Bullying: An Epidemic

One of the jobs of a teacher is to make their classroom a safe place for all students— a place where kids can come and feel like they belong, matter, and are heard. Most teachers I know of do a pretty good job at that, or at least trying their best to do so. Unfortunately, there are some kids who are pretty good at taking a safe place and making it feel not so safe by being a bully. And, equally as unfortunate, these kids are usually sneaky in their ways, often getting away with their behaviors until a situation becomes more serious. 

Bullying isn’t a new problem— it’s an issue that has been present in schools as long as schools have been around, and I don’t see it going anywhere anytime soon. As teachers, we have the responsibility to keep our eyes and ears open and to intervene any time we become aware of a bullying situation. We cannot turn a blind eye to this problem. 

So what can we do? To start, we can teach kindness and acceptance in our homes to our own children as well as to our students in our classrooms. We can encourage students to talk to a trusted adult when they see or hear bullying behaviors or when they are the victim of those behaviors. We can make our selves more aware of what is going on around us. Getting to know our students helps in several ways— it creates a relationship of trust and also can help us notice if something seems “off” or different. We need to be active listeners, doers, and watchers within the walls of our classrooms and our schools. 

If we do become aware of a problem, we can involve administration if needed. Beyond discipline, most admins will be willing to come into your classroom and talk about bullying and the problems it can cause— and the consequences that may result. 

Last school year, my second grader came home one day and told us that a classmate had been mean to him verbally and physically. We talked through the situation and discussed how he can handle it if it happened again. Unfortunately, it did continue happening. My son said he had told the recess aid whenever it would happen, but nothing changed. At this point, I emailed his teacher and explained what had been happening. I was so impressed with how she handled it; it was immediate and firm. She set up new class guidelines and made sure her students knew that she would not tolerate any kind of mean behavior in her classroom. She let them know that if she heard or saw anything happening, there would be immediate consequences and that the principal would become involved. She instituted a kindness challenge where students were given a grid of kind things to do for others. Once they had completed all the tasks on the grid, they could bring their paper back for a prize. Not only did she address the issue of bullying, she went a step further and encouraged all her students to be kinder and more patient with one another. Thankfully the problems my son was experiencing stopped, and the rest of the school year was just fine.

I know not all bullying situations are resolved as quickly and easily as my son’s was. I know for some students, it goes on for weeks, months, or even years, slowly eating away at the victim’s mental health and self esteem. It takes a toll. 

Cyber bullying is becoming more prevalent as technology continues to evolve. Kids (and sadly, even adults) can hide behind a screen and target individuals. Information spreads quickly via the internet, and can be done without the victim ever knowing who the bully is. This kind of bullying is dangerous and scary. It is also cowardly, as the bully doesn’t even have to come face to face with their targets. They can hide in the comfort of their own homes while slowly destroying someone else’s life. 

I don’t know that there are any easy or sure fire solutions to this epidemic happening in our schools. But I do know that we as teachers can make a difference by being alert, attentive, and aware of what is happening around us. We can be proactive by teaching and encouraging kindness. We can be assertive when we notice something happening and get those involved the help they need. While we may not be able to rid the world of bullying, we can certainly start a change within our own classrooms.

Teens Really Are Pretty Cool

I was mindlessly scrolling social media when I came across a reel that had the caption, “What I won’t forget about being your teacher.” The caption grabbed my attention, and I was partly expecting to hear a story about students who caused such havoc that the teacher would never forget them. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find the opposite. The teacher in the reel recounted two different stories where students stepped up and stepped in. So there I was, sitting at my table eating my lunch, suddenly crying about these kids I’ve never even met! Teaching is like that— you become part of a community of people with shared experiences, and your heart is reminded of the things you also experienced as a teacher. It’s really quite beautiful. 

In the first story shared, the teacher shared of a time when he allowed students to pick their own seats for the last term. As the kids settled into their new seats, he noticed that there was one boy left at a table by himself. He wasn’t sure how he was going to handle this without embarrassing the student or creating a scene. Thankfully, his worry was calmed by another student who saw the need, and quietly went to sit with the lonely student. Together, they spent the last term of chemistry class at that table, just the two of them. Crisis averted, and no one was left alone. 

In the second story, he shared a story about when he was chaperoning a high school dance. He looked down the hall to see a girl, sitting on the floor, completely alone, and looking quite distressed. Again, worried about how to approach this, he contemplated what to do. However, once again, another student saved the day. Another girl, by her own choice, came to the rescue, approached the girl on the floor, and spent the next little while talking with her. 

In addition to being deeply touched by these two stories that he shared, I was reminded that, so often, teenagers get a really bad rap. And while there are some kids who are the reason that bad rap exists, there are a ton others who prove the bad rap to be incorrect. Teenagers really are cool kids, and have so much to give. 

I was reminded of a time during my years teaching when I asked students to pull out a piece of paper and a pencil. Students hurriedly rifled through their backpacks and binders to find what they needed. One student, typically disheveled and unprepared, sat there, looking a bit panicked. Without hesitation, the girl next to him quietly and kindly set a piece of paper and pencil on his desk, turned back around, and sat patiently while she waited for my instructions.

Another time, I asked students to get into small groups to complete an assignment. I watched as they quickly formed their groups, with the groupings being exactly as I had thought they would be. Unfortunately, there were a couple of students left out, clearly feeling out of place and not sure what to do. Thankfully, there was a group of boys who saw a need and acted. They invited the un-grouped kids to join their group, and everyone was included. 

One experience that comes to mind is a personal one. My family moved to a new state as I was entering my junior in high school, and I often found myself feeling very alone. This was amplified when I was somehow put into a U.S. Government class full of seniors, non of whom I knew. I was so grateful for the students who sat near me who took it upon themselves to make sure I was included, seen, and heard. I don’t remember their names, but I do remember their kindnesses toward me. 

Time after time, I saw things like this happening in my classroom. Time after time, I was reminded that teenagers really aren’t all they are made out to be. Sure, sometimes they are a bit aloof and unkind, but that’s because they are teenagers. They are still learning how to be people. But underneath it all, they are kind, thoughtful, and observant. The future is in good hands with this generation of kids!