Category: Mental Health

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Even Kids Get Anxious

You wake up and feel great, until you start to think about the things you will be doing during the day. Suddenly, you don’t feel so great anymore. You start to sweat. Your throat feels tight, and your mouth gets dry. You can feel your heart start to beat faster and faster. Your tummy feels like it’s doing somersaults, and your mind is going as fast as a race car. You convince yourself that staying in bed is the best option, because then you don’t have to face the day, and that is certainly easier than confronting the things you are worried about. 

Perhaps you have found yourself in this situation a few times. Maybe this is your reality every day. Or, maybe you are one of the lucky few who doesn’t ever really worry about things to this extent. Whatever the case may be, there’s no denying that anxiety and worry are real. As adults, we can usually pinpoint what it is that is making us worried, and can take the necessary steps to cope with it. For kids, however, it might not be the same. Since kids are still trying to figure out what different emotions feel like, they may not recognize anxiety for what it is; they may see it as a big, scary monster inside of themselves. 

Thankfully, there are a lot of resources at our fingertips for helping our students and kiddos who deal with anxiety. One of those amazing resources is picture books! I love using picture books to teach about abstract concepts— they give kids a visual way to see the idea, and they tell about it in a way they understand. A trip to my local library presented me with several children’s books about anxiety. The following are ones that I particularly enjoyed:

Wilma Jean the Worry Machine written by Julia Cook and illustrated by Anita Dufalla

Wilma is a cute elementary aged girl who wakes up every morning and pretends to go back to sleep so she doesn’t have to face the day. Her mind is full of ‘what if’ questions— What if they serve buttered carrots at lunch? What if she gets chosen to do a math problem in front of the class and she gets the answer wrong? What if her friends don’t want to play with her at recess? What if she doesn’t get picked for a team at PE? What if her mom gives her a gross snack after school? 

The ‘what if’ questions consume Wilma and make it hard for her to do things and enjoy her day. Her mom notices this happening  and decides to take action. Together, Wilma, her mom, and her teacher create a plan to help quiet Wilma’s worries. They talk about the worries Wilma can control and the ones she can’t. The teacher introduces the “worry hat” that Wilma can put on whenever she feels worried— she can ‘think’ her worries into the hat, then take it off knowing the worries have left her mind.

The illustrations are just perfect, and this story does an incredible job of describing what anxiety feels like and offers some great coping strategies that kids can easily use.

My Monster and Me written by Nadiya Hussain and illustrated by Ella Bailey

This book follows a little boy as he talks about his Monster. This Monster has been around as long as he can remember, and seems to follow him everywhere he goes. His Monster shows up at interferes with just about everything the boy does. He can’t seem to escape it. 

One day, the Monster gets so big that the boy just can’t take it anymore. Frustrated, he goes to his grandma’s house, where grandma helps him talk through what is bothering him. The more he talks about it, the smaller the Monster becomes, until the Monster is small enough to fit in the boy’s pocket. Now that he knows how to make the Monster smaller, the boy is able to go out and enjoy things and have fun with his friends. 

I loved the analogy of a monster for anxiety. It really can feel like that— like a huge, fuzzy mean creature trying to take over everything, and it can be consuming. In the story, the boy turns to a trusted adult to sort out his feelings and make sense of everything. 

The illustrations are darling, the story is simple, but the lesson is deep!

Pig and Horse and the Something Scary written and illustrated by Zoey Abbott

Pig wakes up one morning not feeling herself, so she decides to go see her friend, Horse. She tells Horse that she feels something scary inside of her, but she can’t say what it is because she is trying to ignore it. Horse is a helpful friend and suggests that they go for a bike ride. When that doesn’t work, she suggests that they go for a swim. When swimming doesn’t take away the feeling, she has the idea to get Pig to laugh really hard. But even that doesn’t work. 

Horse thinks for a minute and suggests that Pig just let it all out. Pig is afraid and hesitates, so Horse comes up with the idea that they invite the scary feeling to tea. Together, they whip up some yummy treats and tea and sit down to have a tea party. When she feels ready, Pig lets out her worries— first, the night, then the idea of being alone, and lastly, the character from her bedtime story the night before. Each of these fears is represented in the book by a different colored “cloud” of sorts coming from Pig’s mind. 

As she releases each fear, Pig and Horse try different ways to make each worry become smaller and smaller until it vanishes. Ultimately, Pig feels much better for having let her worries go. 

I loved this book for a few reasons— first, Pig recognized that she felt different, so she sought out the help of someone she loved and trusted. Second, the fears were given a color and description to make them feel tangible. Third, Pig and Horse came up with coping skills together, and Horse did them right along side Pig as she let her worries go. The idea of not having to face worries alone would be so comforting to a child dealing with anxiety. Imagine already feeling out of sorts and worried, then having to cope with it alone! The thought of that would increase anxiety, which would put a child back at square one. Having someone to help makes a world of difference!

Way Past Worried written by Hallee Adelman and illustrated by Sandra de la Prada

Brock is past worried. His heart is pounding and his mind is racing. He has been invited to his friend Juan’s birthday party, but he has to go alone, without his brother. Brock is worried that the other kids at the party won’t like him, won’t play with him, and will laugh at him. He’s worried that his superhero costume isn’t good enough and that he wouldn’t have anything to say to the other kids. 

His anxiety takes over and causes him to freeze up as he enters the party. Rather than going to join the other kids, he retreats to a tree, where he finds a new friend, Nelly, who is also experiencing anxiety. Together, they talk through their worries then decide to be brave like superheroes and join the party. 

Nelly and Brock join the other kids and have a great time, glad that they decided to not let their worries get in the way of their fun day. This book is so great— the illustrations are super cute and the story tells of a kid in a situation that is familiar to most kids. Because most kids know what it’s like to attend a birthday party, they can imagine what it would be like to have to go alone, and can more easily put themselves in Brock or Nelly’s shoes. 

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I hope you’re able to use one or more of these books if you ever find yourself in the position that you’re helping a student or your own child make sense of their anxious feelings!

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Bullying: An Epidemic

One of the jobs of a teacher is to make their classroom a safe place for all students— a place where kids can come and feel like they belong, matter, and are heard. Most teachers I know of do a pretty good job at that, or at least trying their best to do so. Unfortunately, there are some kids who are pretty good at taking a safe place and making it feel not so safe by being a bully. And, equally as unfortunate, these kids are usually sneaky in their ways, often getting away with their behaviors until a situation becomes more serious. 

Bullying isn’t a new problem— it’s an issue that has been present in schools as long as schools have been around, and I don’t see it going anywhere anytime soon. As teachers, we have the responsibility to keep our eyes and ears open and to intervene any time we become aware of a bullying situation. We cannot turn a blind eye to this problem. 

So what can we do? To start, we can teach kindness and acceptance in our homes to our own children as well as to our students in our classrooms. We can encourage students to talk to a trusted adult when they see or hear bullying behaviors or when they are the victim of those behaviors. We can make our selves more aware of what is going on around us. Getting to know our students helps in several ways— it creates a relationship of trust and also can help us notice if something seems “off” or different. We need to be active listeners, doers, and watchers within the walls of our classrooms and our schools. 

If we do become aware of a problem, we can involve administration if needed. Beyond discipline, most admins will be willing to come into your classroom and talk about bullying and the problems it can cause— and the consequences that may result. 

Last school year, my second grader came home one day and told us that a classmate had been mean to him verbally and physically. We talked through the situation and discussed how he can handle it if it happened again. Unfortunately, it did continue happening. My son said he had told the recess aid whenever it would happen, but nothing changed. At this point, I emailed his teacher and explained what had been happening. I was so impressed with how she handled it; it was immediate and firm. She set up new class guidelines and made sure her students knew that she would not tolerate any kind of mean behavior in her classroom. She let them know that if she heard or saw anything happening, there would be immediate consequences and that the principal would become involved. She instituted a kindness challenge where students were given a grid of kind things to do for others. Once they had completed all the tasks on the grid, they could bring their paper back for a prize. Not only did she address the issue of bullying, she went a step further and encouraged all her students to be kinder and more patient with one another. Thankfully the problems my son was experiencing stopped, and the rest of the school year was just fine.

I know not all bullying situations are resolved as quickly and easily as my son’s was. I know for some students, it goes on for weeks, months, or even years, slowly eating away at the victim’s mental health and self esteem. It takes a toll. 

Cyber bullying is becoming more prevalent as technology continues to evolve. Kids (and sadly, even adults) can hide behind a screen and target individuals. Information spreads quickly via the internet, and can be done without the victim ever knowing who the bully is. This kind of bullying is dangerous and scary. It is also cowardly, as the bully doesn’t even have to come face to face with their targets. They can hide in the comfort of their own homes while slowly destroying someone else’s life. 

I don’t know that there are any easy or sure fire solutions to this epidemic happening in our schools. But I do know that we as teachers can make a difference by being alert, attentive, and aware of what is happening around us. We can be proactive by teaching and encouraging kindness. We can be assertive when we notice something happening and get those involved the help they need. While we may not be able to rid the world of bullying, we can certainly start a change within our own classrooms.

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Education for the Incarcerated

I stumbled across an article several months ago about a book club for prisoners. The article title and abstract caught my attention, but I didn’t have time to actually sit and read it. I bookmarked it and told myself that I’d return to it in a day or so. Turns out I forgot about it for quite some time until I rediscovered it a few days ago. Lucky for me, I had some time to sit and read through the article. I was intrigued by this concept of a book club for inmates— a chance for them to experience something that usually isn’t associated with life behind bars. 

The book club has been running for 15 semesters. They read a book a week, and books are chosen based on the theme that has been picked for the semester. Inmates read the books on their own, then come together to discuss what they read. 

The club facilitator is a volunteer, and the program is run through a local university. The university also facilities other programs for inmates, bringing higher education inside the walls of the prison. Their goal is to give inmates a chance to get ahead while they are incarcerated, with the hope that they will then use their education for good and turn their lives around once they are released. Research has shown that inmates who participate in some kind of educational program or class while incarcerated are much less likely to fall back into a life of crime one they are done with their sentence. 

Prison education programs go further than a book club, however. Most prisons offer opportunities for inmates to experience a wide range of educational pursuits. Programs might include basic literacy and GED programs, vocational training programs, and often college-level courses. Some prisons may also offer rehabilitation programs, which focus on behavioral interventions, life skills, and planning for life after prison. Arts and crafts programs are also often offered, giving inmates a chance to explore creative outlets. 

These educational programs provide inmates with an opportunity to choose— So much of an inmate’s life behind bars is controlled or mandated by things out of their control. They must adhere to schedules and other requirements, leaving little room for personal choice. 

One of the consequences associated with jail or prison time is losing the privilege to make individual choices— inmates don’t get to choose what they wear, where they sleep, who is in the cell next to them, and so on. In a world of so little choice, I can imagine that the ability to choose to be able to participate in educational programs is very welcomed. Sure, people end up behind bars because of choices they have made, but they are still people, and they still deserve a chance to reclaim their lives. 

Beyond reduced recidivism, prison education programs have other benefits. Upon release, inmates who have taken advantage of education opportunities may be more competitive in the job market, leading to increased chances of employment. Education programs can also lead to more positive and productive prisons, which could lead to safer environments for inmates. One of the biggest benefits of education behind bars is the boost to mental health that comes from these programs. Inmates who are actively enrolled in and benefiting from education programs are more likely to have better mental health— they feel a sense of empowerment and pride in their learning. New knowledge and skills lead to more productivity and can motivate people to continue learning. 

Imagine the positive impact on incarcerated persons who intentionally participate in the educational opportunities that are offered to them! Not only are they going to come out of prison with new skills and opportunities, but their time in prison can turn into something productive and meaningful. I love the idea of these opportunities for imprisoned individuals to better themselves, make progress, and eventually use their knowledge for good upon release. 

Many prison programs are run by volunteers and by monetary donations. If you’re able, check if your local jail or prison has educational programs available to its inmates and if they are in need of donations. It’s a good cause, and is one that benefits many!

You can read the article about the prison book club here.

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Humor in the Classroom

Teachers wear a lot of hats in the short amount of time they are with their students each day. At any given moment, they might be a teacher, a nurse, a disciplinarian, a peace maker, a counselor, or even a comedian or entertainer. This is only one of the ways that teachers are amazing. Elementary teachers especially find themselves switching hats frequently during the day. It’s quite the skill, and is very impressive. 

So often in a classroom, the need for humor or silliness arises. Obviously, teaching isn’t meant to be a comedy act every day, but when used at the right time, comedy can be a great tool. Think of the last time you laughed and how you felt afterwards. I’d bet that most people would say that they felt happier and less tense or stressed after laughing. 

Using humor in the classroom can do a lot for the overall feeling in the room, and can help put people at ease. Humor can be used in many ways and in many situations, such as using it to diffuse a tense situation, make a point, bond with students, or help students remember something you’re teaching. 

Saying or doing something funny can help students feel more at ease. I remember several times using humor to try help lighten the mood in the room right before I handed out tests. While I wanted my students to focus on the test and do their best, I also wanted them to know that the test wasn’t the most important thing in their lives. I also recall times where I was feeling grumpy, tired, or otherwise just not in the mood to be in the classroom. Those times were usually when a student would execute a perfectly timed joke or funny comment, and the result was almost always a happier mood in the room.

Using humor or silliness to illustrate a point or concept can be very effective. When there is an emotion tied to something, there is a greater likelihood that the brain will remember it. When my seventh graders were learning when and where to use each kind of punctuation mark, we watched a short video of Victor Borge, who had created a sound for each punctuation mark. Every time he got to a comma, he would make a specific sound, and would make a different sound every time he got to a period, and so on. (If you want to watch it, click here.) After watching the video, I had students create their own “punctuation sounds” for a reading passage and perform them for the class. The amount of laughter was great that day, and the students talked about it all year long. 

It can feel a bit vulnerable for some people to stand in front of a room and act silly or try to use humor. But, if students see you laughing and making the best of a situation, they are more likely to respond with the same vibe. So many students gather information on the mood in the room, and respond accordingly. 

While humor can be a very effective teaching tool, it’s important to keep in mind that it ought not be used to make light of a very serious situation or to ridicule or speak poorly of any group or individual. There is never a place for jokes, comments, or humor that targets a specific group or person, especially in a negative manner.

Silliness and humor don’t have to be used in every setting or situation, but when the time and place are appropriate, it can make a big difference for all involved. After all, laughter is the best medicine!

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What to do When Your Kid Won’t go to School

I have a kid who really struggles some mornings with wanting to go to school. Once he is there, he’s happy, helpful, and eager to learn. He has friends, gets along with everyone, and loves his teacher. It’s just the getting him there that is hard. I mean, I get it. Staying home and relaxing is pretty inviting— especially on these cold mornings! This particular child has struggled with this since preschool. I love that he wants to be home and wants to be around me, but I also know the importance of school. There is so much he gets from school that he wouldn’t get at home hanging out while mom works and does laundry. 

Last week I had to run something over to my preschooler at the school. I mentioned to the preschool teacher that I was frustrated with my second grader for refusing to come to school that day. She knew exactly what I was talking about— he was in her class when he was a preschooler, and she remembered many mornings when he fought going to her class. Without hesitation, she sprung into action. She asked who is current teacher is, and told me she would get in touch with her and make a plan. 

Today, I got an email describing a plan they had created that would hopefully help encourage my son to more willingly go to school. For every day that he goes to school without a fight, he gets to check off a box on a chart. Once he has filled in five boxes, he will get to spend 20 minutes in the preschool class helping the teacher and students. It’s brilliant! He is totally pumped about this plan, and is especially excited that he will get to go help in the preschool when his younger brother is there. It’s a win-win all around!

Now, I know this story is about my child, but I also know that I’m not the only parent who has a kid who struggles to want to go to school. I know my son’s teacher isn’t the only teacher who is trying to help their student feel loved and supported at school. I also know that coming up with a solution or a plan can feel overwhelming. Sometimes you don’t know where to start. 

So what do you do with a student or child who just doesn’t want to go to school? Below are a few ideas and steps to take if you find yourself in this situation!

  • First, find out why there is hesitation to go to school— are they being bullied? Are they scared or worried? Do they not understand what they’re being taught? Do they just really like to be at home? Are their favorite pants dirty and they don’t know what to wear? Did they forget to do their homework and are afraid of getting in trouble?
  • Once you identify the why, determine if the teacher needs to be involved. Obviously if there is bullying or curriculum concerns happening, contacting the teacher is crucial. 
  • Figure out what will motivate your child/student.
    • Create a sticker chart and work toward a reward.
    • Give the child a role or purpose at school that they need to be present for. 
    • Allow your child to take a “brave buddy” with them in their backpack— a small stuffy or object that will help them feel brave. 
    • Purchase or create some kind of matching bracelet or necklace— one for them to wear and one for you to wear so they can feel connected to you while they are away.
    • If you’re comfortable with it, draw a small heart or smiley face on one hand, and one on your child’s hand. Remind them that if they feel sad or miss you while they’re at school, they can look at or touch the little drawing and remember that you love them. 
  • Offer positive reinforcement and feedback! Praise your child for being brave and doing something that is hard for them. Make sure they know you are proud of them, and help them to feel proud of themselves.
  • Always listen to your intuition. Parents know their children best, and generally can tell if something is amiss. 

Having a child who fights going to school can be hard. It can be frustrating. I get it. But it is worth the fight to get them to school. Education is so important, and the earlier kids can understand that importance, the better!

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Parent Involvement and its Benefits

There are many different types of parents/guardians. They can range from the completely uninterested and uninvolved to the epitome of a helicopter parent, and everywhere in between. I don’t think there’s one “right” or “wrong” way to parent; everyone has their own style, and it often varies from kid to kid. There are obviously parents who are on the extreme ends of the spectrum, but I think that as long as you’re providing your children with the essentials— food, clothing, shelter, healthcare, and love— and not harming them, you’re doing a-okay. 

But I’m not here to tell you how to parent, or even to offer parenting tips and strategies. I’ll leave that to the parenting experts. I will, however, explore how parental involvement, or lack thereof, can impact a child. There are a lot of things that contribute to a child’s success and confidence, and parental involvement is pretty high up on that list. Before we dive into the why behind it, I want to add a disclaimer that I know not all kids have a parent present in their lives. I understand that all families are different. For the purposes of this article, I will use the term “parent” to describe any adult who is a guardian or caregiver to a child, in any capacity. 

Having the support of a parent figure can, and does, positively impact how a child performs in many areas of their life. Knowing that there is an adult who loves and supports them gives a child an increased sense of safety, belonging, confidence, and assurance. It’s similar to a tightrope walker knowing there is a safety net under them; they know if they fall, there will be something there to catch them and keep them safe. Kids who have positive adult supports know that there is someone there to catch them and help them. Being a child’s safety net is an important role. 

In my experience as a teacher, I noticed a large discrepancy between my students who had little to no parental support and those that did have parental support. I’m sure you can guess, but my students who didn’t have much support at home struggled academically. They often had lower grades, would struggle to keep up and learn the material, and often would be disorganized, unkempt, and would also frequently have behavior problems. On the other hand, students who did have parental support typically had higher grades, a more positive attitude, and less behavior problems. 

As I’ve thought about the why behind these discrepancies, I’ve realized that there’s not just one reason why parent involvement can impact a child so deeply. But what I do know is that if a child has someone at home who doesn’t show interest in what’s going on at school and isn’t aware of what’s happening in and out of school, that child is more likely to stop caring as well. If there isn’t anyone at home to answer to, many children see that as an opportunity to give minimal effort. I believe that often times, these decisions to not try or to act out in school or other areas are cries for help— a cry that they hope will gain any amount of attention from their parental figure(s). 

The reasons parents might not be involved can vary just as much as the types of parents out there. Some parents might not be involved by choice. Perhaps their parents didn’t care much about their academic success, and they choose to continue the cycle with their own kids. Involvement requires effort, and for some parents, it’s an effort that is beyond what they can or want to put forth. Other parents might find themselves in the midst of things out of their control— things like health problems or work responsibilities— and may wish that they were able to be more involved and present. Parents who have been pulled away from their children due to custody issues, incarceration, or other legal issues can find it difficult to be involved with their kids. Whatever the reason, these examples of lack of involvement can all have a negative impact on a child’s success to one degree or another. 

On the other hand, there are parents who are actively involved in their child’s life. They are at parent-teacher conferences, performances, games, concerts, appointments, and programs. They ask questions and are aware of the who, what, where, when, and whys of their child’s life. They help with homework and take interest in what they child is learning at school. They know about the report they are writing for English or the experiment they did in Biology that day. They chat with their kids while they make dinner, fold laundry, or drive to practice. The kids of these parents know that their parent(s) have their backs, and that they are willing to put forth the effort to help them succeed; those efforts are reflected in grades, confidence, and attitude. 

Now, I understand that not all parents are able to be involved in every second of their child’s life. I know that not all parents can make it to every game or performance. This doesn’t make them a bad parent. It doesn’t make them uninvolved. You can be an involved parent without being physically present at every event. Involvement looks different for every person. For some, it does mean attending everything. For others, it means asking questions and being aware. It can look like helping with homework in the evening. It can even look like a FaceTime call during an award assembly. You don’t have to be a helicopter parent to be involved. BUT— you do have to put forth some effort to be an active part of your child’s life. 

However you choose or are able to be involved in the life of your child, make it count. Make sure your child knows you support them, love them, care for them, and are there for them. Foster positive relationships, and you will create a bond that is strong between you and your child. No parent is perfect, and no parent can be to all the things all the time. But if there is a little effort involved, your child will feel it, and the positive impact will make itself known for years to come. 

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The Mid-Year Slump and Your Reasons for Teaching

The mid-year slump. You know what I’m talking about: motivation (for you and your students) seems to be declining, the weather is warming up and giving you a little tease of Spring Break, you’re tired of repeating the same instructions 50 times a day, and you’re getting really worn out from the incessant behavior problems that the same few students seem to bring with them. Some days it feels like you’re stuck in the movie Groundhog Day, on a never-ending repeat of the same shenanigans day after day. It’s exhausting. Some days you just want to quit and try again next year. 

I’ve been there. I get it. I know how frustrating it can be and how long the days start to feel. But I also know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and there are things you can do now to avoid feeling blah about the rest of the school year. One of those is to remember your “why.” You know, the reason you decided to become a teacher in the first place! The reason you are doing what you’re doing. 

The “why” can and does vary from person to person. I don’t think many teachers will claim it’s the pay that made them want to be a teacher— it’s no secret just how underpaid and overworked teachers are! I also don’t think many teachers would say that it was all the red tape, policies, and micromanaging that got them into the profession. It also likely wouldn’t be because you enjoy being on your feet all day with minimal bathroom breaks and a super short lunch. No, those can’t be the reasons. There’s certainly got to be more to it. Knowing that the above listed are natural parts of the job of a teacher, there’s most definitely a driving force behind becoming an educator.

Perhaps you wanted to share your passion for your content area. You just love the quadratic formula and calculating probability, reading and writing, the process of photosynthesis, a particular method of painting, or the history of European nations, and you wanted to share that excitement with young people. Whatever your content area, you know that it’s the best, and you want to spend your career helping others learn about it. 

Maybe you became a teacher because you were greatly impacted by one of your former teachers, and they inspired you to teach. Certain teachers can leave a lasting impression on your heart and mind, and that impression can motivate you to emulate that teacher. It’s possible that you were a young person who desperately needed a positive adult role model, and that came in the form of a teacher, and you now want to be that teacher for someone else.

Another reason people teach is to help shape and inspire the rising generation. You saw the teachers in movies like Akeelah and the Bee, Freedom Writers, Dead Poets Society, or Dangerous Minds, and you could see yourself being that person. You could see yourself being the adult that these young kids could rely on and look up to. You wanted to be a positive influence in their lives, and wanted to teach them more than academic concepts. 

Perhaps you became a teacher because you think kids are awesome, and you love to learn from them every day. Let’s face it: kids and teens are the best (most of the time at least). They are funny, smart, and innovative. They know how to boost your mood and mindset. Their natural curiosity is inspiring. They are energetic and fun to be around. Their comments and view on life can be profound. 

Whatever your reason for becoming an educator, it’s crucial to hang on to that “why” for the days that are just plain tough, and for the weeks and months that seem to drag on and on. Remembering your “why” can pull you out of a slump and re-motivate you to put a smile back on your face and finish the year with gusto. Sometimes we lose sight of the reasons we love what we do, but we can always remember and can use it to propel us forward. Because after all, teaching really is the greatest profession on the planet.