Tag: parent involvement

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Parents and Special Education Services: A Series, Part 2

Last week, I started what will be a series of posts of interviews with parents who have children in Special Education. You can find the first post here. Our next interview is with McKenzie, who has a darling six year old boy who is receiving SPED services. Like me, McKenzie is also a former teacher who was familiar with SPED from a teacher’s perspective, and had to learn how to see it from a parent’s perspective. Let’s see what she had to say!

Please tell me a little about your child who is receiving Special Education services. (Age, grade, etc.)

E. is 6 years old. He just finished kindergarten this year and was on an IEP starting in preschool. He is on the IEP mainly for speech therapy, but also receives OT for a sensory processing disorder. He is also in the process of an autism diagnosis. 

What kind of services does your child receive? (general education with pull out services for speech/math/reading, etc., behavior unit, mild-moderate life skills class, etc.)

E. does OT in school as well as Speech Therapy. He is in the GenEd class the rest of the time. 

What has been the most difficult thing about navigating the SPED world in schools?

I wasn’t prepared for the emotional toll as a mom. I have a BS in Elementary Education and know the ins and outs of SPED and IEPs and this whole SPED world, but I knew it from a teacher’s perspective. I wasn’t as prepared to enter it as a parent, and it was emotional seeing it from that perspective. 

As a parent, what has been the most rewarding or positive thing about working with SPED services in schools?

Watching E. improve and thrive in school has been incredible. We were extremely worried about sending him to public school and considered home schooling him, but watching him meet his goals on his IEP over time felt very rewarding. Working with the SPED team has also been incredibly rewarding because of the community and support they provide (more on that in the next q). 

How do you feel other students and teachers respond to and interact with your child? Do you feel like there is a good amount of inclusiveness at your child’s school?

The outpouring of love and support from everyone on his IEP team has been incredible! His speech teacher, his OT, the principal, the GenEd teacher, even the PE teacher and the secretaries… literally EVERYONE he interacts with has his best interests in mind and they all have wanted to rally together to give E. the best school experience possible. 

As far as other students, they are too young to even register that there are small things that set E. apart from everyone else. I do worry about how the students will start treating him in later grades when they see him wearing his noise cancelling headphones often, playing with fidgets constantly, and being able to walk out of the classroom for a break whenever he wants (per his IEP).

As a parent, what are some ways you advocate for your child to make sure they are in the least restrictive environment and receiving the services they need and deserve?

Right now, I’m not having to do much in the school to advocate for E. In fact, I think the teachers are advocating for him TO ME instead! I was nonchalant about getting him tested for autism because I’ve had so much push back from medical professionals to the point of one doctor saying flat out “He doesn’t have autism and you’re wasting your time trying to get him a diagnosis.” So I stopped pursuing it. But at an IEP meeting, they convinced me that I needed to push for it more and listed all of the ways an autism diagnosis could help him day to day and in the long run. Now we are back to working on an autism diagnosis with a new team of doctors, so that’s where I’ve spent all of my time advocating! 

If you could tell one (or two or more) thing(s) to people who don’t have much experience with working with children with disabilities of any kind and severity, what would you tell them?

That these kids are not bad, even though they sometimes may come across as that. Their brains are just working differently than yours, and that’s not something to be punished or looked down on, it’s something that needs tolerance, understanding, and love. And you’ll get much further with these kids acting out of tolerance, understanding, and love than you will any other way. 

Thank you, McKenzie! Thank you for reminding us that kids in SPED need our love and understanding!

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Parents and Special Education Services: A Series

As a teacher, I became very familiar with the educator side of Special Education. I knew how to read an IEP, how to accommodate the various needs of the students in my classes who had an IEP, and what to watch for to determine if any particular student presented themselves with a need for additional testing and help. I felt pretty confident in my knowledge of the Special Education terms, processes, and procedures. 

It wasn’t until I became a parent of a child who needed Special Education services that I began to see the SPED world in a whole new light. Suddenly, the testing process, IEP meetings, IEP teams, and services became very personal. I was anxious about what this would all mean for my son. 

Almost four years ago, my then two year old was not hitting his speech milestones as expected. We started him with our county’s early intervention program and saw great progress. When he aged out of their program, they set us up with the school district, and let them take over services. He has been on an IEP ever since then, and has made remarkable progress. 

Fast forward a few years, and our youngest three children are all on an IEP and are receiving SPED services for speech. My previous anxieties about having children who qualify for and receive Special Education services have since gone away. I have come to see, now more than ever, that Special Education is an amazing resource, and that I have an incredible role as a parent to advocate for my children and to develop good relationships with their IEP team. 

I know I am not the only parent who has gone through these thoughts and emotions surrounding having a child placed in any kind of SPED services. I interviewed a few parents who have at a child who is currently receiving or have previously received Special Education services for any kind or severity of disability. Join me as I share a series of these interviews over the next couple of weeks! 

My first interview was with Brandy, whose son received speech therapy services for part of his elementary school years.

Please tell me a little about your child who is receiving Special Education services. (Age, grade, etc.)

* L. is 12 and going into 7th grade. He was in speech from 3rd to 6th.

What kind of services does your child receive? (general education with pull out services for speech/math/reading, etc., behavior unit, mild-moderate life skills class, etc.)

* He was in general education with pull out for speech.

What has been the most difficult thing about navigating the SPED world in schools?

* When we first started I knew almost nothing about SPED lingo or the different tools and tests used. Going in for IEPs was difficult when I didn’t feel like I understood what was happening and therefore didn’t know how to be a good advocate for my child.

As a parent, what has been the most rewarding or positive thing about working with SPED services in schools?

* Having a team of people who care about my child and are working to help him grow has been awesome.

How do you feel other students and teachers respond to and interact with your child? Do you feel like there is a good amount of inclusiveness at your child’s school?

* Inclusivity is huge at my kids’ school. L’s teachers have been super helpful with input during IEP meetings and with helping me know how to best advocate for additional help and testing where needed.

As a parent, what are some ways you advocate for your child to make sure they are in the least restrictive environment and receiving the services they need and deserve?

* Being in speech, my child was already in a minimally restrictive environment. He was only pulled, at most, 10 minutes, twice a week. I feel like my kids’ school does a great job of getting students their service time, while making sure they aren’t missing areas of necessary general education.

If you could tell one (or two or more) thing(s) to people who don’t have much experience with working with children with disabilities of any kind and severity, what would you tell them?

  • Love and caring always comes first. Children can’t effectively learn and grow without it. Once they start picking up on the skills they’ve been working towards, it’s so rewarding to see the pride they take in themselves.

I really enjoyed hearing from Brandy about her experience with the Special Education department in her son’s school. It’s always so great to hear about teachers and support staff who are genuinely concerned with the progress of their students! 

Thank you, Brandy, for sharing your experience!

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Parent Involvement and its Benefits

There are many different types of parents/guardians. They can range from the completely uninterested and uninvolved to the epitome of a helicopter parent, and everywhere in between. I don’t think there’s one “right” or “wrong” way to parent; everyone has their own style, and it often varies from kid to kid. There are obviously parents who are on the extreme ends of the spectrum, but I think that as long as you’re providing your children with the essentials— food, clothing, shelter, healthcare, and love— and not harming them, you’re doing a-okay. 

But I’m not here to tell you how to parent, or even to offer parenting tips and strategies. I’ll leave that to the parenting experts. I will, however, explore how parental involvement, or lack thereof, can impact a child. There are a lot of things that contribute to a child’s success and confidence, and parental involvement is pretty high up on that list. Before we dive into the why behind it, I want to add a disclaimer that I know not all kids have a parent present in their lives. I understand that all families are different. For the purposes of this article, I will use the term “parent” to describe any adult who is a guardian or caregiver to a child, in any capacity. 

Having the support of a parent figure can, and does, positively impact how a child performs in many areas of their life. Knowing that there is an adult who loves and supports them gives a child an increased sense of safety, belonging, confidence, and assurance. It’s similar to a tightrope walker knowing there is a safety net under them; they know if they fall, there will be something there to catch them and keep them safe. Kids who have positive adult supports know that there is someone there to catch them and help them. Being a child’s safety net is an important role. 

In my experience as a teacher, I noticed a large discrepancy between my students who had little to no parental support and those that did have parental support. I’m sure you can guess, but my students who didn’t have much support at home struggled academically. They often had lower grades, would struggle to keep up and learn the material, and often would be disorganized, unkempt, and would also frequently have behavior problems. On the other hand, students who did have parental support typically had higher grades, a more positive attitude, and less behavior problems. 

As I’ve thought about the why behind these discrepancies, I’ve realized that there’s not just one reason why parent involvement can impact a child so deeply. But what I do know is that if a child has someone at home who doesn’t show interest in what’s going on at school and isn’t aware of what’s happening in and out of school, that child is more likely to stop caring as well. If there isn’t anyone at home to answer to, many children see that as an opportunity to give minimal effort. I believe that often times, these decisions to not try or to act out in school or other areas are cries for help— a cry that they hope will gain any amount of attention from their parental figure(s). 

The reasons parents might not be involved can vary just as much as the types of parents out there. Some parents might not be involved by choice. Perhaps their parents didn’t care much about their academic success, and they choose to continue the cycle with their own kids. Involvement requires effort, and for some parents, it’s an effort that is beyond what they can or want to put forth. Other parents might find themselves in the midst of things out of their control— things like health problems or work responsibilities— and may wish that they were able to be more involved and present. Parents who have been pulled away from their children due to custody issues, incarceration, or other legal issues can find it difficult to be involved with their kids. Whatever the reason, these examples of lack of involvement can all have a negative impact on a child’s success to one degree or another. 

On the other hand, there are parents who are actively involved in their child’s life. They are at parent-teacher conferences, performances, games, concerts, appointments, and programs. They ask questions and are aware of the who, what, where, when, and whys of their child’s life. They help with homework and take interest in what they child is learning at school. They know about the report they are writing for English or the experiment they did in Biology that day. They chat with their kids while they make dinner, fold laundry, or drive to practice. The kids of these parents know that their parent(s) have their backs, and that they are willing to put forth the effort to help them succeed; those efforts are reflected in grades, confidence, and attitude. 

Now, I understand that not all parents are able to be involved in every second of their child’s life. I know that not all parents can make it to every game or performance. This doesn’t make them a bad parent. It doesn’t make them uninvolved. You can be an involved parent without being physically present at every event. Involvement looks different for every person. For some, it does mean attending everything. For others, it means asking questions and being aware. It can look like helping with homework in the evening. It can even look like a FaceTime call during an award assembly. You don’t have to be a helicopter parent to be involved. BUT— you do have to put forth some effort to be an active part of your child’s life. 

However you choose or are able to be involved in the life of your child, make it count. Make sure your child knows you support them, love them, care for them, and are there for them. Foster positive relationships, and you will create a bond that is strong between you and your child. No parent is perfect, and no parent can be to all the things all the time. But if there is a little effort involved, your child will feel it, and the positive impact will make itself known for years to come.