Tag: kindness

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Bullying is Never the Answer

If you’ve been in the classroom for any length of time, you have likely witnessed first hand just how mean and destructive bullies can be. It’s a problem that seems to have existed for as long as humans have been around, and it doesn’t seem to be going away anytime soon. In fact, it’s becoming more prominent with social media being so accessible. Students need to understand  that bullying is never ok and is never the answer. The repercussions of being the target of a bully are long lasting and can be quite detrimental to a person’s health, confidence, and self image. 

As teachers, it is crucial that if we see something, we say something, and that we teach our students to do the same. We need to teach our students what bullying is, what it can look like, how it feels to be the victim, and how to address it when/if we see it happening. I found a few picture books that did a great job of teaching these concepts— take a look!

Giraffe is Left Out written by Sue Craves, illustrated by Trevor Dunton

Giraffe, Little Lion, and Monkey are all friends. When Leopard moves into their class, Giraffe is not excited. He does not want to let Leopard join their friend group, and purposely excludes Leopard from any and all activities. Leopard is sad and feels left out. When it comes time to pass out invitations to his birthday party, Leopard gives one to everyone else, but doesn’t give one to Giraffe. Now Giraffe is the one who feels left out. Soon, he begins to understand just how mean it is to leave people out, and he learns that Leopard is actually a really good friend. Giraffe mends his ways and becomes a friend to Leopard in the end.

I liked how this book showed that excluding people is a form of bullying, and that it can be hurtful to others.

Billy Bully by Alvaro & Ana Galan, illustrated by Steve Simpson

When Billy Bully comes to the playground to play with the other kids, he takes over and makes the fun go away. He takes toys, cuts in line, pushes, breaks others’ things, tricks people, and won’t take turns. No one wants to play with him. With every mean thing he does, another kid leaves the playground. Soon, he is left with no one to play with, and he starts to realize that the things he was doing weren’t nice. One by one, he goes to his friends and apologizes and makes up for the things he had done. Soon, all the kids have come back to play together.

The illustrations in this book are so cute, and the story is easy to follow. There is also a counting element as Bully’s friends leave and come back one by one. I loved how it depicted several ways that someone can be a bully to help kids understand that bullying can take on many forms.

Eddie the Bully written and illustrated by Henry Cole

Eddie is mean, mean, mean. He says unkind things about his friends, teases them, ruins their art projects, and more. No one likes to play with him. He’s always picked last for teams, left out of the fun, and ignored. When Carla, a new girl, moves into their class, she is assigned to sit right next to Eddie. Everyone expects Eddie to say and do mean things to her, but before he has the chance, Carla compliments Eddie on his sweater and tells him that everyone must want to be his friend! Eddie is unsure what to say to this, because he knows that it isn’t true. Carla asks Eddie to help her make new friends, and Eddie agrees. He quickly learns that it feels good to be nice, so he changes his ways and starts over, this time, being a friend to everyone.

Similar to Billy Bully, this story shows different ways that bullying can happen, helping kids to understand that bullying isn’t just one thing.

Bullies Never Win by Margery Cuyler, illustrated by Arthur Howard

Jessica is a first grader who worries about a lot of things, one of which is Brenda, a girl at school who likes to bully and be mean. Brenda finds a way to make fun of everything Jessica does, so Jessica slowly stops doing all the things she loves to do. Jessica finally has had enough and breaks down crying to her mom. Her mom suggests that she stand up for herself or tell their teacher. Jessica is worried about what she will do or say to Brenda to make her stop being a bully. The next day at lunch, Brenda continues to tease and say mean things. Jessica has had enough, and stands up and tells Brenda that, “… bullies never win!” Brenda is embarrassed and doesn’t say anything else to Jessica. That night, Jessica feels proud of herself for standing up to Brenda.

I loved how this story showed how to stand up to a bully. It was an empowering story!

Bully written and illustrated by Jennifer Sattler

Bully is a bull frog, and he wants all the lily pads on the pond all for himself. He won’t let any other pond friends eat them, smell them, or look at them. Soon, he has chased everyone away and is all alone. There is only one flower left, and he wants it just for himself, so he sits on it to protect it. A bee comes up to him and tries to save the flower by reminding Bully that he’s sitting on it. Bully is mean and asks the bee what he’s going to do about it. The bee has an idea, and buzzes away to gather his friends. Together they reclaim the pond and chase Bully away. The lilies begin to grow again, and the pond is back to its thriving self. Bully moves to a new pond, but is sad to see that it’s just a pond of mud, and he is all alone. Still, all he cares about is that the pond is all his.

This story showed that it can be powerful to stand up to a bully as a group— strength in numbers. 

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Bullying is never the answer, and students need to know that. These books do a great job of teaching that and showing that bullying can take on many forms. Bullying is a problem that many kids will face, either directly or indirectly, and it’s important that students be equipped with the tools they need to stand up to bullies and speak up when they see it happening. We may not be able to completely eradicate bullying from our schools, but we can certainly make a difference by teaching our students to respect and watch out for one another.

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Kindness Matters

We had Parent-Teacher Conferences for my kids last night, and I was so excited to go. I love hearing updates from teachers, and my kids love to show me where their desk is, their cubby, and take me to see their work that is hanging in the hall. With five kids all at the same school, those nights can get pretty long, but they are worth it.

I enjoy hearing how they are doing academically; it’s fun to see beginning of year test scores compared to present scores— there is almost always improvement. It’s encouraging to see the forward leaps they make as they learn. I also really enjoy hearing how my children can improve. If there is an area (or multiple) that need attention, I like to know so that I can give my full support to my child as well as to their teacher. 

Though I do enjoy hearing about the academic progress that is being made, I love it even more when I get a report from a teacher telling me that my child is helpful, kind, friendly, and respectful to everyone, adults and kids alike. Knowing that my child is being a good human means so much to me. We try so hard at home to teach our children to be kind, to include, and to respect others. We do our best to teach them good manners and what a good friend looks like. When I send them to school each morning, I just hope that what they have been taught sticks with them, and it is so reassuring to hear that they indeed did hear us and remembered! 

I think so often parents worry about their children getting good grades, especially in upper grades. There seems to be so much pressure on kids today to be the best in their class, get the highest score on the test, or that any grade below a B is unacceptable. Obviously, parents aren’t out there wanting their kids to fail, but I think there could be more flexibility when it comes to expectations. That’s not to say for parents to just let go and stop encouraging their kids, because there is definitely value in pushing your kids to do and be their best. But when it becomes all about grades, I think we’ve missed the mark. 

I was always a good student, and my grades were usually pretty good. But I can tell you that not a single person in my adult life has cared what grade I got in my high school math class. No one has asked if I scored 100% on the AP US History test I took as a junior. It simply doesn’t matter anymore. But what does matter is that I am a kind person, who includes others, is friendly, and listens to people. 

When it comes down to it, the way we treat others says a whole lot more about who we are as people than the grades we pulled in school. Sure, good grades can indicate that someone is a hard, determined worker, and good grades can get you into a college where you can earn a degree and work toward making a career for yourself. Having a job allows you to have money to pay your bills and put food on the table. But it’s important to remember that being kind is good, too. 

So as your children (and your students) grow and learn, be sure to teach them more than just academics; teach them to be kind, patient, respectful, and inclusive. Because one day, it’s the way they are that will truly take them places in this life. 

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Bullying: An Epidemic

One of the jobs of a teacher is to make their classroom a safe place for all students— a place where kids can come and feel like they belong, matter, and are heard. Most teachers I know of do a pretty good job at that, or at least trying their best to do so. Unfortunately, there are some kids who are pretty good at taking a safe place and making it feel not so safe by being a bully. And, equally as unfortunate, these kids are usually sneaky in their ways, often getting away with their behaviors until a situation becomes more serious. 

Bullying isn’t a new problem— it’s an issue that has been present in schools as long as schools have been around, and I don’t see it going anywhere anytime soon. As teachers, we have the responsibility to keep our eyes and ears open and to intervene any time we become aware of a bullying situation. We cannot turn a blind eye to this problem. 

So what can we do? To start, we can teach kindness and acceptance in our homes to our own children as well as to our students in our classrooms. We can encourage students to talk to a trusted adult when they see or hear bullying behaviors or when they are the victim of those behaviors. We can make our selves more aware of what is going on around us. Getting to know our students helps in several ways— it creates a relationship of trust and also can help us notice if something seems “off” or different. We need to be active listeners, doers, and watchers within the walls of our classrooms and our schools. 

If we do become aware of a problem, we can involve administration if needed. Beyond discipline, most admins will be willing to come into your classroom and talk about bullying and the problems it can cause— and the consequences that may result. 

Last school year, my second grader came home one day and told us that a classmate had been mean to him verbally and physically. We talked through the situation and discussed how he can handle it if it happened again. Unfortunately, it did continue happening. My son said he had told the recess aid whenever it would happen, but nothing changed. At this point, I emailed his teacher and explained what had been happening. I was so impressed with how she handled it; it was immediate and firm. She set up new class guidelines and made sure her students knew that she would not tolerate any kind of mean behavior in her classroom. She let them know that if she heard or saw anything happening, there would be immediate consequences and that the principal would become involved. She instituted a kindness challenge where students were given a grid of kind things to do for others. Once they had completed all the tasks on the grid, they could bring their paper back for a prize. Not only did she address the issue of bullying, she went a step further and encouraged all her students to be kinder and more patient with one another. Thankfully the problems my son was experiencing stopped, and the rest of the school year was just fine.

I know not all bullying situations are resolved as quickly and easily as my son’s was. I know for some students, it goes on for weeks, months, or even years, slowly eating away at the victim’s mental health and self esteem. It takes a toll. 

Cyber bullying is becoming more prevalent as technology continues to evolve. Kids (and sadly, even adults) can hide behind a screen and target individuals. Information spreads quickly via the internet, and can be done without the victim ever knowing who the bully is. This kind of bullying is dangerous and scary. It is also cowardly, as the bully doesn’t even have to come face to face with their targets. They can hide in the comfort of their own homes while slowly destroying someone else’s life. 

I don’t know that there are any easy or sure fire solutions to this epidemic happening in our schools. But I do know that we as teachers can make a difference by being alert, attentive, and aware of what is happening around us. We can be proactive by teaching and encouraging kindness. We can be assertive when we notice something happening and get those involved the help they need. While we may not be able to rid the world of bullying, we can certainly start a change within our own classrooms.

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Teens Really Are Pretty Cool

I was mindlessly scrolling social media when I came across a reel that had the caption, “What I won’t forget about being your teacher.” The caption grabbed my attention, and I was partly expecting to hear a story about students who caused such havoc that the teacher would never forget them. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find the opposite. The teacher in the reel recounted two different stories where students stepped up and stepped in. So there I was, sitting at my table eating my lunch, suddenly crying about these kids I’ve never even met! Teaching is like that— you become part of a community of people with shared experiences, and your heart is reminded of the things you also experienced as a teacher. It’s really quite beautiful. 

In the first story shared, the teacher shared of a time when he allowed students to pick their own seats for the last term. As the kids settled into their new seats, he noticed that there was one boy left at a table by himself. He wasn’t sure how he was going to handle this without embarrassing the student or creating a scene. Thankfully, his worry was calmed by another student who saw the need, and quietly went to sit with the lonely student. Together, they spent the last term of chemistry class at that table, just the two of them. Crisis averted, and no one was left alone. 

In the second story, he shared a story about when he was chaperoning a high school dance. He looked down the hall to see a girl, sitting on the floor, completely alone, and looking quite distressed. Again, worried about how to approach this, he contemplated what to do. However, once again, another student saved the day. Another girl, by her own choice, came to the rescue, approached the girl on the floor, and spent the next little while talking with her. 

In addition to being deeply touched by these two stories that he shared, I was reminded that, so often, teenagers get a really bad rap. And while there are some kids who are the reason that bad rap exists, there are a ton others who prove the bad rap to be incorrect. Teenagers really are cool kids, and have so much to give. 

I was reminded of a time during my years teaching when I asked students to pull out a piece of paper and a pencil. Students hurriedly rifled through their backpacks and binders to find what they needed. One student, typically disheveled and unprepared, sat there, looking a bit panicked. Without hesitation, the girl next to him quietly and kindly set a piece of paper and pencil on his desk, turned back around, and sat patiently while she waited for my instructions.

Another time, I asked students to get into small groups to complete an assignment. I watched as they quickly formed their groups, with the groupings being exactly as I had thought they would be. Unfortunately, there were a couple of students left out, clearly feeling out of place and not sure what to do. Thankfully, there was a group of boys who saw a need and acted. They invited the un-grouped kids to join their group, and everyone was included. 

One experience that comes to mind is a personal one. My family moved to a new state as I was entering my junior in high school, and I often found myself feeling very alone. This was amplified when I was somehow put into a U.S. Government class full of seniors, non of whom I knew. I was so grateful for the students who sat near me who took it upon themselves to make sure I was included, seen, and heard. I don’t remember their names, but I do remember their kindnesses toward me. 

Time after time, I saw things like this happening in my classroom. Time after time, I was reminded that teenagers really aren’t all they are made out to be. Sure, sometimes they are a bit aloof and unkind, but that’s because they are teenagers. They are still learning how to be people. But underneath it all, they are kind, thoughtful, and observant. The future is in good hands with this generation of kids!