It’s wild to think that a new school year will be starting soon. Some have already started their new year! With the new year comes new teacher assignments, and a great opportunity to get to know those teachers!
As a teacher, I always appreciated when parents or students took the time to think of me— it was so nice to be acknowledged! Now, as a parent, I do my best to let my kids’ teachers know that I appreciate them and their hard work. Rather than just picking a random treat at the grocery store, I always like to know exactly what they like. I also like to make sure I get something they like, want, or need to avoid food allergies or purchasing something they don’t have use for.
When we go to back to school night, I often will take a little “welcome back to school” gift— a can of cleaning wipes, box of tissues, or something similar with a “getting to know you” survey attached. The survey can be filled out at the teacher’s convenience then sent home with your child.
I thought I’d share the survey I give to teachers so you can get to know the wonderful people who will be teaching your kids this coming year! Just click on the “Download” button below and print off a copy of the survey. I’ve included both a color and a black and white option to fit all printing needs.
**Printable is free, but please do not sell, re-post, or claim as your own.**
When considering individuals who receive SPED services, it’s important to note that not all disabilities are visible, and that disabilities come in all shapes and sizes. Another aspect to take into consideration is that people with disabilities can be any age. It doesn’t matter the age, gender, shape, or size of the disability: the fact of the matter is that people with disabilities have the right to be respected and treated fairly. When a student has an Individualized Education Plan (IEP), teachers are legally expected to uphold the terms of that plan, and are required to provide necessary accommodations for their students who have an IEP.
Today’s parent interview is with Bobbie, who has a son with an IEP who is in high school. He is an active, smart young man who has a learning disability. His disability isn’t physically visible, and many people do not even know that learning can be difficult for him. All of his teachers are made aware of his disability and are given a copy of the accommodations he is allowed to receive. Unfortunately, he has had a teacher who did not do their best to uphold the terms of his IEP, which led to frustration for both Bobbie and her son.
Please tell me a little about your child who is receiving Special\Education services. (Age, grade, etc.)
My child is 15 years old and will be a sophomore this school year. He received his IEP when he was 6 years old in first grade.
What kind of services does your child receive? (general education withpull out services for speech/math/reading, etc., behavior unit,mild-moderate life skills class, etc.)
My child is currently receiving his services in a co-taught general education math and ELA classroom. When he was in elementary school it was pull out services for reading and math.
What has been the most difficult thing about navigating the SPED worldin schools?
I feel that Elementary school teachers helped with IEPs way better than most secondary school teachers. Many of the secondary teachers, especially those who teach subjects like science and social studies do not follow a student’s IEP accommodations as well as they should. I even had a 9th grade science teacher attend the IEP, and he failed to follow the accommodation of hard copy of notes provided, because he said they could be downloaded from his website, but we were never able to find where to access, and his response was always “they are on my website.” His website was not organized in a way to find anything UNLESS you knew the exact title of his lesson. No dates were provided. This “accommodation” in his eyes was being met, but was met with a task that was far harder than just making the notes for my child. So I think the most difficult thing is getting secondary teachers to follow ALL of the accommodations needed, and to provide them in a way that makes their learning experience easier and not harder.
As a parent, what has been the most rewarding or positive thing aboutworking with SPED services in schools?
I have felt like my voice is heard in the meetings, and that my opinion to help my child matters. I feel like when I reach out to his SPED file holder, I get a response and help with my child.
How do you feel other students and teachers respond to and interactwith your child? Do you feel like there is a good amount ofinclusiveness at your child’s school?
Most people do not know that my child has an IEP. I do feel that some teachers do everything they can to help my child find success, but as mentioned above, there are some who do not make their educational needs easier, but rather make it harder for them to access the content. My child was able to maintain straight A’s in his classes, but it wasn’t from the help of his science teacher especially. He knew my child was reading 4 grade level below, and did nothing to help him.
As a parent, what are some ways you advocate for your child to makesure they are in the least restrictive environment and receiving theservices they need and deserve?
As a parent, I make sure that all of the teachers know that my child has an IEP and what accommodations have worked the very best for my child in the past. I let them know that I am available to meet, or talk with them to make sure that my child can learn best in their classrooms. I am also a teacher, so I understand and know how important communication with teachers are to ensure that my child’s needs are being met.
If you could tell one (or two or more) thing(s) to people who don’thave much experience with working with children with disabilities ofany kind and severity, what would you tell them?
Children with learning disabilities can do what their peers are doing with enough supports/ accommodations. They can also be students with straight A’s who work extremely hard to learn the content. They are kids who just want others to see them as they would see any other child. They have the ability to love others and to be amazing friends to those around them.
Thank you, Bobbie! I can only imagine how difficult it would be to have a teacher who didn’t do their best to accommodate the needs of students receiving SPED services. I’m impressed with her son’s determination and hard work to succeed despite the lack of help from a teacher. Way to go!
This post is part of a series of posts of interviews with parents who have a child who receives special education services. You can find previous posts here, here, and here.
So often when we think of special education, we only think about the individuals with the disability. In reality, however, there are many more people involved in the education and advocacy for these individuals. Part of that team includes the parents and caregivers of those with disabilities. For the past couple of weeks, I have been interviewing parents and sharing their experiences with the SPED system. You can find previous posts here and here.
Today’s post is from an interview with Marina, a former second grade teacher and mom to an adorable boy who has been diagnosed with Williams Syndrome. Let’s see what she has to say!
Please tell me a little about your child who is receiving Special Education services. (Age, grade, etc.)
K. just turned 5 and will be attending kindergarten in the fall. He has attended 2 years of SPED preschool in our district and was with early intervention before that.
What kind of services does your child receive? (general education with pull out services for speech/math/reading, etc., behavior unit, mild-moderate life skills class, etc.)
K. will be in the least restrictive special class for kindergarten. It is called a Core Integrated Class. It is full time with a special ed teacher, smaller class size, and 2-3 paraprofessionals. In addition to academic support he also receives speech therapy, occupational therapy, and physical therapy through the district during school.
What has been the most difficult thing about navigating the SPED world in schools?
The most difficult thing about navigating the SPED world in schools has been knowing the right questions to ask in order to receive the best services and make the best placement decisions. There is a lot of lingo in the SPED world that makes sense to those who work in it for their job but as a parent it has to be simplified and clarified which I have really had to ask for. The services are of course there but no one is a better advocate for your child than you are so it is crucial to ask all of the questions to stay informed of all of your options.
As a parent, what has been the most rewarding or positive thing about working with SPED services in schools?
The most rewarding part about working with various SPED services has been getting to watch the progress. I have been able to see how hard the whole team (teachers, aides, therapists, families) works together. Everyone celebrates the smallest progress and I truly believe that’s how the bigger goals are accomplished.
As a parent, what has been the most rewarding or positive thing about working with SPED services in schools?
Our experience so far has been nothing but amazing as far as teacher and student interactions. Teachers in other classes know who K. is and say hi to him often which makes his day. I wouldn’t say they haven’t been inclusive but I do think that is difficult at a preschool age. I am excited for him to experience more inclusivity this fall as that is one goal of the structure of his upcoming placement.
As a parent, what are some ways you advocate for your child to make sure they are in the least restrictive environment and receiving the services they need and deserve?
As a parent I recognize I am my child’s biggest advocate. I also recognize that there is a lot of emotion also tied to my child. I recently found a parent consultant and she helped be another set of eyes and ears. She was truly amazing. She and I met before the IEP meeting and discussed current goals, future goals, questions, concerns, and options. She attended the IEP meeting with me, took notes, and made sure I was feeling good about all of the decisions being made as well as got all of my questions answered. I involved myself as much as I could. Volunteered, helped with class parties, attended parent teacher conferences, asked for progress notes, worked on goals at home, etc. it is so much easier to advocate when you’re very involved.
If you could tell one (or two or more) thing(s) to people who don’t have much experience with working with children with disabilities of any kind and severity, what would you tell them?
Find someone you can trust that does have experience and ask questions. For teachers, aides, educators: have compassion and patience not only for the child but the parents and families. It can be really overwhelming trying to navigate the SPED world on top of everything else that comes with having a child with special needs. Be an advocate, challenge the student appropriately and celebrate the small wins daily. To the parents: If you don’t feel good about something, speak up. Ask to see the data and have the data explained to you in a way you understand. I would highly recommend seeing if there is a parent consultant/advocate in your area. They are on your team and a good person to lean on.
Thanks, Marina! I really appreciated her perspective, and loved that she was able to find a parent consultant to help her as she navigates the SPED world and making sure her son is getting the best care possible.
Next week, we will hear from a parent who has a child on an IEP in high school– I’m excited to hear her words of wisdom!
Last week, I started what will be a series of posts of interviews with parents who have children in Special Education. You can find the first post here. Our next interview is with McKenzie, who has a darling six year old boy who is receiving SPED services. Like me, McKenzie is also a former teacher who was familiar with SPED from a teacher’s perspective, and had to learn how to see it from a parent’s perspective. Let’s see what she had to say!
Please tell me a little about your child who is receiving Special Education services. (Age, grade, etc.)
E. is 6 years old. He just finished kindergarten this year and was on an IEP starting in preschool. He is on the IEP mainly for speech therapy, but also receives OT for a sensory processing disorder. He is also in the process of an autism diagnosis.
What kind of services does your child receive? (general education with pull out services for speech/math/reading, etc., behavior unit, mild-moderate life skills class, etc.)
E. does OT in school as well as Speech Therapy. He is in the GenEd class the rest of the time.
What has been the most difficult thing about navigating the SPED world in schools?
I wasn’t prepared for the emotional toll as a mom. I have a BS in Elementary Education and know the ins and outs of SPED and IEPs and this whole SPED world, but I knew it from a teacher’s perspective. I wasn’t as prepared to enter it as a parent, and it was emotional seeing it from that perspective.
As a parent, what has been the most rewarding or positive thing about working with SPED services in schools?
Watching E. improve and thrive in school has been incredible. We were extremely worried about sending him to public school and considered home schooling him, but watching him meet his goals on his IEP over time felt very rewarding. Working with the SPED team has also been incredibly rewarding because of the community and support they provide (more on that in the next q).
How do you feel other students and teachers respond to and interact with your child? Do you feel like there is a good amount of inclusiveness at your child’s school?
The outpouring of love and support from everyone on his IEP team has been incredible! His speech teacher, his OT, the principal, the GenEd teacher, even the PE teacher and the secretaries… literally EVERYONE he interacts with has his best interests in mind and they all have wanted to rally together to give E. the best school experience possible.
As far as other students, they are too young to even register that there are small things that set E. apart from everyone else. I do worry about how the students will start treating him in later grades when they see him wearing his noise cancelling headphones often, playing with fidgets constantly, and being able to walk out of the classroom for a break whenever he wants (per his IEP).
As a parent, what are some ways you advocate for your child to make sure they are in the least restrictive environment and receiving the services they need and deserve?
Right now, I’m not having to do much in the school to advocate for E. In fact, I think the teachers are advocating for him TO ME instead! I was nonchalant about getting him tested for autism because I’ve had so much push back from medical professionals to the point of one doctor saying flat out “He doesn’t have autism and you’re wasting your time trying to get him a diagnosis.” So I stopped pursuing it. But at an IEP meeting, they convinced me that I needed to push for it more and listed all of the ways an autism diagnosis could help him day to day and in the long run. Now we are back to working on an autism diagnosis with a new team of doctors, so that’s where I’ve spent all of my time advocating!
If you could tell one (or two or more) thing(s) to people who don’t have much experience with working with children with disabilities of any kind and severity, what would you tell them?
That these kids are not bad, even though they sometimes may come across as that. Their brains are just working differently than yours, and that’s not something to be punished or looked down on, it’s something that needs tolerance, understanding, and love. And you’ll get much further with these kids acting out of tolerance, understanding, and love than you will any other way.
Thank you, McKenzie! Thank you for reminding us that kids in SPED need our love and understanding!
As a teacher, I became very familiar with the educator side of Special Education. I knew how to read an IEP, how to accommodate the various needs of the students in my classes who had an IEP, and what to watch for to determine if any particular student presented themselves with a need for additional testing and help. I felt pretty confident in my knowledge of the Special Education terms, processes, and procedures.
It wasn’t until I became a parent of a child who needed Special Education services that I began to see the SPED world in a whole new light. Suddenly, the testing process, IEP meetings, IEP teams, and services became very personal. I was anxious about what this would all mean for my son.
Almost four years ago, my then two year old was not hitting his speech milestones as expected. We started him with our county’s early intervention program and saw great progress. When he aged out of their program, they set us up with the school district, and let them take over services. He has been on an IEP ever since then, and has made remarkable progress.
Fast forward a few years, and our youngest three children are all on an IEP and are receiving SPED services for speech. My previous anxieties about having children who qualify for and receive Special Education services have since gone away. I have come to see, now more than ever, that Special Education is an amazing resource, and that I have an incredible role as a parent to advocate for my children and to develop good relationships with their IEP team.
I know I am not the only parent who has gone through these thoughts and emotions surrounding having a child placed in any kind of SPED services. I interviewed a few parents who have at a child who is currently receiving or have previously received Special Education services for any kind or severity of disability. Join me as I share a series of these interviews over the next couple of weeks!
My first interview was with Brandy, whose son received speech therapy services for part of his elementary school years.
Please tell me a little about your child who is receiving Special Education services. (Age, grade, etc.)
* L. is 12 and going into 7th grade. He was in speech from 3rd to 6th.
What kind of services does your child receive? (general education with pull out services for speech/math/reading, etc., behavior unit, mild-moderate life skills class, etc.)
* He was in general education with pull out for speech.
What has been the most difficult thing about navigating the SPED world in schools?
* When we first started I knew almost nothing about SPED lingo or the different tools and tests used. Going in for IEPs was difficult when I didn’t feel like I understood what was happening and therefore didn’t know how to be a good advocate for my child.
As a parent, what has been the most rewarding or positive thing about working with SPED services in schools?
* Having a team of people who care about my child and are working to help him grow has been awesome.
How do you feel other students and teachers respond to and interact with your child? Do you feel like there is a good amount of inclusiveness at your child’s school?
* Inclusivity is huge at my kids’ school. L’s teachers have been super helpful with input during IEP meetings and with helping me know how to best advocate for additional help and testing where needed.
As a parent, what are some ways you advocate for your child to make sure they are in the least restrictive environment and receiving the services they need and deserve?
* Being in speech, my child was already in a minimally restrictive environment. He was only pulled, at most, 10 minutes, twice a week. I feel like my kids’ school does a great job of getting students their service time, while making sure they aren’t missing areas of necessary general education.
If you could tell one (or two or more) thing(s) to people who don’t have much experience with working with children with disabilities of any kind and severity, what would you tell them?
Love and caring always comes first. Children can’t effectively learn and grow without it. Once they start picking up on the skills they’ve been working towards, it’s so rewarding to see the pride they take in themselves.
I really enjoyed hearing from Brandy about her experience with the Special Education department in her son’s school. It’s always so great to hear about teachers and support staff who are genuinely concerned with the progress of their students!
Schools are an excellent place for teaching important (some crucial), measurable skills like reading, math, science, other technical skills, and so on. These kinds of skills are called hard skills, and are pretty easy to track progress in— there are clear, definitive answers and methods to how these skills are learned and carried out. Other learned skills, however, don’t have answers and methods that are quite so cut and dry. These are referred to as soft skills— behavioral traits like leadership, time management, communication skills, critical thinking, and problem solving, among others.
Should schools be responsible for teaching both kinds of skills? I think they already partially are. I believe that when you teach hard skills, the soft skills sometimes just naturally work their way into the teaching and learning. For example, if you are teaching a science concept, and students are put into groups to do an experiment, they will naturally be forced to use problem solving, team work, communication, and other soft skills.
Soft skills are equally as important (if not more so in some situations) as hard skills are. In fact, many employers today tend to favor soft skill knowledge over hard skill knowledge. In a digital world where people are spending less time interacting face to face, employers today need people who can take responsibility, lead a team, communicate, and effectively solve problems.
If employers are favoring soft skills over hard skills, then how do we as teachers ensure that we are providing opportunities for our students to learn these important soft skills that will aid them as they grow, progress, and eventually enter the adult world? Like was mentioned before, a lot of it stems from things that are already happening in our classrooms. So many of the activities and projects we ask students to take part in naturally lend themselves to teaching these crucial soft skills. Group work encourages communication and leadership. Reports and presentations give students a chance to practice leadership and communication skills. Word problems and other kinds of problems allow students to use critical thinking skills. Larger projects provide excellent lessons and chances to learn time management and organization skills.
Soft skills can even be learned outside of the classroom, in places like home, church, or while doing a sport. Sports provide many valuable opportunities for soft skill attainment, and can teach those skills in ways unlike anything else. Parents can encourage their children to learn and practice soft skills within the walls of their homes by providing children with opportunities to lead family meetings, do chores, work as a team with siblings, or manage and balance their activities and time. Church groups can also provide great opportunities for kids to learn communication skills, leadership skills, and empathy.
While some children are seemingly born with natural soft skills, others need to be taught. As adults, we ought to do our best to encourage and teach the youth of today these soft skills that will greatly aid them in the coming years. Our future selves will thank us later.
I have a kid who really struggles some mornings with wanting to go to school. Once he is there, he’s happy, helpful, and eager to learn. He has friends, gets along with everyone, and loves his teacher. It’s just the getting him there that is hard. I mean, I get it. Staying home and relaxing is pretty inviting— especially on these cold mornings! This particular child has struggled with this since preschool. I love that he wants to be home and wants to be around me, but I also know the importance of school. There is so much he gets from school that he wouldn’t get at home hanging out while mom works and does laundry.
Last week I had to run something over to my preschooler at the school. I mentioned to the preschool teacher that I was frustrated with my second grader for refusing to come to school that day. She knew exactly what I was talking about— he was in her class when he was a preschooler, and she remembered many mornings when he fought going to her class. Without hesitation, she sprung into action. She asked who is current teacher is, and told me she would get in touch with her and make a plan.
Today, I got an email describing a plan they had created that would hopefully help encourage my son to more willingly go to school. For every day that he goes to school without a fight, he gets to check off a box on a chart. Once he has filled in five boxes, he will get to spend 20 minutes in the preschool class helping the teacher and students. It’s brilliant! He is totally pumped about this plan, and is especially excited that he will get to go help in the preschool when his younger brother is there. It’s a win-win all around!
Now, I know this story is about my child, but I also know that I’m not the only parent who has a kid who struggles to want to go to school. I know my son’s teacher isn’t the only teacher who is trying to help their student feel loved and supported at school. I also know that coming up with a solution or a plan can feel overwhelming. Sometimes you don’t know where to start.
So what do you do with a student or child who just doesn’t want to go to school? Below are a few ideas and steps to take if you find yourself in this situation!
First, find out why there is hesitation to go to school— are they being bullied? Are they scared or worried? Do they not understand what they’re being taught? Do they just really like to be at home? Are their favorite pants dirty and they don’t know what to wear? Did they forget to do their homework and are afraid of getting in trouble?
Once you identify the why, determine if the teacher needs to be involved. Obviously if there is bullying or curriculum concerns happening, contacting the teacher is crucial.
Figure out what will motivate your child/student.
Create a sticker chart and work toward a reward.
Give the child a role or purpose at school that they need to be present for.
Allow your child to take a “brave buddy” with them in their backpack— a small stuffy or object that will help them feel brave.
Purchase or create some kind of matching bracelet or necklace— one for them to wear and one for you to wear so they can feel connected to you while they are away.
If you’re comfortable with it, draw a small heart or smiley face on one hand, and one on your child’s hand. Remind them that if they feel sad or miss you while they’re at school, they can look at or touch the little drawing and remember that you love them.
Offer positive reinforcement and feedback! Praise your child for being brave and doing something that is hard for them. Make sure they know you are proud of them, and help them to feel proud of themselves.
Always listen to your intuition. Parents know their children best, and generally can tell if something is amiss.
Having a child who fights going to school can be hard. It can be frustrating. I get it. But it is worth the fight to get them to school. Education is so important, and the earlier kids can understand that importance, the better!
