Tag: parent support

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Homework?! Ugh! Is It Even Worth It?

I’ve seen a meme going around that says something along the lines of, “If you hated homework as a kid, you’ll hate it even more as a parent!” If you are a parent or caregiver of a school-aged kid, you may understand just how true that statement can be. You know what I’m talking about— the nagging your kid to get it done, the whining that ensues, the time management balancing act that happens. It can be a lot for some households. 

This struggle begs the question: is homework even worth it? If it is just one more thing to add to the list of things to do, is it even worth the time and energy it takes to get it done? Are students even benefitting from it?

The short answer is sometimes. The long answer is a bit more complicated and has a lot to do with what the assignment is and what skills a student is using or gaining by doing it. If the assignment is just filler work that doesn’t practice any skills learned beforehand in class, homework isn’t going to accomplish much, and will likely leave both the student and the parent frustrated. 

But… if the assigned homework truly is an extension of what was learned in class, employs useful skills, and isn’t just a time filler, homework can indeed have some benefits. Let’s explore some of them— and maybe I might convince a few nay-sayers that homework can be at least a little bit helpful.

Benefit #1: Additional Practice

Additional practice time can provide kids with the extra practice they need to really understand a concept. Sometimes all it takes for a kid to “get” it is a little additional time working on it. If they already understand a concept, extra practice never hurts, and can help solidify the knowledge in their mind. Reading homework is especially beneficial, as reading skills are something that will be used their entire lives and are always useful. It never hurts to improve!

Benefit #2: Less Stress

Doing work at home can often be less stressful for kids, as they are in their own environment where they (hopefully) feel safe. Usually at home, the time constraints aren’t as tight, thus providing kids with a less rushed experience. When they are able to slow down and really focus on what they are doing, they are able to work more effectively and, oftentimes, more accurately. For students who, for a myriad of reasons, don’t like to ask for help at school, doing work at home can help them to feel safer asking for help from a parent.

Benefit #3: Time management

Managing time can be a tricky skill for kids to learn. This can be especially true for younger kids, as their brains can’t quite comprehend time and scheduling things. They tend to look at the now rather than a few hours ahead, and don’t understand that if they do “fun” things first, they have to still fit in their homework, dinner time, and night time routine. 

Having homework can help them learn how to better manage their time. Parents can use it as a tool to teach their kids how to schedule their time effectively so that they have time to do all the things they want to do and need to do.

Benefit #4: Time with a parent or caregiver

Homework can open opportunities to allow kids and their adults to have time together. Sure, sometimes that time can be stressful, especially if homework is involved, but the time spent working one on one is never wasted. Oftentimes, parents know how to reach their kids better than the teachers do. This can help students to understand concepts in a new or different way. Parents can also provide useful tricks and tips that helped them in school. I still remember working with my mom and grandma to memorize all 50 state capitals in fourth grade— they came up with fun mnemonic devices to help me remember what I needed to— most of which I still remember today. They provided me with really helpful tools to accomplish what I needed to, and as an added bonus, I got extra time with my mom and grandma. It was a win all around!

While I know homework can be a divisive topic, with not everyone agreeing on its benefits, hopefully I’ve shed some light on the topic and have helped you see it in a different way, and maybe, just maybe, convinced you that homework isn’t totally useless!

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Are Parent Teacher Conferences Even Worth It?

Last week we attended parent teacher conferences for my four oldest kids. Between the time spent meeting with teachers and the time spent waiting to meet with teachers, we were at the school for almost two hours. It was a long night. I started to wonder if it was even worth our time and the teachers’ time when everything that was said probably could have just been said in an email. But then as I sat and thought for a minute, I remembered that there really is great value in taking the time to go into the school and meet with the teachers face to face. 

In person meetings open the door to establishing a relationship with the teachers. It’s important to build rapport with the people in your children’s lives. And from a teacher’s perspective, it’s really nice to be able to see the parents and families of your students, as it can give you insight into the student’s family life and their situation. 

There is also something to be said for actually being in the classroom where your child learns. My kids love to show me where they sit, fun things they love about their classroom, and where their cubbies and other things are in the room, and I love being able to see all of that. I remember nights when even my “too cool” junior high students would be so excited to show their parents where they sat in my room. Students, parents, and teachers alike can enjoy being in the classroom together.

While face to face meetings and being in the classroom are both solid reasons to spend time at parent teacher conferences, I think the most important reason is for students to hear the good things that are being celebrated. As a teacher, celebrating and praising students was one of my favorite things to do. Everyone loves to hear they are doing a good job. I loved getting to tell parents about the amazing things their child was doing, especially if the student was right there with us. Nothing can replace the pride and joy that would come across the student’s face as they heard good things being said about them. As a parent, it’s such a sweet moment seeing my child’s face light up when their teacher praises them. 

So while parent teacher conference nights are long nights, the time is worth it. In order for there to be a positive relationship between parents and teachers, it’s crucial to have good communication, and conferences are such a good way to accomplish this. By taking time out of your busy life to meet with teachers, it shows your child (and their teacher) that you are invested in their education and progress. Is it possible to be invested without attending conferences? Absolutely. But conferences provide a unique opportunity for students, parents, and teachers to all come together to celebrate (and correct if necessary) the things that are happening in the classroom. 

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Back to School Affirmations

It’s hard to believe that summer is winding down and students, teachers, and parents everywhere are gearing up for a new school year. This time of year can bring about many changes and stressors, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Fortunately, there are many tools to combat those stressors, including positive affirmations.

“Today is going to be a good day, and here’s why: because today at least you are you. And that’s enough.”

Dear Evan Hansen

Positive affirmations are phrases or statements that are used to challenge negative thoughts. The concept of positive affirmations might seem hokey or awkward at first, but with consistent use, they can rewire and increase neural pathways. Not only can affirmations have physiological benefits, but they have been shown to reduce stress, boost self-esteem, aid in interventions, and increase academic performance. Our core beliefs are often formed during childhood and introducing affirmations to young children is an excellent way to instill a positive sense of identity.

Whether you are a parent looking to recite affirmations with your children in the morning, a teacher looking to incorporate them into her class routine, or a student who wants to practice them individually; here is a list of some affirmations to get you started!

  • I am smart
  • I am talented
  • I am kind
  • I am loved
  • I can learn anything
  • I always try my best
  • I am a problem solver
  • I am needed
  • I am valued
  • I respect myself
  • I am in control of my learning
  • I deserve joy and success
  • I can meet my goals
  • I do not compare my success against the success of others
  • I am proud of myself
  • I can do hard things
  • I am brave
  • I am important
  • My brain and/or body is powerful
  • I choose to include others
  • I can try again
  • I choose how I respond to things
  • I am responsible
  • I am prepared for my test
  • I can make a difference
  • I am creative
  • I am organized
  • I am capable
  • I see the best in myself and others
  • I listen to others
  • There is no one better to be than myself
  • I bring joy to others
  • I can adapt to any situation

I challenge you to choose two or three affirmations that resonate with you and apply them to your daily routine. If you need a little more inspiration, I highly recommend checking out this video:

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It’s Time to Kick Some Class! (of 2022)

Graduations across the globe are underway and thousands of students are about to enter a new chapter of their lives. Facing uncertainty can certainly be unnerving, and there are many new stressors that accompany the change. For high school students, they are figuring out which college to attend, what major they want to pursue, or if they even want to get a degree. College students are now faced with finding a lifelong career and hoping it is relevant to their degree and doesn’t turn into a dementor who sucks all the happiness from their life.

Fortunately there are plenty who have experienced graduation and lived to tell about it. Even more fortunate, I am blessed to know some pretty wise people who were willing to impart some of their wisdom with you. So for those graduating high school, college, trade school, or those who chose a different direction, these words are for you.

“Once you graduate, you quickly learn that there are two kinds of people: your friends and those who were friendly just because you had a class together that one time. And that’s okay. Treasure both friendships and learn from them.”

-Kassidy Baird (Yours Truly)

“Always expect more of yourself and take others with you on your way to the top.”

“Don’t be afraid to do something just because it seems interesting! There’s a lot of pressure to build a resume or look good for college applications or whatever, but taking time just for the things you think are cool or fun is so important in being well rounded and not getting stressed!”

“It’s okay to not have it all figured out right now, or even five years from now! Find what brings you joy, be yourself, and trust in your own personal journey.”

“Don’t rush into anything and just live in the moment. Be where you are and accept all of yourself and life will work itself out.”

“Find what you love and follow that passion. But don’t be afraid to try new things on the way. You may be surprised at what else lights your fire.”

-Twin 1

“Find something you love! So often we get caught up in ambition and what’s next, when in reality life goes so fast! Take some time for yourself to get to know what you like and what things excite you. There are so many more opportunities for your future than you could ever realize! The best part is that most people love talking about what they do and would be more than willing for you to come see their day-to-day. Explore, travel, and ask lots of questions. When what you do excites you, you will love life and make the world around you a better place.”

-Twin 2

(It isn’t super relevant that they are twins but I think it’s fun to see the similarities in their responses when they didn’t know what the other had said).

“Start applying now. And know you have more experience than you think.”

“It’s not about what you know. It’s about WHO you know. Network and be KIND.”

“Enjoy the day. Let your family take the pictures and celebrate the crap out of you. You deserve it.”

“Don’t get sucked into the rat race. After high school, for the first time, there’s all this flexibility and independence and it gets really easy to judge our own paths by the milestones we see other people hitting or not hitting (whether/when people are married, when people get degrees, if someone got a degree, other people who get right into working/careers). But life is flexible for a reason! You don’t have to have it all figured out, so don’t get caught up in measuring yourself against a measuring stick that doesn’t exist.“

I hope you guys enjoyed these words of wisdom! I have plenty more nuggets of advice that I will share in a future post. What advice do you have for the graduating class of 2022? Share your advice in the comments! Who knows, you could even end up being quoted in my next post.

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Friend or Foe? Fidget Toys in the Classroom

Fidget Toys: the very thought can make teachers (and parents) groan and roll their eyes. From stress balls to fidget spinners, there always seems to be some new gadget taking over your classroom. Should they be banned? Should they be embraced? The debate has been ongoing ever since stress balls first gained popularity in the 1980s. The practice of using sensory tools, however, has been around for much longer. Baoding balls originated during the Ming dynasty and were used to reduce stress, improve brain function, and aid in dexterity development. Before weighted blankets, there were Turkish yorgans which date back to the 16th century. The average winter yorgan weighed anywhere from nine to thirteen pounds. Komboloi, or “worry beads”, were used in Ancient Greece to promote relaxation.

While these sensory tools might have been around for centuries, the science behind them has only recently been looked into. Dr. Anna Jean Ayres first identified Sensory Integration in the 1960’s when she noticed there were children who struggled with functional tasks who didn’t fit into the specific categories of disability that were used at the time. She developed the term “Sensory Integrative Dysfunction” to describe the problems faced by children whose brains struggle to receive, process, or respond to sensory input. Sensory input instructs us on how to respond to our environment and there are consequences from being over or under-stimulated, especially for children who are still learning how to process these cues. When confronted with bright lights, messy or cluttered spaces, and loud noises, children can become agitated and retreat to quieter spaces; whether that is physically finding relief in a less stimulating area or by shutting off their sensory receptors and essentially shutting down. When stimulation is restricted, as is common in a traditional classroom, children will find their own ways to meet their sensory needs. Teachers know exactly what this looks like: tapping, bouncing up and down, kicking, touching everything and everyone, chewing on pencils, making noises, or getting out of their seat to go on some made-up “but I really needed to throw this away” mission.

This is exactly where fidget toys come in handy. (Ha! I didn’t even realize that was a pun until revising this post). And I’m not talking about fidget spinners in all their noisy, distracting glory.

It might be counter-intuitive to think that doing two things at once can enhance a student’s ability to focus on their lessons but evidence is slowly backing it up. One study demonstrated how increased movement boosted the cognitive performance of children with ADHD. Another found that students who used stress balls had improved focus, attitude, social interactions, and even writing abilities. The trick with fidget toys is finding those that don’t require so much brain power that they pull focus from the main task. How many of you have your own fidget methods that you revert to without realizing? Do you chew on pencils or repeatedly click your pen? Perhaps you doodle or bounce your leg. We all have different ideas of what an optimal “focus zone” looks like and it’s important to help students discover their own learning styles and preferences. It’s important for adults too–I decided to invest in my own fidget toys a few months ago and I always keep one at my desk. 

Looking out over your sea of pupils, it can be a little overwhelming to try and figure out their individual needs but as I always say, “When in doubt, ask it out!” As you go into a new school year, reach out to the parents and ask what has helped their child calm down in the past. Do they have a history of thumb-sucking? They would probably respond well to chewelry or rubber pencil toppers. Having a quiet space in your classroom or noise-canceling headphones would be good options for children who need time alone in their room to defuse. Some students need physical contact in order to stay grounded so pressure vests or weighted lap pads would benefit them the most. 

Another great way to learn your students’ individual learning styles is to involve them! Have them complete a task while adjusting the volume of background noise and have a discussion about which one was easiest for them to work with. Give them fidget toys to use while reading to them or showing them a video and then ask them if they were able to focus better or if it was a distraction. This also helps your students develop self-regulation skills. Giving your students access to different sensory tools allows them to stop seeing them as toys and start to recognize when they really need them.

If this sounds like wishful thinking, there are lots of people who would agree with you. Fortunately there are also lots of tips and tricks out there to help you integrate fidget toys into your classroom. Here are some of the most common ones that I encountered in my research:

  1. BOUNDARIES. Work with your students to come up with rules for the fidget toys that they are willing to follow. Post the rules somewhere in your classroom as a visual reminder.
  2. Have a variety of tools available to the class. This can prevent jealousy among students and allows you to use discretion in deciding what toys are actually beneficial. 
  3. Find toys that don’t produce noise or require sight to use. The kids should be able to use their hands or feet to fidget while using their eyes and ears to learn.
  4. Be patient! Once your students get used to the sensory tools in the classroom, the novelty will wear off and they’ll be less of a distraction.
  5. Remind your students that “fair” isn’t the same thing as “equal”. Different people have different needs and it’s important to support those needs.

Ultimately the choice to integrate sensory tools into your classroom is up to you! The fad fidget toys will come and go, but there are plenty of tried and true options that can really work wonders when properly used.

Are fidget toys a menace to society or a misunderstood ally? What challenges or successes have you seen come from them?

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Reading Before Kindergarten- Is It Really Necessary?

Reading before Kindergarten- is it necessary? Is it beneficial? Is it something parents and educators should be spending their precious minutes with the children on? As time goes on, more and more pressure is put on parents to have high academically achieving children and preschools across the nation are meeting this “need” by giving kids an academic-based preschool in exchange for a play-based preschool.  

I’ve been hearing an ad for a local preschool in my area that boasts “We will have your kids reading before kindergarten!” and every time I hear the ad it makes me angry that they are adding to the social pressure put on parents for having a reading four or five year old! No parent should ever have to feel inadequate because their child isn’t an early reader. It goes without saying that this is not a preschool I can support.

Reading to her horses, even though she can’t read! What great pretend play that will eventually lead to reading.

Did you know that if your kid is reading before kindergarten, studies have shown that by 2nd grade they don’t have much advantage over kids who learned to read in kindergarten? Did you know that teaching your child to read before they are ready can actually drive them away from reading and make them a worse reader in the long run? It may be exciting at your mom group to brag about how academically advanced your child is, it’s exciting to celebrate your kid’s accomplishments! But that shouldn’t be shadowing out what they truly need. 

I have even felt the pressure myself and my daughter is not even 3 years old yet. I see friends with kids similar ages who can name letters and sounds so easy, yet my daughter is just barely showing a small interest in letters and not even close to knowing what they are or what they say. This is discouraging because I have read to her every day and she has been exposed to letter for years now!! But she will pick it up in her own time. Until then, she is establishing her love of reading, and that is more important than letter names right now.

Reading before kindergarten is not bad by any means! If your child is genuinely showing an interest in letters and words and stringing them together to read sentences, by all means, let them fly!! When it comes to teaching kids to read, let them lead. 

There are so many other things we can and should be doing with our kids instead of pushing reading on them. First, back to the basics that create lifelong readers, and some of my favorite things to do!: 

Talk 

Sing 

Read 

Write 

Play 

These fundamental skills build the learning basics of reading. Talking and singing with them will do more in the long run than pushing letter learning on them. Giving them genuine time to play, build, and make-believe will do wonders. Play is a child’s work! It’s how they learn and grow. 

Choosing an academic-based preschool and even kindergarten robs them of their most needed resource- PLAY! Let the kids play, really play! Mary also wrote out 5 lessons her kids taught her about play that is also helpful in this situation! I also loved her perspective of Kindergarten readiness from a teacher AND a parent standpoint when her daughter was almost kinder age! She has amazing resources and tips for us. 

Other things you can focus on with your child that promote kindergarten readiness instead of reading: 

Sensory activities

Writing, drawing, coloring, and painting 

Puzzles and problem solving 

How to maintain and hold a conversation 

Establishing a love for books and being read to 

Build positive relationships with books- from the beginning!

Let’s take the pressure of reading off kids! Let’s play and sing and let the kids lead! Choose a play-based preschool, give them books, point out letters in your daily life, and when they are interested, let them read! 

What are your thoughts on reading before kindergarten? Do you as a parent feel the social pressure of early reading? 

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Parent Resources For School Closures

With schools across the nation shutting down for COVID-19 social distancing purposes, parents are left at home, many overwhelmed by keeping up with student’s needs for learning. 

First, take a deep breath. There are resources and help out there for you, and I want to share my best tips with you as well. 

Whether you have a newborn or a college student moving home, these basic principals apply. 

TALK

Talk to your kids. Ask them their thoughts and feelings, tell them about your day and your thoughts and feelings. Comment on colors of objects or numbers around you. Have open, fun conversations. 

SING

Sing lullabies and I’m A Little Teapot, sing made up songs about washing hands, and throw a little Queen in there. Sing them songs. 

READ

Read picture books and chapter books. Read their favorite book and your favorite book. Read them magazines and online articles. It doesn’t matter what you’re reading, it just matters that you READ. 

WRITE

Write small journal entries about their day, write a book, write a sentence. Have them notice everyday life and write about it. Let them see the scientific method be put to use every day in the simple things like getting dressed or choosing a breakfast food, and write it down. Use a pencil, use a pen, use a computer, but all they need to do is put words together to make sentences. Or if they are younger, put pictures together to create a story! 

PLAY

Engage in real, genuine, play. Make pillow forts and cuddle on the couch. Just enjoy your time together and use your imagination. 

No need to overcomplicate an already stressful situation. Just take it day by day, do your best, and wash your hands. You’ve got this!