Tag: kindergarten

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Doing What is Best For the Child #TeacherMom

I was dead set on holding him back for kindergarten.

My “middle of August” baby born four years ago has forced me to have kindergarten on my mind since the day I knew his due date. I guess that’s a normal thought process after spending years working towards a teaching degree and years beyond that in multiple classrooms and schools. 

Knowing he was a boy with a very late summer birthday, I knew I wanted to hold him back. I’ve had this decision set in my mind for years now. 

But then his course of schooling took some unexpected turns.

We had the developmental preschool in our school district put him through their testing to see if he could qualify for their free preschool, which is an amazing resource to have! 

After three separate days of testing he was able to gain acceptance into their program under an IEP for speech therapy, occupational therapy, and physical therapy, all while under close observation for a pending ADHD diagnosis. 

Whew. We just went from a child with a few sensory issues that we were working through to a full-on IEP and in-school services weekly. 

It was a whirlwind taking it all in and seeing where he landed with all of his testing, while then sitting through my first-ever IEP meeting as a parent and going through each of his goals. 

And still, the kindergarten question loomed over me. 

Because legally, this is the last year he can attend this preschool and receive in-school therapies as a preschooler, since next year he will turn 5. Therapies and schooling can only continue if he is in kindergarten.

So without the ability of sending him to preschool again as a five-year-old like I was hoping for, it leaves us with two options. Send him to kindergarten as a very new five-year-old, or keep him home for a year so that we can send him back to public school as a very new six-year-old. 

I know in many cities there would be many other courses of action that can be taken, like charter schools or private preschools and therapies. 

But unfortunately for us in our small town, those are not options we have. Keeping him from kindergarten next year would mean a full-year lapse in therapies that he so desperately needs more than I realized. 

It means redoing all of his testing to place him back into these therapies when he does start school again because everything would lapse and we would be starting over from scratch. 

I was set on holding him back for kinder. I was ready to put him into the public school system as a six-year-old, more prepared and ready to take on the world with an extra year of playing outside in the sticks and mud instead of sitting at a desk. 

But what wins out over what I want, is what he needs. Yes, I want to hold him back a year and I can see the benefits tenfold of sending him to kindergarten later. But I can see the better, higher benefits of sending him earlier, despite my wishes. 

Because in the end, the best decision you can make is whatever is best for the child. Always. 

Cover Photo: Mallory Wilcox

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Where We Draw the Line With Extracurriculars

My oldest is 5 years old and we are already deep in the trenches of managing extracurriculars. It’s mind-boggling that we would even be at this phase of life already when she’s only in kindergarten. Yet she comes home roughly every six weeks with a new flyer from our Recreation District about soccer signs up, t-ball the next time, and basketball the month after. And the discussion between friends always starts at school, “Are you playing soccer this year? I am, I want you to be on my team!”

While I am very impressed with our Rec District and happy they are providing these opportunities for our community, I’m also an overwhelmed parent that can’t keep up with practices and games and everything else that comes with each sport! So, we don’t. 

When do we finally call it quits? 

Well, there are a lot of factors to consider. I love Mary’s perspective on this topic. I’d also like to add that we live in a very small community and participating in extracurriculars and spending Saturdays on the soccer fields is a huge community event where we all know one another and have time to socialize. This factor plays in when making a decision! 

But my biggest selling point for this decision-making process is time for free play. Are my kids coming home from school, rushing to change clothes and eat a snack, just to get back in the car and head to soccer practice? Once in a while, that’s fine! One night a week we live this way so we can make it to a tumbling class, and it’s an overall benefit to our whole family. But the rest of the week they come home, have some downtime by themselves or with screens, and then spend the rest of the evening deep in play, sometimes inside, sometimes outside. Sometimes we involve friends and neighbors, sometimes we don’t! 

But play is the real work of childhood, not basketball. Not choir practice. So when all of these extracurricular activities start interfering with playtime, that’s where and when the line is drawn in our family. 

It’s always a tricky road to navigate, though! How do you decide which extracurriculars and how many your child can and will be involved in? 

Other helpful posts:

Are Extra Curriculars Helping or Harming?
Thoughts On Kid’s Extracurriculars
Why You Shouldn’t Feel Bad About Canceling Extracurriculars #TeacherMom
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Our Distance Learning Experience

I think everyone can agree that the winter of 2022-23 was full of sickness, sickness, and more sickness. This was unfortunately all too true for our family as well, even more since we moved to a new city this year. New cities and new schools mean new germs and lots of sicknesses! 

From Labor day until Christmas, we were getting hit with one big thing after the next with no breaks in between. Our immune systems needed a break! Desperately! How many more doctors and hospital visits could we realistically take on before we needed to draw the line? 

Over Christmas break, we spent a lot of time discussing with our doctor and with each other the best steps moving forward, and ultimately what we knew was best would be pulling my oldest from kindergarten and homeschooling for a time. 

It was not a decision we took lightly. This would be a huge decision that could have an effect on her for quite a while. 

On Tuesday morning after Christmas break was over and everyone went back to school, we spent the day on the phone with her teacher, principal, and superintendent. Ultimately, the biggest question was, “Is this temporary, or for the rest of the school year?” 

With our specific situation, it needed to be temporary. She is not the type of child that would thrive in a homeschooled situation because her social needs are more than I can ever provide her while homeschooling. 

Because we chose to make this temporary, we needed to figure out the best way to move forward, whether we would unenroll her from school and then re-enroll when she came back, or how we would handle it. 

But we ended up being very fortunate that as a result of the 2020 Covid shutdowns, distance learning is still an option, but this is the last year they are allowing it in our district. So a distance learner she became! 

When schools shut down in 2020, I, fortunately, did not have a child old enough to be in school and did not have to take on the burden of distance learning. However, we’re getting the full effect now! We now have packets of papers to do with her, books to read, activities to work on, and more. 

It’s been fun to have her home each day and it’s been fun to hone in on my inner teaching skills to help her understand new concepts. I’ve loved being more involved with her learning to read and we’ve adapted a lot of the worksheets to be more hands-on and interactive, which I know is a huge privilege we have while doing work one-on-one instead of in a classroom of 25 students. 

But at the end of the day, she is one of the most extroverted humans I know (okay maybe she’s second to me), and a public school situation is somewhere she thrives, there’s no denying it. Even her teacher and her principal would agree! 

We have loved this learning experience of having her home, but we’re still counting down the days until she gets to go back and spend the day at school with all of her friends and various teachers that help in the school. 

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The Different Ways We Learn

Sight words are such a buzzword in our household right now. And if you’ve had a kindergartener before, you know exactly what I’m talking about. 

Each day my daughter comes home with new worksheets, readers, and other various activities that have to do with sight words. Her teacher also sends her home with a new set of sight words to play with and master from home each week. We’ve had a lot of fun learning these words through the games and activities we’ve come up with together. 

The way I tend to learn best is repetition, repetition, repetition. If I read the words over and over, say it, spell it, rush through them on flashcards again and again, and then I will never forget the words. My mind has to see the word, deconstruct the word, put the word together again, and then it’s set in there forever. 

Because this is how my mind works best, this was the basis for a lot of the activities I chose to do with my daughter. The more exposure, the better! We were doing so much repetition of the words that I was surprised and frustrated when I started realizing that what we were doing wasn’t sticking. When quizzed on the words, she wasn’t able to recall what the words were. 

To be honest, it made me feel like a failure. I have all of this background in teaching and I can’t even figure out how to teach my own child some sight words. 

One night, my husband lovingly stepped in. He took out the sight word flashcards and they started making sentences together using only sight words. They would make a sentence, read it, and then create a new sentence, repeating the process over and over. Eventually, they pulled out the sticky notes and added CVC words like cat and dad. They spent about ten minutes doing this activity and while they were having fun and bonding, I was doubting his ability to get anything to stick beyond their current work. But nevertheless, I let them have their time. 

The next evening we pulled out our sight word Jenga game, and immediately I was shocked. She knew the words! All of them! We had done so many different activities and nothing was working, but suddenly in one day, it all clicked for her. 

I approached my husband about it afterward and he told me he was playing a word game with her in a way that he would learn the new words best. By application. By seeing them as a part of a sentence and reading them together with other words. 

In my mind, this made no sense. How can she even read the words if she hasn’t spent the time memorizing them beforehand? 

But in both of their minds, the path using real-life applications worked. I was trying to lead her down my own road of rote memorization for learning, while she desperately needed real-life application.

The concept that everyone learns in different ways is something I know and was taught how to work with during my undergrad. But when it came to my own child, I just assumed her mind worked the same way mine did. I was giving her varying activities to do, but the process for all of them was the same. Repeat the words over and over and over until eventually, you memorize them. 

After my revelation, I started catering to her learning style better. 

We continually made up sentences with sight words. We read books filled with sight words. We even wrote our own book using sight words! Anytime we were looking at words and sentences on cereal boxes, in grocery stores, etc., we pointed out the sight words and read them together. 

More application. Less rote memorization. 

It was a great, simple reminder that all minds have different systems and routes for learning. Yes, even our own offspring sometimes. 

And if we can take some time to figure out each individual mind and the route they personally need to take when they are struggling to grasp a concept, it can make all the difference in the world to them. It may even turn them into a little, tiny reader. 

Photo by James Wheeler

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Can A Worksheet Do That? Teaching Social Studies in a Hands-On Way

We recently made the decision to pull my daughter from school and do “distance learning” for a short time because we had a new virus or sickness in our home every week and it wasn’t sustainable anymore (more on that story to come later). 

Luckily, the school was able to work with us to make her a “distance learner” because of Covid protocols still in place, instead of unenrolling and re-enrolling her when she’s ready to head back. 

She is in kindergarten, so the workload is fairly easy and somewhat hands-on. However, one worksheet for social studies looked like this: 

Photo: A group of neighbors with adults and children standing around, laughing, and talking. Food is being exchanged. 

Text on photo: Talk About It: Essential Question. Who are your neighbors? 

Text: Talk about how these people are being good neighbors. Draw and write about one way you can be a good neighbor. 

Writing prompt: I can be a good neighbor by 

I am sure this worksheet sparks great conversations in classrooms and it gives the students a chance to draw and write about what they’re talking about. 

The only requirement for my daughter was to do everything this page said. Talk about it, write about it, and draw a picture. Then she would have been done with the assignment and moved on. 

But what did she learn from that interaction? 

Are we really learning social studies with this worksheet, or are we learning conversation skills, writing, and drawing? 

How can we do this… better? 

We started with a picture book.

Good Morning Neighbor by Davide Cali and Maria Dek 

I highly recommend keeping this one in your personal library, it’s a good one with many applications. 

After reading the book, the discussion started.

Who are our neighbors? What nice things have they done for us? What nice things have we done for them? Why is it important to be a good neighbor? 

And then we took it one step further, what can we do for one of our neighbors today?

This led us to making and delivering dinner and cookies for a neighbor that we knew was sick. We also stopped next door to an elderly widow and chatted with her for a while, asking her if she needed anything. On our way out, we quickly shoveled her driveway and cleared her car of snow and ice. 

On our walk home, we noticed that another neighbor near us had some rugs left outside on their doorstep that had blown into the yard from the high winds. We spent a few minutes gathering them up and stacking them on the doorstep since they were not home to take them inside. 

Once we were finally home, we pulled out the worksheet, and my daughter felt like she was ready to write a whole paper on ways she could be a good neighbor. She wanted to give the full story of everything we accomplished in our afternoon of service. Instead, we settled on a simple few-word sentence, and then she was able to tell her teacher the whole story the next time we went into the school to bring back her finished schoolwork. 

Looking at it overall, how much would she have taken away if we would have had the discussion and written the sentence? She would have practice in writing, that’s for sure. But the whole point was to focus on social studies. What did she take away from a social studies standpoint? 

She would probably know that she needs to be a good neighbor. And maybe have some ideas on how she can be that will stick around in her mind for a few weeks, maybe up to a month. Nothing would stick around long-term. 

But after spending an hour serving our own neighbors, the lesson will engrain itself in her mind more than a light discussion and sentence writing ever would. 

Now I know delivering dinner and sitting down to an afternoon chat with everyone’s neighbor isn’t doable in a full classroom. So what can we do in a classroom of 25+ students to give them a similar experience? 

Talk about neighbors within the classroom. Our neighbors in a classroom are our friends sitting by us, but all together, we are a full community. Discuss ways we can be a good neighbor within our own classroom. 

Give them opportunities to draw pictures or notes for their neighbors. Maybe create crafts or pick treats for their neighbors. Let them practice helping their neighbor when zipping up coats to go outside, or picking up trash around their desk during messy play. 

If you’re creating an uplifting, teamwork environment in the small community of your classroom, it will eventually translate itself into their daily life and show in small ways around the school and in their neighborhoods.

Can filling out a worksheet accomplish that? 

Photo by Katerina Holmes

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Anna Crabb- Advocacy For Childhood

This post is part of a series where we interview real educators and tell their direct stories. All words are their own. You can see the entire series here. 

“My degree is in human development, but I knew I wanted to be in education. I was hesitant to go down the education route because there were some things in public schools that I didn’t enjoy as a child. So I ultimately decided not to get an education degree, but hoped somehow, some way I could still be involved in education, but I truly did not know what that would look like.”

“My first glimpse into alternative education was Montessori. I had randomly heard about it and looked up jobs while I was still in undergrad and ended up finding somewhere that was hiring. I was loosely trained by the owner and I loved it, so I dove really deep into the Montessori world for a few years and finished my degree in human development. I thought I was going to go full-blown Montessori, but then we moved and I didn’t like any of the Montessori schools in our new area. They seemed too aggressive and rigid.”

“I stumbled on an ad for an alternative education school opening up in the fall that was still looking for guides, so I applied and got the job. I ended up using Montessori a lot there, but they wanted me to also keep it more open-ended. I worked there for a year and started their early childhood center, which was a pivotal experience for the school I eventually opened myself.”

“We moved again and I was very much missing teaching. When it came time for my oldest to start school, I could not find a school that felt like my style. It felt like the only thing they were talking about and advocating for was kindergarten readiness, they weren’t talking about anything else other than kindergarten readiness, and it felt very braggy, like, “look how fast we can get your kids to read!” and, “look how fast we can get your kids to count to twenty!”

“That just says to me that they don’t see or appreciate or value childhood. What pushed me over the edge was when I watched a documentary that was all about how education can look different. After that, I had a whole moment where I thought, “I have to start a school! I have to do this myself!”

“I had nine months to get my school ready, so I just dove right in. I ended up combining my experience with Montessori and the curriculum of a previous school I was working at, as well as some training I had started with Reggio Emilia. I’ve blended all of these resources as well as my background in human development to give my school its foundation.” 

“The beauty of it is in the environment. It’s in the way I set up the space. It’s all free choice and child-directed, there is minimal direct teacher instruction. That enables them to work at their own pace and choose to work on things that they’re interested in, and allows me to float around and help as needed. All of the materials are child-directed with a control of error built in so they can teach themselves. There is a clear right or wrong and they don’t need me to tell them, which is nice because then they don’t develop that dependency on another person to tell them if they’re good or not, they can have their own experience. It’s this personal, intrinsic experience versus a co-dependency on other people to validate them.”

“It’s definitely a lot of trusting the process and if they’re really into one thing for many weeks and they don’t even touch math, you let them do that and trust that eventually you can integrate those math scenarios into real-life situations so they can see how that skill might benefit them. They work with these materials independently and they might work with me, and I give them these real-life experiences to help them get excited about learning whatever skill they need to learn. Or maybe I would work in small groups as well to help give them the social keys needed. It is fluid, it’s child-directed, it’s play-based, and it’s all hands-on.”

“It really does come from this place where I want to advocate for kids. Now that I’m in this space I can never go back. Whenever I see things that are common in other schools that are dismissive of childhood, I want to fight for them and fight for the kids, the parents, and the teachers. I just want to tell them, “It doesn’t have to be this way! It can be easier,  happier, and more natural, and the kids can actually enjoy learning!” That really is the underlying theme of all of it- advocacy for childhood.”

A day in the life at Stoneybrook Hollow
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To the Parents Newly Entering the School System: You’ve Got This

I spent many years going to school to become a teacher. More specifically, a public school teacher. I wasn’t opposed to private or charter schools, but I did feel more of a draw for public schools. Maybe because that was my school experience, so that’s what I felt the most comfortable with? 

During my undergrad, I was able to spend time in around 5 different public schools and 1 public charter school in the Cache Valley, Utah area. It gave me a good look into the amazing, the good, the bad, and the ugly of our public school systems. 

When it came time to register my oldest for kindergarten, I was excited for her to start in a public school that I felt so drawn to! (For the record, I was open to her attending private or charter, but it’s not a feasible option in our current location.) We walked into the halls of the school on a mid-May day and could hear students practicing songs for their end-of-the-year program. We could physically feel the spring itch everyone had, ready for school to be out for the year so that summer vacation could officially commence. It made me so excited! We took the registration papers from the front desk, filled them out, and received all of the information we needed to know about the first day of school in the fall. 

The summer went on with constant excitement and conversation about starting school. I realized that as the day came closer and closer, the more nervous I felt. I tried not to let this show to my daughter, she was just one giant ball of excitement, and I knew if my nerves were showing, she would take them on herself, and that was something neither of us needed. 

Our school allowed parents to request teachers, but we were new to this town we were in and didn’t even have anyone we could ask for their opinions on which teacher to request! I assumed all four kindergarten teachers were probably amazing because it really takes an amazing human being to choose the profession of a kinder teacher. But when it came down to it, the reason I had so much anxiety about sending my daughter to school was the amount of control I had to give up as a parent. 

I’ve tried really hard not to be a helicopter mom to my kids and allow them as much independence as possible, which can sometimes be hard to do when you just want what’s best, easiest, and safest for your kids! However, research article after research article will tell you how important it is for children to have independence, opportunities for decision-making, and even moments of failure or risk. 

What ended up being the hard part for me was the fact that I had complete control over who was taking care of my children at any given time in their lives. Anytime we had babysitters, extra help with our kids, had to leave them overnight for something, or even just child care during work hours, I was always able to have a very large choice in the matter. When we chose a daycare for our kids, I took the time to tour and interview various daycares near us to choose which one I felt most comfortable sending my kids to. 

When it came time for my oldest to start public school, it wasn’t a matter of “tour various locations and interview many people to make the best possible decision.” It was a matter of, “This is where the boundaries say your child should go to school, so this is where you will go. Furthermore, we will assign teachers to the students.” 

Okay, it wasn’t that harsh. A lot of school districts will allow you to change schools and/or districts if you go through all of the right steps and paperwork. And they did allow requests for teachers. 

But in a large way, I really did feel like I was giving up so much of my voice and control over who my child spends time with and what she is exposed to all day every day by sending her to public school. It was daunting and anxiety-inducing. 

However, we are almost three months into it, and I’m realizing that it’s okay. 

It’s okay for her to be around a good diversity of safe adults within a public school. 

It’s okay for her to choose who to play with at recess. 

It’s okay for her to choose not to eat her lunch sometimes. 

It’s okay for her to grow and develop a relationship with her teacher, even if I didn’t handpick that teacher. 

So to all you parents that are new to any school system. Yes, even those that homeschooled for years and years and made the jump out of homeschooling and into public, private, or charter school. 

I see you. 

It’s hard and overwhelming to make this huge adjustment to your life. It’s overwhelming how many decisions are being made that you just cannot be a part of. It can be fearful to wonder what happens in those school hallways for all of those hours that you’re not there with your child, especially if you’ve been accustomed to staying home all day or most of the day with them. 

But it’s also so, so good. For both of you. And it’s okay for both feelings to exist at the same time. You’ve got this. 

Photo by Vlad Vasnetsov