. Schedules are thrown off, food seems to be flying off the pantry shelves (how are they STILL hungry??), and there is a constant chorus of noise coming from all corners of the house. The house is never clean, and they find themselves saying, “Please shut the door!” approximately 1,352 times a day. Parents are usually exhausted by this point in the summer, and are excited to have more structured days and to have the house stay clean for more than the eight hours the kids are asleep. On the other side of the spectrum, parents are also finding themselves breathing in the last days of summer, watching their kids enjoy childhood. They are feeling nostalgic, and are hoping they’ve created summer memories that will last a lifetime. They are rushing to create last minute moments of happiness as they savor these fleeting moments with their children. 

I find it interesting how something like the start of school can stir so many feelings in people. I guess that’s how it is with change. And while I understand why there is such a wide range of emotions surrounding school, I also hope people know what a privilege it is to be able to attend school and learn. The freedom to be able to sit in a classroom is incredible. Teachers work hard to plan and carry out lessons that are meaningful and engaging, and are doing their best to make school a safe place for their students. 

So, yes, the end of summer can be sad, and the start of school can feel daunting. But it’s also a time to start the new year with a positive attitude and excitement for what’s to come. It’s a time to cherish the memories you made during the summer while also looking forward to making new memories as the school year starts. So as we prepare to send summer out in style, let’s also welcome the school year with open arms, ready to experience whatever is in store for us!

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Turns Out, Adults Can Learn Cool Things, Too!

I was 29 years old when I started taking piano lessons. I had always wanted to learn how to play the piano, but it was never in the budget when I was little (and we didn’t have a piano). Fast forward 20 years, and I was now a grown adult with a career. The attendance secretary at the school where I was teaching taught lessons from her home, and offered to add me on as a student. I was hesitant— what if I was too “old” to learn? What if I completely messed up and had to keep going to work and face this coworker? I finally got a big dose of courage and took her up on her offer. I had access to a piano for practicing, had the time, and had the money to do it— there really was no reason not to try. 

So there I was, standing at her door with my “Adult Level 1” piano book in hand, heart pounding, mind racing, ready to start a new adventure. It was a little intimidating at first. I did mess up. My “old” brain did take a little longer to pick up the concepts. But you know what? Slowly but surely, I started to get the hang of it. I practiced every day after work. If I messed up, I tried again. I did my best to make the most of this new opportunity. I was proud of the progress I made, and even found myself making my fiancé listen to me on our nightly phone calls. I felt like a little girl, so excited to share my new talents. 

I took lessons for several months before I got married and moved to another state. I didn’t have access to lessons or a piano while we were living away, and then soon after we moved back, we started having kids, so my skills faded, and eventually became a memory. Fast forward eleven years, and I was casually scrolling FaceBook, when I saw a post from a neighbor— they had been given a new piano and were giving away their old one for free! My heart lit up. I immediately commented that we would take it. We rearranged our living room, recruited some neighbors to help us move it, and are now the proud owners of a beautiful piano. My husband can play pretty well, and it has been so nice having piano music fill our house. 

I didn’t touch it for a few weeks. I loved hearing the music, but knew my skills were rusty and would need some serious work. One day when all my kids were out playing with friends and my husband was at work, I pulled out my old piano book and started to remind myself how to play. The music was slow and choppy, but I was playing! I was reading the notes and making music! It was amazing! My fingers and my brain moved in unison as muscle memory took over and it started to come back to me. 

Now, I don’t want you thinking that I was suddenly playing all sorts of complicated music, because I wasn’t. But I was amazed at how my brain pulled out what it knew and started to use it again. It was proof to me that once you learn something, your mind retains it. Sure, it may be tucked way back in the deep corners of your brain, but it’s there, and as you start to tug on the memory or skill, it slowly works it way toward the front. 

If you’re like me and have a skill you learned long ago but have since stopped using, try it again! Tug on that memory and start to spark muscle memory. Dust off the piano, violin, wood working tools, skateboard, paint brushes, or whatever else it may be and give it a go. I bet you’ll be surprised with the way things start to come back to you. And if you have a skill you’ve always wanted to learn, but haven’t had the chance to for whatever reason, do it! If you have the resources, take the leap and try something new! You don’t have to be an expert at it, but trying is so much better than living with the regret of not trying. 

So go ahead, prove to the world that you can teach an old dog new tricks! 

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Celebrating Differences

Have you ever been faced with a situation where your child loudly points out someone’s differences? The way we respond in situations like that can determine and change how our children perceive differences. If we respond with disgust, that is how our children will see differences. If, however, we respond with love, compassion, and kindness, our children will pick up on that and will learn to show empathy and love to those differently abled than them. 

It is so important— even crucial— to teach our children and students to view differences as a beautiful thing rather than something that sets them apart. Teaching inclusion is vital to raising a generation of kids who love and encourage people of all abilities. 

Sometimes it can be difficult to explain differences to kids in a way that makes sense to them. Thankfully, there are some incredible children’s books out there that do a beautiful job of teaching this. Here are a few that I found at my local library that were well written and that I feel do a good job of teaching the importance of inclusion.

Benji, the Bad Day, and Me by Sally J. Pla, Illustrated by Ken Min

Sammy is having the worst day ever. He comes home from school, feeling defeated and upset. But instead of being met with sympathy and kindness, his mother shushes him and tells him he needs to be quiet because his brother, Benji, had bad day and needed quiet. Sammy’s day continues to get worse, and he feels like no one notices him. Benji saves the day when he helps Sammy feel safe and comforted by wrapping him in a blanket, which is Benji’s favorite way to calm down and feel safe. 

Benji has autism, and is easily overwhelmed with loud noises or other sensory input. When Sammy doesn’t think anyone notices him, he is surprised to see that his brother does see him and is able to help him the best way he knows how.

This story is a tender example of how connected brothers can be, and the differences don’t have to separate them.

You Are Enough: A Book About Inclusion by Margaret O’Hair, Illustrated by Sofia Cardoso

Full of darling illustrations, this book celebrates the differences in each child. It shows that all people are enough, regardless of looks, abilities, race, etc. The story is inspired by Sofia Sanchez, a girl with Down syndrome who has embraced her differences and can be seen on TV, in ads, and on other media outlets. 

This books encourages all children to look in the mirror and celebrate what they see, and that they are enough, just as they are! 

When Charley Met Emma by Amy Webb, Illustrated by Merrilee Liddiard

Charley’s mom has always taught him that “Different isn’t weird, sad, bad, or strange. Different is different. And different is ok!” Charley and his mom go to the park and while there, they see a girl in a wheelchair with limb differences. For a moment, Charley forgets that different is okay, and loudly asks why the girl looks so weird. Rather than shaming, his mom uses the moment to remind and teach, encouraging Charley to go talk to the girl. 

He does, and discovers that her name is Emma, and that she likes to do all the same things Charley likes to do. Together, they play and have fun, and easily become friends. 

This book is a great reminder that ability isn’t always determined by what our bodies look like. Kids of all abilities and looks are able to have fun and be kids— because different is ok!

Different: A Great Thing to Be! By Heather Avis, Illustrated by Sarah Mensinga

Macy is a girl who is different than other kids around her. Sometimes she feels hurt by the comments and looks other kids give her. Rather than letting it hold her back, she embraces her differences and celebrates who she is. She finds ways to show other kids that while she is different, she is still a kid who can love, laugh, play, and be a friend.

Oona and the Shark by Kelly DiPucchio, Illustrated by Raissa Figueroa

Oona is a mermaid who likes all the things mermaids usually do. She loves to collect things, build inventions, and isn’t afraid of noise. One day she meets a shark who doesn’t seem to like all the things Oona likes. She is determined to make him like her things, inventions, and noise. With every attempt, she finds that the shark pulls further away. In one last attempt to win him over, she decides to throw a party. When shark doesn’t come, she retreats to the ocean floor to sit in quiet for a minute. There, she sees sea glass and has an idea. Using her brilliant mind, she creates a quiet sea glass sorting machine. When she presents it to shark, she is pleased to find that he likes it very much. She realizes that not everyone is the same, and that differences are okay.

The illustrations in this book are so beautiful, and the story is captivating!

We’re All Wonders by R.J. Palacio

Inspired by the novel Wonder, this children’s book follows Auggie, a child who was born with severe facial differences. Auggie takes readers on a journey of how people react to him, how he feels, and how he copes with the pointing fingers and mean words. The book ends with reminding readers that everyone is a wonder in their own way, and to “look with kindness and you will always find wonder.” 

Including all people, regardless of ability, appearance, or diagnosis is a vital thing for kids to learn. Many children are naturally inclusive. When adults display kindness, inclusion, and empathy, we encourage those around us to do the same. I encourage you to take a minute and help your children understand the importance of treating everyone with dignity and respect.

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What I Wish I Would Have Known

It’s graduation season! It’s a bittersweet milestone, but is definitely one to be celebrated. I remember my graduation day, and remember feeling so anxious but excited. I had my whole life planned out, and I was just sure it was going to go exactly how I wanted it to: go to college with my best friend, find a good guy and get married by 23, graduate as a nurse, have some kids, and so on. Boy was I in for a surprise when my plans didn’t follow that timeline, nor did most of my plans actually happen. I went to a different college than my friend, switched majors from nursing to elementary education, back to nursing, then eventually got my degree in secondary education. I didn’t get married until I was 30, and the kids came soon after that. As I think back and reflect on how the last 23 years of my live have gone, I’m glad my original plans didn’t follow my timeline. I would have missed out on so many things that were crucial to me becoming who I am today. But man, sometimes I wish I could go back and tell my naive 18 year old self a thing or to to give her some advice and encouragement about the future.

I figured other people might feel the same way, and might have something to say to their 18 year old selves. I asked several people what they would tell themselves, if they knew then what they know now. The answers ranged from the silly and light hearted to the serious and profound. So seniors, this one’s for you– a little advice from people who have been there, done that, and want to pass on some words of wisdom!

  • Don’t rush growing up. You will never have it all figured out.
  • Trust your gut.
  • Travel more, work hard, don’t spend more than you earn, save, believe, and invest in yourself.
  • Every life event and breakup led me to my husband and life I have today, and I wouldn’t change that.
  • At 18, I didn’t know it would take me 10 more years to get married. Don’t worry about that.
  • Don’t open a credit card— save for what you want/need.
  • Love YOUR life. Don’t worry about what others say or do. Let them live the life they want. You choose you!
  • It’s okay to not know what you want to major in. It’s okay to switch majors— college is an investment. Make sure you are getting out of it what you want.
  • Not all friendships will last past graduation. That’s ok. There’s new friends out there.
  • You are worth it. You matter.
  • If college isn’t your thing, it’s ok. It doesn’t have to be. 
  • Spend time with those you love.
  • Never miss a chance to say thank you or I love you.
  • Take the risk— if it works out, awesome! If not, you learned from it and are better for it.
  • Make the effort to study and challenge yourself.
  • Advice given by others is second, learn to hear your own voice first and loudest.
  • It’s worth hanging around to see how the story ends.
  • The smart thing to do and the right thing to do are very rarely the same thing to do. But it never changes what the right thing to do is. Choose what is right. Always.
  • Take more pictures.
  • Always trust your instincts.
  • Apply for all the things! Enjoy everything!
  • Feeling dread all the time isn’t normal— it’s ok to get help if you need it.
  • Keep doing what makes yourself proud.
  • You’ll have so much more fun and peace if you don’t stress about dating. Don’t rush it!
  • Give yourself some grace.
  • You don’t have to have it all figured out at 18. The best is yet to come!
  • It’s ok to not know what you want.
  • Work on yourself— make yourself the kind of person you want to be.
  • Don’t be afraid. Go for it. If you fail, then try something else.
  • Try to save money.
  • Be smart with money.
  • Get the degree. Be able to support yourself.
  • If your friends are dragging you down, ditch them.
  • Don’t settle for less!
  • Be flexible— sometimes things don’t go the way you hoped they would, and you have to adapt and adjust. 
  • Look for the good in people.
  • Look for the good in every day. 
  • Be patient and the right partner will come when you are doing what you need to be doing.
  • Focus on figuring out what you want to do and work towards that goal.
  • Be gentle on yourself. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small.
  • You are doing amazing things.
  • You can do hard things.
  • Everyone you come across is fighting some kind of battle you know nothing about. Be kind.
  • Be patient with yourself and with others. We’re all doing the best we can.

Take a minute and reflect on your graduation day– what would you tell yourself?

Congratulations to the class of 2025! You did it!

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Teens Really Are Pretty Cool

I was mindlessly scrolling social media when I came across a reel that had the caption, “What I won’t forget about being your teacher.” The caption grabbed my attention, and I was partly expecting to hear a story about students who caused such havoc that the teacher would never forget them. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find the opposite. The teacher in the reel recounted two different stories where students stepped up and stepped in. So there I was, sitting at my table eating my lunch, suddenly crying about these kids I’ve never even met! Teaching is like that— you become part of a community of people with shared experiences, and your heart is reminded of the things you also experienced as a teacher. It’s really quite beautiful. 

In the first story shared, the teacher shared of a time when he allowed students to pick their own seats for the last term. As the kids settled into their new seats, he noticed that there was one boy left at a table by himself. He wasn’t sure how he was going to handle this without embarrassing the student or creating a scene. Thankfully, his worry was calmed by another student who saw the need, and quietly went to sit with the lonely student. Together, they spent the last term of chemistry class at that table, just the two of them. Crisis averted, and no one was left alone. 

In the second story, he shared a story about when he was chaperoning a high school dance. He looked down the hall to see a girl, sitting on the floor, completely alone, and looking quite distressed. Again, worried about how to approach this, he contemplated what to do. However, once again, another student saved the day. Another girl, by her own choice, came to the rescue, approached the girl on the floor, and spent the next little while talking with her. 

In addition to being deeply touched by these two stories that he shared, I was reminded that, so often, teenagers get a really bad rap. And while there are some kids who are the reason that bad rap exists, there are a ton others who prove the bad rap to be incorrect. Teenagers really are cool kids, and have so much to give. 

I was reminded of a time during my years teaching when I asked students to pull out a piece of paper and a pencil. Students hurriedly rifled through their backpacks and binders to find what they needed. One student, typically disheveled and unprepared, sat there, looking a bit panicked. Without hesitation, the girl next to him quietly and kindly set a piece of paper and pencil on his desk, turned back around, and sat patiently while she waited for my instructions.

Another time, I asked students to get into small groups to complete an assignment. I watched as they quickly formed their groups, with the groupings being exactly as I had thought they would be. Unfortunately, there were a couple of students left out, clearly feeling out of place and not sure what to do. Thankfully, there was a group of boys who saw a need and acted. They invited the un-grouped kids to join their group, and everyone was included. 

One experience that comes to mind is a personal one. My family moved to a new state as I was entering my junior in high school, and I often found myself feeling very alone. This was amplified when I was somehow put into a U.S. Government class full of seniors, non of whom I knew. I was so grateful for the students who sat near me who took it upon themselves to make sure I was included, seen, and heard. I don’t remember their names, but I do remember their kindnesses toward me. 

Time after time, I saw things like this happening in my classroom. Time after time, I was reminded that teenagers really aren’t all they are made out to be. Sure, sometimes they are a bit aloof and unkind, but that’s because they are teenagers. They are still learning how to be people. But underneath it all, they are kind, thoughtful, and observant. The future is in good hands with this generation of kids!