Teaching Empathy in School

teaching empathy in schools

A big change in the school’s curriculum over the last ten years is adding in the process of teaching empathy to kids. While some parents and teachers believe it’s a waste of time in the day, others have seen the positive effects of taking that time out of their day to explicitly teach how to be empathetic to their students. 

This YouTube video is a pretty well-known video, as it’s been out for a few years. However, I think it’s a great reminder no matter how many times you’ve watched it! 

I noticed firsthand how well modeling empathy works as I watched my 4-year-old daughter sit on the steps with her crying friend. She placed her hand on her friend’s shoulder, sat in the sound of her cries for a time, and eventually said, “This made you really sad, I am here for you.” 

My four-year-old had just displayed better empathetic skills than I ever have and I was blown away! But upon pondering why she was so incredible at handling the situation at such a young age, I came to the conclusion that she has an army of great examples all around her teaching empathy, being myself, her grandparents, her teachers, and more! 

After this encounter with my daughter, it really made me stand on the side of teaching empathy in schools and how important it can look. Because what would have been the alternative to her not showing empathy? Her friend would have been crying on the stairs and my daughter would have reacted in a way that included saying things like, “Stop crying, it’s time to play!” or, “Sorry you’re sad, that sucks for you.” and it would have dismissed her friend’s feelings, causing more sadness and hurt. But instead, she recognized the feelings in her friend and sat in sadness with her for as long as it took. 

I can’t see why the alternative would have been a better way for her to react than using her skills to show empathy would have been. So, yes. I do stand on the side of teaching empathy in schools. And yes, it will take more time and effort on everyone’s part. But what results would come from it? In extreme cases, it can save a life. 

What are your thoughts on teaching empathy in schools? 

Lessons from filming our bike ride to the library #TeacherMom

I recently decided to film our weekly bike ride to the library. My 8 year-old was out of school for the holiday, so she is featured in the video as my boys were behind me in our trailer. Conscious of the need for others to gain insight on what it’s like to take another form of transportation, I shared this with my local community.

The overall response was positive and encouraging. But perhaps because my daughter was the only one of the four of us visible in the video, I was surprised to find that much of the conversation rested on her. I know now there were a lot of raised eyebrows at the sight of “this young girl biking in town.”

As usual, my reflections have brought me here. I’ve been thinking about some of the lessons through this experience, especially concerning how we view what kids are capable of.

#1: Sometimes, shielding kids from one risk leads to other dangers

When one person expressed fear at the sight of what they viewed to be such a risk, I responded by explaining our biking experience and how I know my daughter’s familiarity with the rules and her capacity to follow them.

I went on to explain that riding our bikes is a way to integrate physical activity into our day, which helps address serious risks associated with inactivity like heart disease and depression (noting also that the rising generation is the first projected to have a shorter lifespan than the previous generation for this reason). Of course, riding in traffic is scarier and we do avoid it when possible (and we work to advocate for better infrastructure that makes biking more comfortable for families).

We need to be careful not to shield kids so thoroughly from one risk that we open them up to others that are just as, if not more, threatening.

#2: One person’s “brave” is another person’s normal 

back when she was young enough for the seat! Baby brother snugly tucked in the baby carrier.

A very common response was, “Wow, you guys are so brave!” While I am very proud of my daughter for riding, I know that this is less about courage and more about capacity and experience. She has been riding with me since she she was just a year old; this is our normal. Which is the point. We want to normalize an active lifestyle so she can carry habits into her future that will allow her to have a high quality life.

Focusing on how brave something looks can detract from how doable it really is. That’s not to say it doesn’t require courage to start, but we can be emboldened in knowing we are not alone!

#3: We shouldn’t focus so much on what needs improvement that it intimidates people from joining in 

Even when I was editing the video and adding music, I was mindful to try achieve a delicate balance between conveying what we love about our active lifestyle and ways we can make it safer. I didn’t want it to seem so upbeat that it made people think there aren’t any issues to address, but I didn’t want to be so serious that it scares people away.

To me, all this comes back to the classroom in so many ways. I feel like Sam Sherratt captured it nicely in his recent tweet on learning from Reggio Emilia teachers:

When they are given the support they need, kids truly are capable of so much! We can encourage them to be knowledgeable risk-takers. We can help normalize positive habits. We can acknowledge and work on issues without allowing them to keep us away. All of this requires a lot of work, imagination, and letting go, but ultimately, it is our children and students who benefit from being empowered to take care of themselves and live life to the fullest.

featured image: DeathToTheStockPhoto