Tag: sports

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A Letter to Sports Parents

Dear Sports Parents,

I promise you that the crazy, chaotic schedules are worth it. The nights you spend in your car, shuttling kids from one practice or game to another, they aren’t a waste of time. The time you spend away from your house, eating dinner on the run, is time well spent. It might not seem like it in the moment, but it is. Your kids may not seem grateful for the sacrifices you are making on their behalf, but one day they will understand. 

That loss that your son’s soccer game had the other night was tough, for sure. But it provided your son with experience, opportunity, and growth. It gave him a chance to practice being a good sport, learning from mistakes, and thinking about how he can improve. 

When your daughter made the drill team, but her best friends didn’t, it was a bittersweet moment for you both. It gave you a chance to talk about being proud of your accomplishments, but not rubbing it in people’s faces. It gave her an opportunity to practice empathy and kindness. 

When your daughter’s basketball team took state, you celebrated. You celebrated the long days/nights of practices, the time spent in the bleachers cheering her and her team on, and the growth you’ve seen in her as she’s played. You celebrated her win because you know it’s important to her, and you know how hard she’s worked for it. You celebrated that she was able to see her hard work pay off.

When your son didn’t make the football team, you cried with him after he found out. You told him how proud you were of him for giving it his best shot. You didn’t tell him that things were going to be okay and that he could always try next year. Instead, you let him feel what he felt, and allowed him to grieve what he didn’t get. You supported him and loved him and encouraged him. When he is ready to try again, he’ll let you know. Until then, you keep loving him and cheering him on in whatever he does. 

When all five of your kids wanted to sign up for sports, and they all overlapped, making your schedule a million times more hectic, you did it anyway. You’ll figure out the transportation and time issue later. For now, you’re giving them all a chance to try something out, take a risk, and learn from their experiences. You’re showing them that you believe in them.

You do all of this because you know the amazing benefits that come from kids being on a sports team. Sure, there are the physical benefits of movement, exercise, and strength. But on a less tangible note, the life skills they learn are innumerable. They learn things on the field, in the studio, or in the pool that can’t be taught as effectively in a classroom. Studies have shown that kids who participate in some kind of sports-related activity actually end up doing better academically. Sports give kids the opportunity to learn how to work as a team and how to be a good teammate. Kids learn about sportsmanship. They learn to support and cheer on their peers. They learn that winning isn’t everything. They become more confident. They learn what they are capable of, and how to push themselves beyond what they thought was possible. Sports allow kids to take risks and try new things. Friendships are formed, lessons learned, and new skills are gained. 

So yes, being a parent of a kid (or kids) in sports can be exhausting. It’s time consuming. It can be financially straining at times. But it’s so worth it. The effort you put forth in supporting them is never wasted, and will have lasting effects. So the next time you find yourself scarfing down a protein bar as you drive your son to practice, then race across town to pick your daughter up from her game, remember what you’re doing is important, and is totally worth the sacrifice.

Sincerely,

A fellow sports parent and former teacher

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Overbooked and stressed out: Are we doing our kids a disservice?

Every parent wants to raise confident, well rounded children. We want to give our children the growing up experience they deserve. So many parents want their children to play a sport, learn a musical instrument, be at the top of their class, and be involved in other school sponsored extra curricular activities. And while all of these activities are good things to want your child to be involved in, at what cost does that involvement come? Are we overbooking our children, causing them to be stressed out and too busy? 

There are many benefits to having your child involved in extra curricular activities. Those activities can teach children things that just can’t be taught as well in the classroom— things like how to be a good sport, being part of a team, and how to manage your time effectively. Friendships can form. Kids can learn to be disciplined and what it takes to improve at something. Music lessons can help students in their academic studies and can boost creativity. Martial arts can help kids learn self defense, respect, and determination. Extra curricular activities are also a great way to boost confidence in children and teens. They can see their hard work pay off and they can feel good about their accomplishments. 

But what happens when the extra “stuff” becomes too much? Parents want their children to be involved and to develop their talents, but it often comes at a cost. Kids need time to just be kids. They need time to decompress from their day, and need a chance to slow down. If they are overbooked with extra activities and responsibilities, those chances to slow down become few and far between. Oftentimes, we see academic success and progress suffering at the hand of too many extra curricular activities. Opportunities for non-extracurricular social interaction lessen. Sleep deprivation can come into play when students are so overbooked that they don’t get to their homework until late at night, which then can bleed into poor academic performance because their young brains are not functioning at full capacity when they are already tired and overworked, not to mention the toll that poor sleep habits have on cognitive function during the daytime. 

I am constantly in awe and disbelief at the teenagers in my neighborhood. They are all doing incredible things, and it is remarkable to see their talents bloom. That being said, I know it comes at a great cost. One girl a few houses down from me is a competitive dancer. After school most days of the week, she heads from school to home, just to turn around and head to the dance studio for the next few hours of her night. On Wednesdays, she finishes dance at 6:30, then promptly heads to her church congregation’s youth activity for the week, which usually lasts until 8-8:30. Once that is over, she can head home and do her homework and get some down time before heading to bed just to start it all over again the next morning. I’m exhausted just writing this! 

I don’t know if there are any easy solutions to this dilemma. What I do know is that young minds are precious and should be treated with care. It is essential to find a decent balance between being involved and being too involved. For some families, that may look like cutting out extra curricular activities all together. For others, it might mean cutting back on how many extra activities they are involved in, or maybe cutting back from participating in competitive teams and sticking only to school or city recreation teams. Some families may have magically figured out the perfect routine and balance that works for them (lucky!). 

Whatever the case may be, there is much to be considered when putting children and teens into extra curricular activities. There really isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. But one thing is certain: we need to be sure to look out for the well being of our rising generation, and need to make sure they are healthy and well!