Discovering Our Child Was a Sensory Seeker Did Nothing But Positivley Impact Him and Our Family

My son is currently 3.5 years old. From the time he was born, I knew there was something going on that I just couldn’t put my finger on. Was it autism? A learning disability? But how can you even diagnose that at such a young age? You cannot! 

As he got older we discovered his love for music. No… not love. Obsession. 

Spending time outside digging in the dirt wasn’t just our routine, but our essential routine. 

We quickly started acquiring more and more supplies in our house such as swings, slides, crash pads, soft mats, and more. 

At 2 years old our doctor finally gave us the term sensory seeker and suddenly our lives started making more sense! 

When I started my research on a sensory seeker kiddo in a classroom, I found information on adaptive seating in classrooms. And OT time outside of the classroom. Teachers offering pencil toppers for chewing and small, quiet sensory toys to keep inside of their desks. 

But the biggest turning point for our family was when I discovered this little golden nugget of wisdom-

“Learning cannot and will not happen unless all sensory needs have been met.” 

Take out learning and swap it with any verb needed- Eating. Sleeping. Listening. Participating. Reading. Independent play. It all applies. 

Once I started learning more about the different senses in our body, touch, taste, sight, feel, hearing, vestibular, and proprioceptive, and the needs that come with each of them, it started making more sense to us. We were realizing that a lot of the behaviors we were shutting down and trying to stop were actually just him craving the sensory input his body was seeking. Now instead of dismissing his sensory needs, we’ve fully embraced them and used them to our advantage, too! 

Since then, he’s been eating better, sleeping better, playing better, and learning so much more. 

It’s fascinating what we can learn about our children in the way they learn and think and develop! And it’s even more fascinating to see what develops when we allow them the space to do so on their own terms, and not ours. 

We still have a long way to go on this journey for him and for us, and I’m very curious to see how it plays out with school and around peers someday. But for now, we’re loving and embracing this information. 

“Where’s The Mom?”

We live across the street from our local post office. It’s amazing. 

My oldest child (5 years old) is the type of kid that absolutely needs her independence. She thrives when given opportunities to do things by herself. 

Recently I’ve had several packages to ship off to friends and family, and getting to the post office with three kids in tow can be extremely challenging, even if it’s right across the street! 

So I let my 5-year-old take another independent leap by sending her on the errand for me, by herself. 

With the package addressed and ready to ship, she walks across the street alone, $5 tucked safely in her purse to pay the shipping fees.

She’s been on enough errands with me that she knows what to do. She knows how to wait in line and ask for help at the counter when it’s her turn. She’s pretty good at exchanging money and keeping receipts safe for the travels back home. 

The first time I sent her I watched out of our family room window for the entirety of her visit, just to make sure everything was okay. But as time went on, I trusted her more and more with her abilities and didn’t pace by the window waiting to watch her walk back home. 

One day after coming home from her post office errand, she told me the lady working at the counter asked her where her mom was. I asked my daughter what her response was and she said, “I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything.”

It got me thinking, what would the correct response be? 

Her mom was right next door. 

Her mom was observing from afar.

Her mom was teaching valuable life lessons. 

Her mom was providing an opportunity for independence. 

Her mom was showing a high level of trust not only for her daughter but also for the postal workers and other patrons in the building. 

I don’t think the worker meant any malice when asking the question. I’m certain after assessing the situation, she realized my daughter was there to run an errand for me and was in no way distressed or neglected. It takes a village to raise a child and our sweet postal worker was only making sure my daughter was okay. 

But we’ve also transitioned into a more stressed and scared society, causing us to be wearier of letting our young kids do things for themselves. 50 years ago no one would have thought to even question her. This pushes me to allocate opportunities for my children to find independence throughout their young lives so that they can grow up to be contributing members of our society. 

By sending them on errands by themselves, within a reasonable distance from our home.

By letting them go into the library alone to return and check out books while I wait outside. 

By picking out and buying their own ingredients and supplies at the grocery store for the cupcakes they’ve been wanting to make. 

“Independence is not a static condition; it is a continuous conquest, and in order to reach not only freedom, but also strength, and the perfecting on one’s powers, it is necessary to follow this path of unremitting toil.”  

-Maria Montessori

Photo by Matheus Bertelli

Real Life Risky Play

On a fall afternoon, I was outside supervising a group of neighborhood kids playing in my yard and neighboring yards. I am a big fan of risky play, so watching them scale apple trees and climb up our rope swing was bringing me so much joy! (And yes, some anxiety. But I do trust them and their ability to know when it’s too much for their body.) 

At one point they found a ladder lying on the ground that they worked together to prop up onto a stump in the yard- yay for teamwork! They were using this ramp to climb up and down and hang on and jump off of it, it was great to watch. However, upon closer inspection, I realized that right under the propped-up ladder were several 2×4 boards that were full of rusty screws and nails. 

Instantly their risky play turned to dangerous play. 

I was able to take a second to gather my thoughts and plan my next move, how I reacted could drastically change the outcome of their work. 

There was danger, but nothing was immediate. Courses needed to be changed, but it wasn’t a life-or-death situation at the moment that I needed to swoop in right away. 

I offered them some awareness of the situation,
“Hey guys, let’s look around really quick. What do you see on the ground? Boards with nails in them? Yeah, that can be dangerous if we fall on them! What can we do to make this a little safer?” 

Their first solution was to move the boards away from where they were playing, but with the number of children and only myself there to supervise them, I didn’t feel like this would be a safe option to make sure all of the boards were picked up and moved without a nail going through someone’s hand or foot, so I had to tell them we needed to find a new option. 

After some more deliberation, they decided to work together to pick up the ladder and move it to a different area to prop up and play on again. After moving it, the ladder was taller and in a more risky position to play on, but the danger of it was gone because it was a safer landing than the alternative. 

They played with their setup for hours and hours with no incident! And maybe they would have played in their first location for that long with no harm to anyone either, but the danger there was not something I could ignore. 

Risky play is important and good and needed, but as a caregiver, it’s my job to determine when risky play turns into dangerous play.

There was so much learning in this situation, both for the children, and myself! I am not perfect and every situation isn’t handled this well every time. But with practice and time, I’ve learned more and more how to differentiate between risky and dangerous play and the best way to approach the changes we need to make in order to keep everyone safe, while still giving them opportunities to learn through risk. 

Other helpful articles on risky play: 

Risk Vs. Reward: Risky Play for Children

When Does Risky Play Become Dangerous Play? How to Find the Balance

If We Can’t Say Be Careful, What Do We Say?

Secrets of the Apple Tree

girl climbing apple tree picks fruit

I’ve been on this Earth for many years now,
Long enough to witness the different stages of life, multiple times.

The one I’m perpetually drawn to is childhood. 
The innocence of a child is unlike any other
Because they pick and climb and run and scream
All without a single worry about what tomorrow brings.

Always running.
Always climbing.
Always wondering.
Always growing. 

It doesn’t matter the time, the decade, or the season,
I’ve discovered one constant truth-
That children need movement and play and risk. 
They are drawn to me for that exact reason.

The constant I am in their lives, 
And have been in the past for others,
And will continue to be in the future 
To those that wander in. 

For I am the apple tree
That has nourished bellies
And held strong for endless climbing. 
My leaves provide them with shade 
And my branches hold them sublimely. 

As the years go on, 
As children grow,
I know they will lose interest with time.
But I worry not. 

The next generation will come
And pick and climb and run and scream.
All without a single worry about what tomorrow brings.
For there is a gravitational pull that an apple tree yields.

Risk and reward.  
Peace and tranquility. 
Havoc and uncertainty. 

We truly were created for one another,
The child and the apple tree. 

Photo by Zen Chung

The Different Ways We Learn

Sight words are such a buzzword in our household right now. And if you’ve had a kindergartener before, you know exactly what I’m talking about. 

Each day my daughter comes home with new worksheets, readers, and other various activities that have to do with sight words. Her teacher also sends her home with a new set of sight words to play with and master from home each week. We’ve had a lot of fun learning these words through the games and activities we’ve come up with together

The way I tend to learn best is repetition, repetition, repetition. If I read the words over and over, say it, spell it, rush through them on flashcards again and again, and then I will never forget the words. My mind has to see the word, deconstruct the word, put the word together again, and then it’s set in there forever. 

Because this is how my mind works best, this was the basis for a lot of the activities I chose to do with my daughter. The more exposure, the better! We were doing so much repetition of the words that I was surprised and frustrated when I started realizing that what we were doing wasn’t sticking. When quizzed on the words, she wasn’t able to recall what the words were. 

To be honest, it made me feel like a failure. I have all of this background in teaching and I can’t even figure out how to teach my own child some sight words. 

One night, my husband lovingly stepped in. He took out the sight word flashcards and they started making sentences together using only sight words. They would make a sentence, read it, and then create a new sentence, repeating the process over and over. Eventually, they pulled out the sticky notes and added CVC words like cat and dad. They spent about ten minutes doing this activity and while they were having fun and bonding, I was doubting his ability to get anything to stick beyond their current work. But nevertheless, I let them have their time. 

The next evening we pulled out our sight word Jenga game, and immediately I was shocked. She knew the words! All of them! We had done so many different activities and nothing was working, but suddenly in one day, it all clicked for her. 

I approached my husband about it afterward and he told me he was playing a word game with her in a way that he would learn the new words best. By application. By seeing them as a part of a sentence and reading them together with other words. 

In my mind, this made no sense. How can she even read the words if she hasn’t spent the time memorizing them beforehand? 

But in both of their minds, the path using real-life applications worked. I was trying to lead her down my own road of rote memorization for learning, while she desperately needed real-life application.

The concept that everyone learns in different ways is something I know and was taught how to work with during my undergrad. But when it came to my own child, I just assumed her mind worked the same way mine did. I was giving her varying activities to do, but the process for all of them was the same. Repeat the words over and over and over until eventually, you memorize them. 

After my revelation, I started catering to her learning style better. 

We continually made up sentences with sight words. We read books filled with sight words. We even wrote our own book using sight words! Anytime we were looking at words and sentences on cereal boxes, in grocery stores, etc., we pointed out the sight words and read them together. 

More application. Less rote memorization. 

It was a great, simple reminder that all minds have different systems and routes for learning. Yes, even our own offspring sometimes. 

And if we can take some time to figure out each individual mind and the route they personally need to take when they are struggling to grasp a concept, it can make all the difference in the world to them. It may even turn them into a little, tiny reader. 

Photo by James Wheeler

To the Parents Newly Entering the School System: You’ve Got This

I spent many years going to school to become a teacher. More specifically, a public school teacher. I wasn’t opposed to private or charter schools, but I did feel more of a draw for public schools. Maybe because that was my school experience, so that’s what I felt the most comfortable with? 

During my undergrad, I was able to spend time in around 5 different public schools and 1 public charter school in the Cache Valley, Utah area. It gave me a good look into the amazing, the good, the bad, and the ugly of our public school systems. 

When it came time to register my oldest for kindergarten, I was excited for her to start in a public school that I felt so drawn to! (For the record, I was open to her attending private or charter, but it’s not a feasible option in our current location.) We walked into the halls of the school on a mid-May day and could hear students practicing songs for their end-of-the-year program. We could physically feel the spring itch everyone had, ready for school to be out for the year so that summer vacation could officially commence. It made me so excited! We took the registration papers from the front desk, filled them out, and received all of the information we needed to know about the first day of school in the fall. 

The summer went on with constant excitement and conversation about starting school. I realized that as the day came closer and closer, the more nervous I felt. I tried not to let this show to my daughter, she was just one giant ball of excitement, and I knew if my nerves were showing, she would take them on herself, and that was something neither of us needed. 

Our school allowed parents to request teachers, but we were new to this town we were in and didn’t even have anyone we could ask for their opinions on which teacher to request! I assumed all four kindergarten teachers were probably amazing because it really takes an amazing human being to choose the profession of a kinder teacher. But when it came down to it, the reason I had so much anxiety about sending my daughter to school was the amount of control I had to give up as a parent. 

I’ve tried really hard not to be a helicopter mom to my kids and allow them as much independence as possible, which can sometimes be hard to do when you just want what’s best, easiest, and safest for your kids! However, research article after research article will tell you how important it is for children to have independence, opportunities for decision-making, and even moments of failure or risk. 

What ended up being the hard part for me was the fact that I had complete control over who was taking care of my children at any given time in their lives. Anytime we had babysitters, extra help with our kids, had to leave them overnight for something, or even just child care during work hours, I was always able to have a very large choice in the matter. When we chose a daycare for our kids, I took the time to tour and interview various daycares near us to choose which one I felt most comfortable sending my kids to. 

When it came time for my oldest to start public school, it wasn’t a matter of “tour various locations and interview many people to make the best possible decision.” It was a matter of, “This is where the boundaries say your child should go to school, so this is where you will go. Furthermore, we will assign teachers to the students.” 

Okay, it wasn’t that harsh. A lot of school districts will allow you to change schools and/or districts if you go through all of the right steps and paperwork. And they did allow requests for teachers. 

But in a large way, I really did feel like I was giving up so much of my voice and control over who my child spends time with and what she is exposed to all day every day by sending her to public school. It was daunting and anxiety-inducing. 

However, we are almost three months into it, and I’m realizing that it’s okay. 

It’s okay for her to be around a good diversity of safe adults within a public school. 

It’s okay for her to choose who to play with at recess. 

It’s okay for her to choose not to eat her lunch sometimes. 

It’s okay for her to grow and develop a relationship with her teacher, even if I didn’t handpick that teacher. 

So to all you parents that are new to any school system. Yes, even those that homeschooled for years and years and made the jump out of homeschooling and into public, private, or charter school. 

I see you. 

It’s hard and overwhelming to make this huge adjustment to your life. It’s overwhelming how many decisions are being made that you just cannot be a part of. It can be fearful to wonder what happens in those school hallways for all of those hours that you’re not there with your child, especially if you’ve been accustomed to staying home all day or most of the day with them. 

But it’s also so, so good. For both of you. And it’s okay for both feelings to exist at the same time. You’ve got this. 

Photo by Vlad Vasnetsov

Sight Word Games For the Early Reader in Your Life

With my oldest in kindergarten this year, sight words have become a big part of our daily life. She’s practicing them at school and then we have a list at home that we can work on as well. And as I’ve written time and time again, “Play is a child’s work.” So we don’t just buzz through sight word flashcards as fast as we can, we use sight words in our play. Here are a few games we’ve come up with together to help along the way. 

Sight word board game: My daughter and I made this game together in a similar way to how you would play Candyland. There are two ways you can play it- make your own cards with sight words written on them to indicate where your next square is. Or, roll the dice, move forward that many spaces, and read the words as you move. For pieces, we use Bingo tokens, various board game pieces, or small toys. Yes, Skye and Chase help us play this game! If you know, you know!

Sight word Jenga: We bought a few of these tiny tumbling tower sets from Dollar Tree and wrote various sight words on them. Once we pull a brick out, we read the word, and once the tower has tumbled, we take turns making sentences with the words we pulled. We did multiple sets so we could add in more sight words as they learn them in class. I plan to do CVC and CVC-e words someday when she’s ready for that. 

Sight word sentence builder: I bought a pack of sight word flash cards for cheap on Amazon to save me the time and effort of making my own. We use these cards, plus a few index cards with words we decide to add, to create fun sentences. We also use our Jenga blocks for this as well! This one is my daughter’s favorite way to play with sight words! 

Sight word seek and find: For this, we use our sight word flashcards, or sometimes I’ll write them out on sticky notes and use those instead. One of us hides the sight words and then the other one finds them while reading out which word they found. Pictured here is your classic “hide it in the Christmas tree” move. The amount of random toys I pull out of our Christmas tree at the end of the holiday from various hide-and-seek games is unreal!

Sight word seek and find + builder: This game is a two-part game! I place sticky notes with letters throughout our family room, then she is required to find the letters and build the sight words out of the letters. This one took some scaffolding. In the beginning, it was just a letter here or there omitted in sight words that she had to find, but as she got better and better at it, she started spelling her own words with less prompting. 

Sight word hopscotch: This one can be as intricate or as easy as your time and energy allow. We’ve done this quickly outside with sidewalk chalk, quickly inside with our flashcards, or intricately with painter’s tape boxes taped out on the floor or full sheets of paper with the words written on them taped to the floor. SO many different ways to do this one! While jumping from square to square, we read the words. 

Sight word beanbag toss: This one is a simple one we like to do in addition to the other games we’ve been playing. I simply just lay the flashcards out on the floor and my daughter takes a beanbag (or a soft toy, stuffed animal, etc.), tosses it at a card, and if it’s touching the card she reads the word, then she is handed the card. If she doesn’t read the word correctly, she tries again!


Not only are these sight word games building awareness of words, but they are also utilizing fine and gross motor skills, moving around the room, and using, deconstructing, and building these words in ways they haven’t before. Learning sight words isn’t reading. It’s memorizing. And play is a child’s work, so in order to work through memorizing these words, they must play. 

What sight word games would you add to this list?