Restoring the Peace

Teachers wear many hats on any given day, and sometimes even have to wear multiple hats at a time. It’s a constant balancing act, requiring a teacher’s mind to always be in “on” mode, ready to switch hats and act in a new capacity. One of those capacities is that of a support person in times of crisis or distress. 

Dysregulation is, by definition, when there is an imbalance or disruption to the regular function of a system. Typically when we see this manifested in students, there has been some sort of trigger that has upset the regular balance of emotions and/or behaviors. This can lead to outbursts, heightened emotions, muddled thinking, and even physical reactions. 

When a student becomes dysregulated, a teacher must often step in to offer assistance, comfort, and guidance. A teacher’s priority is to keep their students safe, so in a situation where a student has become dysregulated, the teacher must ensure that the struggling student, as well as all other students in the room, remain safe. The specific actions taken to restore balance and calm can look different in every situation, but there are a few steps that remain consistent across the board. Employing these tactics can help to deescalate a situation quickly so that the classroom can return to a safe space for everyone as soon as possible. 

Remove Triggers

If possible, remove whatever it is causing the student to become dysregulated. If it is another student, separate them. If it is frustration over an assignment, remove the assignment from their desk for a bit. Whatever it is, try to find a way to put some distance between the dysregulated student and the trigger.

Stay calm & Reassure

A dysregulated adult cannot effectively calm down a dysregulated student. Remaining calm– as difficult as that can sometimes be– is incredibly helpful when you are attempting to calm a student down. They can sense your emotions and will mirror them. Remember, we don’t need to add our chaos to their chaos!

Offer Space

A student who is feeling out of sorts often needs space to regroup. If they feel cornered, it could potentially escalate their already heightened emotions, leading to a worse situation. If, however, a student is being physically reactive, intervention may need to be made to remove the student from the situation so as to prevent themselves and/or others from getting harmed. 

Validate Feelings & Actively Listen

Name to tame– identify the emotions and feelings so students know what it is they are feeling. Once they have named what they feel, it is easier to identify ways to regulate those feelings. Let the student know that feelings aren’t bad– we all have them! It’s how we manage them when they feel out of control that matters most in a situation like this. Take time to listen to what the student has to say, and use good listening strategies so they know you hear them– nod when appropriate, make eye contact, repeat back key points or phrases to show you’ve understood them, and ask questions to clarify as needed. Students are more likely to calm down and feel safe if they know they have a trusted adult who cares about them.

Give options and choices for alternatives

Find an alternative activity for the student to do until they feel calm enough to engage with classmates again. This might look different for every student. Perhaps you might offer some time in a calm down corner, or maybe allowing the student to put on some headphones and listen to a meditation exercise. Other students might respond well to a coloring activity or perhaps even a sensory activity like play-doh or kinetic sand. A fidget toy or stress ball might be a great alternative activity for an escalated student as well!

Choose your battles

As a teacher, you reach a point where you realize that some battles just aren’t worth fighting. Assess the situation, and make a choice. If the cause of the dysregulation really is an issue, address it and find a solution. If the cause of dysregulation really isn’t that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things, learn to let some things go. You as the teacher get to make that call.

Know when to ask for extra support

Occasionally, you may find that you have a student so dysregulated that you can’t handle it on your own. Learn your limits and learn to recognize when you need an extra hand. It might be that you need someone else to come remove the student from the room, or maybe you need someone to come sit with the rest of your students so that you can step out and help your student resolve whatever it is that is triggering them. Schools are full of other teachers and staff who are willing and ready to step in should the need arise. 

Teachers can do so much when it comes to helping their students learn to manage their feelings in appropriate ways. When a teacher takes the time to walk through deescalating techniques, students can learn methods and techniques to calm themselves down. As they practice these methods, they begin to realize that they can handle their triggers on their own and that they have the tools needed to regulate their own emotions without outside help, and that becomes a skill that they can use the rest of their lives. 

Bullying is Never the Answer

If you’ve been in the classroom for any length of time, you have likely witnessed first hand just how mean and destructive bullies can be. It’s a problem that seems to have existed for as long as humans have been around, and it doesn’t seem to be going away anytime soon. In fact, it’s becoming more prominent with social media being so accessible. Students need to understand  that bullying is never ok and is never the answer. The repercussions of being the target of a bully are long lasting and can be quite detrimental to a person’s health, confidence, and self image. 

As teachers, it is crucial that if we see something, we say something, and that we teach our students to do the same. We need to teach our students what bullying is, what it can look like, how it feels to be the victim, and how to address it when/if we see it happening. I found a few picture books that did a great job of teaching these concepts— take a look!

Giraffe is Left Out written by Sue Craves, illustrated by Trevor Dunton

Giraffe, Little Lion, and Monkey are all friends. When Leopard moves into their class, Giraffe is not excited. He does not want to let Leopard join their friend group, and purposely excludes Leopard from any and all activities. Leopard is sad and feels left out. When it comes time to pass out invitations to his birthday party, Leopard gives one to everyone else, but doesn’t give one to Giraffe. Now Giraffe is the one who feels left out. Soon, he begins to understand just how mean it is to leave people out, and he learns that Leopard is actually a really good friend. Giraffe mends his ways and becomes a friend to Leopard in the end.

I liked how this book showed that excluding people is a form of bullying, and that it can be hurtful to others.

Billy Bully by Alvaro & Ana Galan, illustrated by Steve Simpson

When Billy Bully comes to the playground to play with the other kids, he takes over and makes the fun go away. He takes toys, cuts in line, pushes, breaks others’ things, tricks people, and won’t take turns. No one wants to play with him. With every mean thing he does, another kid leaves the playground. Soon, he is left with no one to play with, and he starts to realize that the things he was doing weren’t nice. One by one, he goes to his friends and apologizes and makes up for the things he had done. Soon, all the kids have come back to play together.

The illustrations in this book are so cute, and the story is easy to follow. There is also a counting element as Bully’s friends leave and come back one by one. I loved how it depicted several ways that someone can be a bully to help kids understand that bullying can take on many forms.

Eddie the Bully written and illustrated by Henry Cole

Eddie is mean, mean, mean. He says unkind things about his friends, teases them, ruins their art projects, and more. No one likes to play with him. He’s always picked last for teams, left out of the fun, and ignored. When Carla, a new girl, moves into their class, she is assigned to sit right next to Eddie. Everyone expects Eddie to say and do mean things to her, but before he has the chance, Carla compliments Eddie on his sweater and tells him that everyone must want to be his friend! Eddie is unsure what to say to this, because he knows that it isn’t true. Carla asks Eddie to help her make new friends, and Eddie agrees. He quickly learns that it feels good to be nice, so he changes his ways and starts over, this time, being a friend to everyone.

Similar to Billy Bully, this story shows different ways that bullying can happen, helping kids to understand that bullying isn’t just one thing.

Bullies Never Win by Margery Cuyler, illustrated by Arthur Howard

Jessica is a first grader who worries about a lot of things, one of which is Brenda, a girl at school who likes to bully and be mean. Brenda finds a way to make fun of everything Jessica does, so Jessica slowly stops doing all the things she loves to do. Jessica finally has had enough and breaks down crying to her mom. Her mom suggests that she stand up for herself or tell their teacher. Jessica is worried about what she will do or say to Brenda to make her stop being a bully. The next day at lunch, Brenda continues to tease and say mean things. Jessica has had enough, and stands up and tells Brenda that, “… bullies never win!” Brenda is embarrassed and doesn’t say anything else to Jessica. That night, Jessica feels proud of herself for standing up to Brenda.

I loved how this story showed how to stand up to a bully. It was an empowering story!

Bully written and illustrated by Jennifer Sattler

Bully is a bull frog, and he wants all the lily pads on the pond all for himself. He won’t let any other pond friends eat them, smell them, or look at them. Soon, he has chased everyone away and is all alone. There is only one flower left, and he wants it just for himself, so he sits on it to protect it. A bee comes up to him and tries to save the flower by reminding Bully that he’s sitting on it. Bully is mean and asks the bee what he’s going to do about it. The bee has an idea, and buzzes away to gather his friends. Together they reclaim the pond and chase Bully away. The lilies begin to grow again, and the pond is back to its thriving self. Bully moves to a new pond, but is sad to see that it’s just a pond of mud, and he is all alone. Still, all he cares about is that the pond is all his.

This story showed that it can be powerful to stand up to a bully as a group— strength in numbers. 

—————————

Bullying is never the answer, and students need to know that. These books do a great job of teaching that and showing that bullying can take on many forms. Bullying is a problem that many kids will face, either directly or indirectly, and it’s important that students be equipped with the tools they need to stand up to bullies and speak up when they see it happening. We may not be able to completely eradicate bullying from our schools, but we can certainly make a difference by teaching our students to respect and watch out for one another.

Even Kids Get Anxious

You wake up and feel great, until you start to think about the things you will be doing during the day. Suddenly, you don’t feel so great anymore. You start to sweat. Your throat feels tight, and your mouth gets dry. You can feel your heart start to beat faster and faster. Your tummy feels like it’s doing somersaults, and your mind is going as fast as a race car. You convince yourself that staying in bed is the best option, because then you don’t have to face the day, and that is certainly easier than confronting the things you are worried about. 

Perhaps you have found yourself in this situation a few times. Maybe this is your reality every day. Or, maybe you are one of the lucky few who doesn’t ever really worry about things to this extent. Whatever the case may be, there’s no denying that anxiety and worry are real. As adults, we can usually pinpoint what it is that is making us worried, and can take the necessary steps to cope with it. For kids, however, it might not be the same. Since kids are still trying to figure out what different emotions feel like, they may not recognize anxiety for what it is; they may see it as a big, scary monster inside of themselves. 

Thankfully, there are a lot of resources at our fingertips for helping our students and kiddos who deal with anxiety. One of those amazing resources is picture books! I love using picture books to teach about abstract concepts— they give kids a visual way to see the idea, and they tell about it in a way they understand. A trip to my local library presented me with several children’s books about anxiety. The following are ones that I particularly enjoyed:

Wilma Jean the Worry Machine written by Julia Cook and illustrated by Anita Dufalla

Wilma is a cute elementary aged girl who wakes up every morning and pretends to go back to sleep so she doesn’t have to face the day. Her mind is full of ‘what if’ questions— What if they serve buttered carrots at lunch? What if she gets chosen to do a math problem in front of the class and she gets the answer wrong? What if her friends don’t want to play with her at recess? What if she doesn’t get picked for a team at PE? What if her mom gives her a gross snack after school? 

The ‘what if’ questions consume Wilma and make it hard for her to do things and enjoy her day. Her mom notices this happening  and decides to take action. Together, Wilma, her mom, and her teacher create a plan to help quiet Wilma’s worries. They talk about the worries Wilma can control and the ones she can’t. The teacher introduces the “worry hat” that Wilma can put on whenever she feels worried— she can ‘think’ her worries into the hat, then take it off knowing the worries have left her mind.

The illustrations are just perfect, and this story does an incredible job of describing what anxiety feels like and offers some great coping strategies that kids can easily use.

My Monster and Me written by Nadiya Hussain and illustrated by Ella Bailey

This book follows a little boy as he talks about his Monster. This Monster has been around as long as he can remember, and seems to follow him everywhere he goes. His Monster shows up at interferes with just about everything the boy does. He can’t seem to escape it. 

One day, the Monster gets so big that the boy just can’t take it anymore. Frustrated, he goes to his grandma’s house, where grandma helps him talk through what is bothering him. The more he talks about it, the smaller the Monster becomes, until the Monster is small enough to fit in the boy’s pocket. Now that he knows how to make the Monster smaller, the boy is able to go out and enjoy things and have fun with his friends. 

I loved the analogy of a monster for anxiety. It really can feel like that— like a huge, fuzzy mean creature trying to take over everything, and it can be consuming. In the story, the boy turns to a trusted adult to sort out his feelings and make sense of everything. 

The illustrations are darling, the story is simple, but the lesson is deep!

Pig and Horse and the Something Scary written and illustrated by Zoey Abbott

Pig wakes up one morning not feeling herself, so she decides to go see her friend, Horse. She tells Horse that she feels something scary inside of her, but she can’t say what it is because she is trying to ignore it. Horse is a helpful friend and suggests that they go for a bike ride. When that doesn’t work, she suggests that they go for a swim. When swimming doesn’t take away the feeling, she has the idea to get Pig to laugh really hard. But even that doesn’t work. 

Horse thinks for a minute and suggests that Pig just let it all out. Pig is afraid and hesitates, so Horse comes up with the idea that they invite the scary feeling to tea. Together, they whip up some yummy treats and tea and sit down to have a tea party. When she feels ready, Pig lets out her worries— first, the night, then the idea of being alone, and lastly, the character from her bedtime story the night before. Each of these fears is represented in the book by a different colored “cloud” of sorts coming from Pig’s mind. 

As she releases each fear, Pig and Horse try different ways to make each worry become smaller and smaller until it vanishes. Ultimately, Pig feels much better for having let her worries go. 

I loved this book for a few reasons— first, Pig recognized that she felt different, so she sought out the help of someone she loved and trusted. Second, the fears were given a color and description to make them feel tangible. Third, Pig and Horse came up with coping skills together, and Horse did them right along side Pig as she let her worries go. The idea of not having to face worries alone would be so comforting to a child dealing with anxiety. Imagine already feeling out of sorts and worried, then having to cope with it alone! The thought of that would increase anxiety, which would put a child back at square one. Having someone to help makes a world of difference!

Way Past Worried written by Hallee Adelman and illustrated by Sandra de la Prada

Brock is past worried. His heart is pounding and his mind is racing. He has been invited to his friend Juan’s birthday party, but he has to go alone, without his brother. Brock is worried that the other kids at the party won’t like him, won’t play with him, and will laugh at him. He’s worried that his superhero costume isn’t good enough and that he wouldn’t have anything to say to the other kids. 

His anxiety takes over and causes him to freeze up as he enters the party. Rather than going to join the other kids, he retreats to a tree, where he finds a new friend, Nelly, who is also experiencing anxiety. Together, they talk through their worries then decide to be brave like superheroes and join the party. 

Nelly and Brock join the other kids and have a great time, glad that they decided to not let their worries get in the way of their fun day. This book is so great— the illustrations are super cute and the story tells of a kid in a situation that is familiar to most kids. Because most kids know what it’s like to attend a birthday party, they can imagine what it would be like to have to go alone, and can more easily put themselves in Brock or Nelly’s shoes. 

________

I hope you’re able to use one or more of these books if you ever find yourself in the position that you’re helping a student or your own child make sense of their anxious feelings!

Bullying: An Epidemic

One of the jobs of a teacher is to make their classroom a safe place for all students— a place where kids can come and feel like they belong, matter, and are heard. Most teachers I know of do a pretty good job at that, or at least trying their best to do so. Unfortunately, there are some kids who are pretty good at taking a safe place and making it feel not so safe by being a bully. And, equally as unfortunate, these kids are usually sneaky in their ways, often getting away with their behaviors until a situation becomes more serious. 

Bullying isn’t a new problem— it’s an issue that has been present in schools as long as schools have been around, and I don’t see it going anywhere anytime soon. As teachers, we have the responsibility to keep our eyes and ears open and to intervene any time we become aware of a bullying situation. We cannot turn a blind eye to this problem. 

So what can we do? To start, we can teach kindness and acceptance in our homes to our own children as well as to our students in our classrooms. We can encourage students to talk to a trusted adult when they see or hear bullying behaviors or when they are the victim of those behaviors. We can make our selves more aware of what is going on around us. Getting to know our students helps in several ways— it creates a relationship of trust and also can help us notice if something seems “off” or different. We need to be active listeners, doers, and watchers within the walls of our classrooms and our schools. 

If we do become aware of a problem, we can involve administration if needed. Beyond discipline, most admins will be willing to come into your classroom and talk about bullying and the problems it can cause— and the consequences that may result. 

Last school year, my second grader came home one day and told us that a classmate had been mean to him verbally and physically. We talked through the situation and discussed how he can handle it if it happened again. Unfortunately, it did continue happening. My son said he had told the recess aid whenever it would happen, but nothing changed. At this point, I emailed his teacher and explained what had been happening. I was so impressed with how she handled it; it was immediate and firm. She set up new class guidelines and made sure her students knew that she would not tolerate any kind of mean behavior in her classroom. She let them know that if she heard or saw anything happening, there would be immediate consequences and that the principal would become involved. She instituted a kindness challenge where students were given a grid of kind things to do for others. Once they had completed all the tasks on the grid, they could bring their paper back for a prize. Not only did she address the issue of bullying, she went a step further and encouraged all her students to be kinder and more patient with one another. Thankfully the problems my son was experiencing stopped, and the rest of the school year was just fine.

I know not all bullying situations are resolved as quickly and easily as my son’s was. I know for some students, it goes on for weeks, months, or even years, slowly eating away at the victim’s mental health and self esteem. It takes a toll. 

Cyber bullying is becoming more prevalent as technology continues to evolve. Kids (and sadly, even adults) can hide behind a screen and target individuals. Information spreads quickly via the internet, and can be done without the victim ever knowing who the bully is. This kind of bullying is dangerous and scary. It is also cowardly, as the bully doesn’t even have to come face to face with their targets. They can hide in the comfort of their own homes while slowly destroying someone else’s life. 

I don’t know that there are any easy or sure fire solutions to this epidemic happening in our schools. But I do know that we as teachers can make a difference by being alert, attentive, and aware of what is happening around us. We can be proactive by teaching and encouraging kindness. We can be assertive when we notice something happening and get those involved the help they need. While we may not be able to rid the world of bullying, we can certainly start a change within our own classrooms.

Education for the Incarcerated

I stumbled across an article several months ago about a book club for prisoners. The article title and abstract caught my attention, but I didn’t have time to actually sit and read it. I bookmarked it and told myself that I’d return to it in a day or so. Turns out I forgot about it for quite some time until I rediscovered it a few days ago. Lucky for me, I had some time to sit and read through the article. I was intrigued by this concept of a book club for inmates— a chance for them to experience something that usually isn’t associated with life behind bars. 

The book club has been running for 15 semesters. They read a book a week, and books are chosen based on the theme that has been picked for the semester. Inmates read the books on their own, then come together to discuss what they read. 

The club facilitator is a volunteer, and the program is run through a local university. The university also facilities other programs for inmates, bringing higher education inside the walls of the prison. Their goal is to give inmates a chance to get ahead while they are incarcerated, with the hope that they will then use their education for good and turn their lives around once they are released. Research has shown that inmates who participate in some kind of educational program or class while incarcerated are much less likely to fall back into a life of crime one they are done with their sentence. 

Prison education programs go further than a book club, however. Most prisons offer opportunities for inmates to experience a wide range of educational pursuits. Programs might include basic literacy and GED programs, vocational training programs, and often college-level courses. Some prisons may also offer rehabilitation programs, which focus on behavioral interventions, life skills, and planning for life after prison. Arts and crafts programs are also often offered, giving inmates a chance to explore creative outlets. 

These educational programs provide inmates with an opportunity to choose— So much of an inmate’s life behind bars is controlled or mandated by things out of their control. They must adhere to schedules and other requirements, leaving little room for personal choice. 

One of the consequences associated with jail or prison time is losing the privilege to make individual choices— inmates don’t get to choose what they wear, where they sleep, who is in the cell next to them, and so on. In a world of so little choice, I can imagine that the ability to choose to be able to participate in educational programs is very welcomed. Sure, people end up behind bars because of choices they have made, but they are still people, and they still deserve a chance to reclaim their lives. 

Beyond reduced recidivism, prison education programs have other benefits. Upon release, inmates who have taken advantage of education opportunities may be more competitive in the job market, leading to increased chances of employment. Education programs can also lead to more positive and productive prisons, which could lead to safer environments for inmates. One of the biggest benefits of education behind bars is the boost to mental health that comes from these programs. Inmates who are actively enrolled in and benefiting from education programs are more likely to have better mental health— they feel a sense of empowerment and pride in their learning. New knowledge and skills lead to more productivity and can motivate people to continue learning. 

Imagine the positive impact on incarcerated persons who intentionally participate in the educational opportunities that are offered to them! Not only are they going to come out of prison with new skills and opportunities, but their time in prison can turn into something productive and meaningful. I love the idea of these opportunities for imprisoned individuals to better themselves, make progress, and eventually use their knowledge for good upon release. 

Many prison programs are run by volunteers and by monetary donations. If you’re able, check if your local jail or prison has educational programs available to its inmates and if they are in need of donations. It’s a good cause, and is one that benefits many!

You can read the article about the prison book club here.

Humor in the Classroom

Teachers wear a lot of hats in the short amount of time they are with their students each day. At any given moment, they might be a teacher, a nurse, a disciplinarian, a peace maker, a counselor, or even a comedian or entertainer. This is only one of the ways that teachers are amazing. Elementary teachers especially find themselves switching hats frequently during the day. It’s quite the skill, and is very impressive. 

So often in a classroom, the need for humor or silliness arises. Obviously, teaching isn’t meant to be a comedy act every day, but when used at the right time, comedy can be a great tool. Think of the last time you laughed and how you felt afterwards. I’d bet that most people would say that they felt happier and less tense or stressed after laughing. 

Using humor in the classroom can do a lot for the overall feeling in the room, and can help put people at ease. Humor can be used in many ways and in many situations, such as using it to diffuse a tense situation, make a point, bond with students, or help students remember something you’re teaching. 

Saying or doing something funny can help students feel more at ease. I remember several times using humor to try help lighten the mood in the room right before I handed out tests. While I wanted my students to focus on the test and do their best, I also wanted them to know that the test wasn’t the most important thing in their lives. I also recall times where I was feeling grumpy, tired, or otherwise just not in the mood to be in the classroom. Those times were usually when a student would execute a perfectly timed joke or funny comment, and the result was almost always a happier mood in the room.

Using humor or silliness to illustrate a point or concept can be very effective. When there is an emotion tied to something, there is a greater likelihood that the brain will remember it. When my seventh graders were learning when and where to use each kind of punctuation mark, we watched a short video of Victor Borge, who had created a sound for each punctuation mark. Every time he got to a comma, he would make a specific sound, and would make a different sound every time he got to a period, and so on. (If you want to watch it, click here.) After watching the video, I had students create their own “punctuation sounds” for a reading passage and perform them for the class. The amount of laughter was great that day, and the students talked about it all year long. 

It can feel a bit vulnerable for some people to stand in front of a room and act silly or try to use humor. But, if students see you laughing and making the best of a situation, they are more likely to respond with the same vibe. So many students gather information on the mood in the room, and respond accordingly. 

While humor can be a very effective teaching tool, it’s important to keep in mind that it ought not be used to make light of a very serious situation or to ridicule or speak poorly of any group or individual. There is never a place for jokes, comments, or humor that targets a specific group or person, especially in a negative manner.

Silliness and humor don’t have to be used in every setting or situation, but when the time and place are appropriate, it can make a big difference for all involved. After all, laughter is the best medicine!

What to do When Your Kid Won’t go to School

I have a kid who really struggles some mornings with wanting to go to school. Once he is there, he’s happy, helpful, and eager to learn. He has friends, gets along with everyone, and loves his teacher. It’s just the getting him there that is hard. I mean, I get it. Staying home and relaxing is pretty inviting— especially on these cold mornings! This particular child has struggled with this since preschool. I love that he wants to be home and wants to be around me, but I also know the importance of school. There is so much he gets from school that he wouldn’t get at home hanging out while mom works and does laundry. 

Last week I had to run something over to my preschooler at the school. I mentioned to the preschool teacher that I was frustrated with my second grader for refusing to come to school that day. She knew exactly what I was talking about— he was in her class when he was a preschooler, and she remembered many mornings when he fought going to her class. Without hesitation, she sprung into action. She asked who is current teacher is, and told me she would get in touch with her and make a plan. 

Today, I got an email describing a plan they had created that would hopefully help encourage my son to more willingly go to school. For every day that he goes to school without a fight, he gets to check off a box on a chart. Once he has filled in five boxes, he will get to spend 20 minutes in the preschool class helping the teacher and students. It’s brilliant! He is totally pumped about this plan, and is especially excited that he will get to go help in the preschool when his younger brother is there. It’s a win-win all around!

Now, I know this story is about my child, but I also know that I’m not the only parent who has a kid who struggles to want to go to school. I know my son’s teacher isn’t the only teacher who is trying to help their student feel loved and supported at school. I also know that coming up with a solution or a plan can feel overwhelming. Sometimes you don’t know where to start. 

So what do you do with a student or child who just doesn’t want to go to school? Below are a few ideas and steps to take if you find yourself in this situation!

  • First, find out why there is hesitation to go to school— are they being bullied? Are they scared or worried? Do they not understand what they’re being taught? Do they just really like to be at home? Are their favorite pants dirty and they don’t know what to wear? Did they forget to do their homework and are afraid of getting in trouble?
  • Once you identify the why, determine if the teacher needs to be involved. Obviously if there is bullying or curriculum concerns happening, contacting the teacher is crucial. 
  • Figure out what will motivate your child/student.
    • Create a sticker chart and work toward a reward.
    • Give the child a role or purpose at school that they need to be present for. 
    • Allow your child to take a “brave buddy” with them in their backpack— a small stuffy or object that will help them feel brave. 
    • Purchase or create some kind of matching bracelet or necklace— one for them to wear and one for you to wear so they can feel connected to you while they are away.
    • If you’re comfortable with it, draw a small heart or smiley face on one hand, and one on your child’s hand. Remind them that if they feel sad or miss you while they’re at school, they can look at or touch the little drawing and remember that you love them. 
  • Offer positive reinforcement and feedback! Praise your child for being brave and doing something that is hard for them. Make sure they know you are proud of them, and help them to feel proud of themselves.
  • Always listen to your intuition. Parents know their children best, and generally can tell if something is amiss. 

Having a child who fights going to school can be hard. It can be frustrating. I get it. But it is worth the fight to get them to school. Education is so important, and the earlier kids can understand that importance, the better!