Creating A Unified Classroom

My third period class on A-days was something special. We started off the year a little disorganized and unsure, but by the end of the first term, we had settled into a rhythm and were in a groove. The kids all got along well, supported each other, cared about their learning, and genuinely cared about each other. It was magical. It was a stark contrast to my fourth period on B-days, who quickly became the class that I had to mentally prep myself for the most— the kids didn’t get along very well, didn’t care if their classmates succeeded, and just plain didn’t care about much. 

As a teacher, I did my best to create a classroom community where all of my students felt safe, included, and supported. I taught the same material, assigned the same assignments, and was consistent in my management. The biggest difference between the two classes? The kids. The students in these two classes came to school each day with different attitudes toward learning. One class came ready to learn, ready to be engaged, and ready to help each other. The other rolled into class, counting down the minutes until the bell rang and they were done. It was every man for himself. 

It’s probably not a surprise that the overall success and grades of the first class was higher than that of the second. It’s amazing what can happen when students care about each other and encourage each other, especially in junior high. When an already vulnerable teen feels safe and supported by their peers, they are more willing to take risks and ask for help when they need it. They are more willing to learn from each other and share their knowledge with others. Confidence increases as students work together to learn. 

The question here, then, is how do we as teachers encourage a tight-knit classroom community? Often times, we can do all that we can, and if the kids just aren’t interested, we can only do so much. But sometimes, students can be encouraged and gently nudged into supporting each other. When we provide opportunities for students to work together and cheer each other on, we are working toward that community feeling. When we give kids the chance to feel like they matter and are safe, the walls start to come down, and they begin to build trust in their peers. This usually isn’t an automatic or natural thing for kids to do, but it is worth working toward. 

We can encourage a classroom community by modeling what that looks like. Share and celebrate successes. Demonstrate what it means to show up and support someone in a time of need. Teach your students to invest in each other by asking questions about their lives and interests. Model what it looks like to genuinely listen. Show how students can have a meaningful conversation where they both hear and are heard. Provide them with opportunities to engage with one another and work together. 

It might take some work and practice, but once they get the hang of it, you will see a difference in your students and the way they show up for class and in the way they treat each other. It’ll be worth it, and you won’t regret it!

What to do When Your Kid Won’t go to School

I have a kid who really struggles some mornings with wanting to go to school. Once he is there, he’s happy, helpful, and eager to learn. He has friends, gets along with everyone, and loves his teacher. It’s just the getting him there that is hard. I mean, I get it. Staying home and relaxing is pretty inviting— especially on these cold mornings! This particular child has struggled with this since preschool. I love that he wants to be home and wants to be around me, but I also know the importance of school. There is so much he gets from school that he wouldn’t get at home hanging out while mom works and does laundry. 

Last week I had to run something over to my preschooler at the school. I mentioned to the preschool teacher that I was frustrated with my second grader for refusing to come to school that day. She knew exactly what I was talking about— he was in her class when he was a preschooler, and she remembered many mornings when he fought going to her class. Without hesitation, she sprung into action. She asked who is current teacher is, and told me she would get in touch with her and make a plan. 

Today, I got an email describing a plan they had created that would hopefully help encourage my son to more willingly go to school. For every day that he goes to school without a fight, he gets to check off a box on a chart. Once he has filled in five boxes, he will get to spend 20 minutes in the preschool class helping the teacher and students. It’s brilliant! He is totally pumped about this plan, and is especially excited that he will get to go help in the preschool when his younger brother is there. It’s a win-win all around!

Now, I know this story is about my child, but I also know that I’m not the only parent who has a kid who struggles to want to go to school. I know my son’s teacher isn’t the only teacher who is trying to help their student feel loved and supported at school. I also know that coming up with a solution or a plan can feel overwhelming. Sometimes you don’t know where to start. 

So what do you do with a student or child who just doesn’t want to go to school? Below are a few ideas and steps to take if you find yourself in this situation!

  • First, find out why there is hesitation to go to school— are they being bullied? Are they scared or worried? Do they not understand what they’re being taught? Do they just really like to be at home? Are their favorite pants dirty and they don’t know what to wear? Did they forget to do their homework and are afraid of getting in trouble?
  • Once you identify the why, determine if the teacher needs to be involved. Obviously if there is bullying or curriculum concerns happening, contacting the teacher is crucial. 
  • Figure out what will motivate your child/student.
    • Create a sticker chart and work toward a reward.
    • Give the child a role or purpose at school that they need to be present for. 
    • Allow your child to take a “brave buddy” with them in their backpack— a small stuffy or object that will help them feel brave. 
    • Purchase or create some kind of matching bracelet or necklace— one for them to wear and one for you to wear so they can feel connected to you while they are away.
    • If you’re comfortable with it, draw a small heart or smiley face on one hand, and one on your child’s hand. Remind them that if they feel sad or miss you while they’re at school, they can look at or touch the little drawing and remember that you love them. 
  • Offer positive reinforcement and feedback! Praise your child for being brave and doing something that is hard for them. Make sure they know you are proud of them, and help them to feel proud of themselves.
  • Always listen to your intuition. Parents know their children best, and generally can tell if something is amiss. 

Having a child who fights going to school can be hard. It can be frustrating. I get it. But it is worth the fight to get them to school. Education is so important, and the earlier kids can understand that importance, the better!