Category: Teaching Moments

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What I Wish I Would Have Known

It’s graduation season! It’s a bittersweet milestone, but is definitely one to be celebrated. I remember my graduation day, and remember feeling so anxious but excited. I had my whole life planned out, and I was just sure it was going to go exactly how I wanted it to: go to college with my best friend, find a good guy and get married by 23, graduate as a nurse, have some kids, and so on. Boy was I in for a surprise when my plans didn’t follow that timeline, nor did most of my plans actually happen. I went to a different college than my friend, switched majors from nursing to elementary education, back to nursing, then eventually got my degree in secondary education. I didn’t get married until I was 30, and the kids came soon after that. As I think back and reflect on how the last 23 years of my live have gone, I’m glad my original plans didn’t follow my timeline. I would have missed out on so many things that were crucial to me becoming who I am today. But man, sometimes I wish I could go back and tell my naive 18 year old self a thing or to to give her some advice and encouragement about the future.

I figured other people might feel the same way, and might have something to say to their 18 year old selves. I asked several people what they would tell themselves, if they knew then what they know now. The answers ranged from the silly and light hearted to the serious and profound. So seniors, this one’s for you– a little advice from people who have been there, done that, and want to pass on some words of wisdom!

  • Don’t rush growing up. You will never have it all figured out.
  • Trust your gut.
  • Travel more, work hard, don’t spend more than you earn, save, believe, and invest in yourself.
  • Every life event and breakup led me to my husband and life I have today, and I wouldn’t change that.
  • At 18, I didn’t know it would take me 10 more years to get married. Don’t worry about that.
  • Don’t open a credit card— save for what you want/need.
  • Love YOUR life. Don’t worry about what others say or do. Let them live the life they want. You choose you!
  • It’s okay to not know what you want to major in. It’s okay to switch majors— college is an investment. Make sure you are getting out of it what you want.
  • Not all friendships will last past graduation. That’s ok. There’s new friends out there.
  • You are worth it. You matter.
  • If college isn’t your thing, it’s ok. It doesn’t have to be. 
  • Spend time with those you love.
  • Never miss a chance to say thank you or I love you.
  • Take the risk— if it works out, awesome! If not, you learned from it and are better for it.
  • Make the effort to study and challenge yourself.
  • Advice given by others is second, learn to hear your own voice first and loudest.
  • It’s worth hanging around to see how the story ends.
  • The smart thing to do and the right thing to do are very rarely the same thing to do. But it never changes what the right thing to do is. Choose what is right. Always.
  • Take more pictures.
  • Always trust your instincts.
  • Apply for all the things! Enjoy everything!
  • Feeling dread all the time isn’t normal— it’s ok to get help if you need it.
  • Keep doing what makes yourself proud.
  • You’ll have so much more fun and peace if you don’t stress about dating. Don’t rush it!
  • Give yourself some grace.
  • You don’t have to have it all figured out at 18. The best is yet to come!
  • It’s ok to not know what you want.
  • Work on yourself— make yourself the kind of person you want to be.
  • Don’t be afraid. Go for it. If you fail, then try something else.
  • Try to save money.
  • Be smart with money.
  • Get the degree. Be able to support yourself.
  • If your friends are dragging you down, ditch them.
  • Don’t settle for less!
  • Be flexible— sometimes things don’t go the way you hoped they would, and you have to adapt and adjust. 
  • Look for the good in people.
  • Look for the good in every day. 
  • Be patient and the right partner will come when you are doing what you need to be doing.
  • Focus on figuring out what you want to do and work towards that goal.
  • Be gentle on yourself. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small.
  • You are doing amazing things.
  • You can do hard things.
  • Everyone you come across is fighting some kind of battle you know nothing about. Be kind.
  • Be patient with yourself and with others. We’re all doing the best we can.

Take a minute and reflect on your graduation day– what would you tell yourself?

Congratulations to the class of 2025! You did it!

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Teaching Kids About Courage

Trying new things is scary and hard sometimes! It doesn’t matter your age— the unknown can be intimidating. Picture books have a great way of teaching kids (and adults!) life lessons, including lessons about facing fears and having courage to try new things. While looking for some other books at the library the other day, I stumbled across a whole section of children’s books dedicated to this theme. 

So if you’re like me (or some of my kids) and need a reminder that sometimes being brave is scary, these books just might be for you! 

The Thing Lou Couldn’t Do by Ashley Spires

Lou is always up for big adventures with her friends… until they suggest that they play pirates up in a tree. Lou has never climbed a tree, and isn’t so sure about it. She finds all kinds of excuses to avoid climbing up to her friends, but when they all exclaim that the pirates need help, she knows she must give it a try. So she does, and she fails. After convincing herself that it’s not that she can’t climb the tree; it’s just that she doesn’t know how to yet. She decides that she will come back the next day and try again!

This story is perfect for talking to kids about being brave and trying again if it doesn’t work the first time. The illustrations are cute and well done.

The Magical Yet by Angela DiTerlizzi and illustrated by Lorena Alvarez

This book follows a young girl who just can’t seem to figure out how to ride a bike. She keeps trying, and keeps failing. She wants to give up… until the magical Yet shows up. With Yet, she can start to see that her dreams will come true, for Yet is a dreamer, maker, and one who finds a way. Yet is patient and encouraging when failures happen. Yet doesn’t give up! With Yet by her side, she learns to keep pushing forward and eventually gets to be where she wants to be.

This book is written in rhyme format, and is catchy and fun to read. The words flow well, and the illustrations are magical. It gives you the perfect dose of courage, knowing that your own personal Yet is right by your side as you try new things.

Jabari Jumps by Gaia Cornwall

Jabari, his dad, and little sister head to the pool. Jabari tells his dad that he is going to jump off the diving board today. His dad offers encouragement and cheers him on. As Jabari gets closer to the diving board, he realizes how high it really is. He begins to come up with excuses and reasons to not try. His dad gives him a pep talk and tells him to take a deep breath and tell himself he is ready. Jabari follows his dad’s advice and begins the climb up the ladder. He got to the edge of the board, took a deep breath, and told himself he felt ready. He took the leap and discovered it was really fun! The book ends with him telling his dad that he’ll do a double backflip next.

The pictures in this book are wonderful, and the story line is perfect for teaching kids about how to work up the courage to try something new.

Jabari Tries by Gaia Cornwall

Jabari is back, but this time, he is determined to make a little machine that can fly across his backyard. Everything he tries doesn’t work. He’s getting frustrated and wants to give up. When his dad comes and gives him a little pep talk, he tells Jabari to “gather up all his patience, take a deep breath, and blow away all the mixed feelings inside.” Together with his little sister as his helper, Jabari gets the courage to try again. He gives it one more try, and this time, it works! He is proud of himself for not giving up and for having the courage to finish what he started.

One of the most important lessons to learn as a child is to have courage and be brave. We’re all faced with tricky situations, but being brave can change everything. These picture books all do an excellent job of illustrating just that. These books would be great to read with a class at the beginning or end of the year as kids head into a new season and part of their life!

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A Letter to Sports Parents

Dear Sports Parents,

I promise you that the crazy, chaotic schedules are worth it. The nights you spend in your car, shuttling kids from one practice or game to another, they aren’t a waste of time. The time you spend away from your house, eating dinner on the run, is time well spent. It might not seem like it in the moment, but it is. Your kids may not seem grateful for the sacrifices you are making on their behalf, but one day they will understand. 

That loss that your son’s soccer game had the other night was tough, for sure. But it provided your son with experience, opportunity, and growth. It gave him a chance to practice being a good sport, learning from mistakes, and thinking about how he can improve. 

When your daughter made the drill team, but her best friends didn’t, it was a bittersweet moment for you both. It gave you a chance to talk about being proud of your accomplishments, but not rubbing it in people’s faces. It gave her an opportunity to practice empathy and kindness. 

When your daughter’s basketball team took state, you celebrated. You celebrated the long days/nights of practices, the time spent in the bleachers cheering her and her team on, and the growth you’ve seen in her as she’s played. You celebrated her win because you know it’s important to her, and you know how hard she’s worked for it. You celebrated that she was able to see her hard work pay off.

When your son didn’t make the football team, you cried with him after he found out. You told him how proud you were of him for giving it his best shot. You didn’t tell him that things were going to be okay and that he could always try next year. Instead, you let him feel what he felt, and allowed him to grieve what he didn’t get. You supported him and loved him and encouraged him. When he is ready to try again, he’ll let you know. Until then, you keep loving him and cheering him on in whatever he does. 

When all five of your kids wanted to sign up for sports, and they all overlapped, making your schedule a million times more hectic, you did it anyway. You’ll figure out the transportation and time issue later. For now, you’re giving them all a chance to try something out, take a risk, and learn from their experiences. You’re showing them that you believe in them.

You do all of this because you know the amazing benefits that come from kids being on a sports team. Sure, there are the physical benefits of movement, exercise, and strength. But on a less tangible note, the life skills they learn are innumerable. They learn things on the field, in the studio, or in the pool that can’t be taught as effectively in a classroom. Studies have shown that kids who participate in some kind of sports-related activity actually end up doing better academically. Sports give kids the opportunity to learn how to work as a team and how to be a good teammate. Kids learn about sportsmanship. They learn to support and cheer on their peers. They learn that winning isn’t everything. They become more confident. They learn what they are capable of, and how to push themselves beyond what they thought was possible. Sports allow kids to take risks and try new things. Friendships are formed, lessons learned, and new skills are gained. 

So yes, being a parent of a kid (or kids) in sports can be exhausting. It’s time consuming. It can be financially straining at times. But it’s so worth it. The effort you put forth in supporting them is never wasted, and will have lasting effects. So the next time you find yourself scarfing down a protein bar as you drive your son to practice, then race across town to pick your daughter up from her game, remember what you’re doing is important, and is totally worth the sacrifice.

Sincerely,

A fellow sports parent and former teacher

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Hard Skills vs. Soft Skills- Do Both Matter?

Schools are an excellent place for teaching important (some crucial), measurable skills like reading, math, science, other technical skills, and so on. These kinds of skills are called hard skills, and are pretty easy to track progress in— there are clear, definitive answers and methods to how these skills are learned and carried out. Other learned skills, however, don’t have answers and methods that are quite so cut and dry. These are referred to as soft skills— behavioral traits like leadership, time management, communication skills, critical thinking, and problem solving, among others. 

Should schools be responsible for teaching both kinds of skills? I think they already partially are. I believe that when you teach hard skills, the soft skills sometimes just naturally work their way into the teaching and learning. For example, if you are teaching a science concept, and students are put into groups to do an experiment, they will naturally be forced to use problem solving, team work, communication, and other soft skills. 

Soft skills are equally as important (if not more so in some situations) as hard skills are. In fact, many employers today tend to favor soft skill knowledge over hard skill knowledge. In a digital world where people are spending less time interacting face to face, employers today need people who can take responsibility, lead a team, communicate, and effectively solve problems. 

If employers are favoring soft skills over hard skills, then how do we as teachers ensure that we are providing opportunities for our students to learn these important soft skills that will aid them as they grow, progress, and eventually enter the adult world? Like was mentioned before, a lot of it stems from things that are already happening in our classrooms. So many of the activities and projects we ask students to take part in naturally lend themselves to teaching these crucial soft skills. Group work encourages communication and leadership. Reports and presentations give students a chance to practice leadership and communication skills. Word problems and other kinds of problems allow students to use critical thinking skills. Larger projects provide excellent lessons and chances to learn time management and organization skills. 

Soft skills can even be learned outside of the classroom, in places like home, church, or while doing a sport. Sports provide many valuable opportunities for soft skill attainment, and can teach those skills in ways unlike anything else. Parents can encourage their children to learn and practice soft skills within the walls of their homes by providing children with opportunities to lead family meetings, do chores, work as a team with siblings, or manage and balance their activities and time. Church groups can also provide great opportunities for kids to learn communication skills, leadership skills, and empathy.

While some children are seemingly born with natural soft skills, others need to be taught. As adults, we ought to do our best to encourage and teach the youth of today these soft skills that will greatly aid them in the coming years. Our future selves will thank us later.

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Homework?! Ugh! Is It Even Worth It?

I’ve seen a meme going around that says something along the lines of, “If you hated homework as a kid, you’ll hate it even more as a parent!” If you are a parent or caregiver of a school-aged kid, you may understand just how true that statement can be. You know what I’m talking about— the nagging your kid to get it done, the whining that ensues, the time management balancing act that happens. It can be a lot for some households. 

This struggle begs the question: is homework even worth it? If it is just one more thing to add to the list of things to do, is it even worth the time and energy it takes to get it done? Are students even benefitting from it?

The short answer is sometimes. The long answer is a bit more complicated and has a lot to do with what the assignment is and what skills a student is using or gaining by doing it. If the assignment is just filler work that doesn’t practice any skills learned beforehand in class, homework isn’t going to accomplish much, and will likely leave both the student and the parent frustrated. 

But… if the assigned homework truly is an extension of what was learned in class, employs useful skills, and isn’t just a time filler, homework can indeed have some benefits. Let’s explore some of them— and maybe I might convince a few nay-sayers that homework can be at least a little bit helpful.

Benefit #1: Additional Practice

Additional practice time can provide kids with the extra practice they need to really understand a concept. Sometimes all it takes for a kid to “get” it is a little additional time working on it. If they already understand a concept, extra practice never hurts, and can help solidify the knowledge in their mind. Reading homework is especially beneficial, as reading skills are something that will be used their entire lives and are always useful. It never hurts to improve!

Benefit #2: Less Stress

Doing work at home can often be less stressful for kids, as they are in their own environment where they (hopefully) feel safe. Usually at home, the time constraints aren’t as tight, thus providing kids with a less rushed experience. When they are able to slow down and really focus on what they are doing, they are able to work more effectively and, oftentimes, more accurately. For students who, for a myriad of reasons, don’t like to ask for help at school, doing work at home can help them to feel safer asking for help from a parent.

Benefit #3: Time management

Managing time can be a tricky skill for kids to learn. This can be especially true for younger kids, as their brains can’t quite comprehend time and scheduling things. They tend to look at the now rather than a few hours ahead, and don’t understand that if they do “fun” things first, they have to still fit in their homework, dinner time, and night time routine. 

Having homework can help them learn how to better manage their time. Parents can use it as a tool to teach their kids how to schedule their time effectively so that they have time to do all the things they want to do and need to do.

Benefit #4: Time with a parent or caregiver

Homework can open opportunities to allow kids and their adults to have time together. Sure, sometimes that time can be stressful, especially if homework is involved, but the time spent working one on one is never wasted. Oftentimes, parents know how to reach their kids better than the teachers do. This can help students to understand concepts in a new or different way. Parents can also provide useful tricks and tips that helped them in school. I still remember working with my mom and grandma to memorize all 50 state capitals in fourth grade— they came up with fun mnemonic devices to help me remember what I needed to— most of which I still remember today. They provided me with really helpful tools to accomplish what I needed to, and as an added bonus, I got extra time with my mom and grandma. It was a win all around!

While I know homework can be a divisive topic, with not everyone agreeing on its benefits, hopefully I’ve shed some light on the topic and have helped you see it in a different way, and maybe, just maybe, convinced you that homework isn’t totally useless!

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Letting Kids Fail

My third grader is given a weekly homework sheet, with one side math practice and the other reading practice. Sometimes the reading assignment is to read a passage and answer some comprehension questions, and sometimes it involves reading as much of a passage as possible in one minute, on four separate occasions, while having an adult follow along and count any errors made. The teacher sends the paper home on Monday, and it is due on Friday. With four days given to finish the assignment, you’d think it wouldn’t be a problem to complete it. 

By Thursday night, after my husband and I have both asked (and offered to sit down with him while he does it) our son what feels like 182 times to get his worksheet done, we are tired of asking and have started to feel like we are nagging him. One week last month, he dragged his feet, as usual, and was in a panic on Thursday night when he still hadn’t finished his assignment. Of course it was a week where he had to read a passage four different times, and we were running out of time. Around 10:00 pm, we finally just told him to go to bed and we could try again in the morning. 

Morning came, and he still had zero interest in finishing his work. Out of time and energy, I told him to put his paper in his backpack and just turn in what he did have done. We talked about who was responsible for the assignment being incomplete, and what he needed to do about it. He admitted it was on him, and that he should have done it when we first asked him to. I sent him out the door and hoped for the best.

The protective mom in me wanted to keep him home until he finished it so that he wouldn’t lose points on the assignment. How could I let my own child fail? He’s only nine, after all. As I battled internally for a few minutes, a little voice inside reminded me that failing is part of life. We all have to learn by failing at some point in our lives. Is it a hard lesson to learn? Absolutely. Is it a necessary lesson to learn? 100%. 

As a mom and former teacher, I know how hard it is hard to watch the kids you love fall short. It’s hard to watch them struggle. When our kids are younger, we are there to swoop in and fix things for them. We keep them in a little bubble of sorts to keep them safe and protected. But as they get older, we can’t continue to solve all their problems and keep them in a bubble. As parents (and teachers), it is our job to set up our children for success in life, and one of those crucial lessons to teach is that failure is inevitable, and that it’s okay to fall short sometimes. We must give them the tools they will need for when they do fail so that they can appropriately adjust and find ways to regroup, rethink, and try again. 

So while I wanted desperately to save my son from not getting full points on his homework assignment, I also wanted desperately to teach my son that our actions and choices very often determine our success, and that failure is part of life. I wanted him to know that it’s not the end of the world to mess up on one assignment, and that he could try again next week, learning from his previous experience. I wanted him to know that how we handle failure is important and how we choose to do better the next time is what matters the most. 

As parents and teachers, we’re faced with some pretty tough internal battles. We naturally want to protect the kids we love, but also need to remember that sometimes too much protection and sheltering ultimately doesn’t help, but hinders. We must find a balance between the two and hope we are giving our children and students what they’ll need to succeed in school and in life.