Category: Life Lessons

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Creating A Unified Classroom

My third period class on A-days was something special. We started off the year a little disorganized and unsure, but by the end of the first term, we had settled into a rhythm and were in a groove. The kids all got along well, supported each other, cared about their learning, and genuinely cared about each other. It was magical. It was a stark contrast to my fourth period on B-days, who quickly became the class that I had to mentally prep myself for the most— the kids didn’t get along very well, didn’t care if their classmates succeeded, and just plain didn’t care about much. 

As a teacher, I did my best to create a classroom community where all of my students felt safe, included, and supported. I taught the same material, assigned the same assignments, and was consistent in my management. The biggest difference between the two classes? The kids. The students in these two classes came to school each day with different attitudes toward learning. One class came ready to learn, ready to be engaged, and ready to help each other. The other rolled into class, counting down the minutes until the bell rang and they were done. It was every man for himself. 

It’s probably not a surprise that the overall success and grades of the first class was higher than that of the second. It’s amazing what can happen when students care about each other and encourage each other, especially in junior high. When an already vulnerable teen feels safe and supported by their peers, they are more willing to take risks and ask for help when they need it. They are more willing to learn from each other and share their knowledge with others. Confidence increases as students work together to learn. 

The question here, then, is how do we as teachers encourage a tight-knit classroom community? Often times, we can do all that we can, and if the kids just aren’t interested, we can only do so much. But sometimes, students can be encouraged and gently nudged into supporting each other. When we provide opportunities for students to work together and cheer each other on, we are working toward that community feeling. When we give kids the chance to feel like they matter and are safe, the walls start to come down, and they begin to build trust in their peers. This usually isn’t an automatic or natural thing for kids to do, but it is worth working toward. 

We can encourage a classroom community by modeling what that looks like. Share and celebrate successes. Demonstrate what it means to show up and support someone in a time of need. Teach your students to invest in each other by asking questions about their lives and interests. Model what it looks like to genuinely listen. Show how students can have a meaningful conversation where they both hear and are heard. Provide them with opportunities to engage with one another and work together. 

It might take some work and practice, but once they get the hang of it, you will see a difference in your students and the way they show up for class and in the way they treat each other. It’ll be worth it, and you won’t regret it!

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Life-Long Learning

My husband’s job has recently started requiring him to go into the office full time rather than work from home most of the week. We live over an hour from his office, so rather than driving by himself every day, he has opted to join the company vanpool. He now finds himself with anywhere from two to three hours total of commute time, sitting in the back of the van. Instead of wasting his time playing games on his phone, he’s decided to learn some new things. He has researched grilling techniques so that he can get the most use out of his new grill. He’s started learning a new language. He’s read informational articles on self-improvement. He’s proving that learning doesn’t have to stop once you leave formal schooling. 

The value of continued education is immeasurable, as are the things you can learn. The local university where I live offers adult continuing education classes each semester for anyone over 18 years old. The classes are either free or very low cost. They cover subjects like welding, dancing, all kinds of art, physical education, and so on. The goal isn’t to get a degree, but simply to learn a new skill. 

Learning new skills, information, or hobbies does wonders for our adult brains. It keeps them thinking and working. Research shows that continued learning allows brain cells to continue to stretch and grow. Learning improves the brain’s ability to remember things, giving you an edge as you age. Some studies even show that healthy brain activity can delay the onset of memory related conditions such as Alzheimer’s or dementia. 

Other benefits of life long learning include increased creativity, better mental flexibility, more creativity, greater self-confidence, increased career advancement opportunities, more fulfillment in your job and in life in general, increased personal growth, and increased motivation.

When you engage in adult education, you often have the chance to create new friendships and relationships, often leading to other opportunities. You might learn new ways to do things. Perhaps you might pick up a new skill that can benefit yourself or your family. Even if you aren’t pursuing further education for financial gain, learning and researching can prevent boredom, expand your interests, and make you a well-rounded thinker, none of which are bad things!

Just because you aren’t actively working toward a degree or any other kind of certificate, you don’t have to stop learning. Education is for everyone, and it provides both tangible and non-tangible benefits. You don’t have to sign up for a fancy class or spend tons of your free time learning— even a few minutes a day spent reading about a new topic can benefit your brain more than you’ll know. So the next time you find yourself with a few spare minutes, you might consider reading up on how to grow a successful garden or how to bake the perfect cheesecake rather than mindlessly scrolling social media. You’ll be surprised at what you learn, and your family will thank you when you put a slice of homemade cheesecake in front of them! 

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What I Wish I Would Have Known

It’s graduation season! It’s a bittersweet milestone, but is definitely one to be celebrated. I remember my graduation day, and remember feeling so anxious but excited. I had my whole life planned out, and I was just sure it was going to go exactly how I wanted it to: go to college with my best friend, find a good guy and get married by 23, graduate as a nurse, have some kids, and so on. Boy was I in for a surprise when my plans didn’t follow that timeline, nor did most of my plans actually happen. I went to a different college than my friend, switched majors from nursing to elementary education, back to nursing, then eventually got my degree in secondary education. I didn’t get married until I was 30, and the kids came soon after that. As I think back and reflect on how the last 23 years of my live have gone, I’m glad my original plans didn’t follow my timeline. I would have missed out on so many things that were crucial to me becoming who I am today. But man, sometimes I wish I could go back and tell my naive 18 year old self a thing or to to give her some advice and encouragement about the future.

I figured other people might feel the same way, and might have something to say to their 18 year old selves. I asked several people what they would tell themselves, if they knew then what they know now. The answers ranged from the silly and light hearted to the serious and profound. So seniors, this one’s for you– a little advice from people who have been there, done that, and want to pass on some words of wisdom!

  • Don’t rush growing up. You will never have it all figured out.
  • Trust your gut.
  • Travel more, work hard, don’t spend more than you earn, save, believe, and invest in yourself.
  • Every life event and breakup led me to my husband and life I have today, and I wouldn’t change that.
  • At 18, I didn’t know it would take me 10 more years to get married. Don’t worry about that.
  • Don’t open a credit card— save for what you want/need.
  • Love YOUR life. Don’t worry about what others say or do. Let them live the life they want. You choose you!
  • It’s okay to not know what you want to major in. It’s okay to switch majors— college is an investment. Make sure you are getting out of it what you want.
  • Not all friendships will last past graduation. That’s ok. There’s new friends out there.
  • You are worth it. You matter.
  • If college isn’t your thing, it’s ok. It doesn’t have to be. 
  • Spend time with those you love.
  • Never miss a chance to say thank you or I love you.
  • Take the risk— if it works out, awesome! If not, you learned from it and are better for it.
  • Make the effort to study and challenge yourself.
  • Advice given by others is second, learn to hear your own voice first and loudest.
  • It’s worth hanging around to see how the story ends.
  • The smart thing to do and the right thing to do are very rarely the same thing to do. But it never changes what the right thing to do is. Choose what is right. Always.
  • Take more pictures.
  • Always trust your instincts.
  • Apply for all the things! Enjoy everything!
  • Feeling dread all the time isn’t normal— it’s ok to get help if you need it.
  • Keep doing what makes yourself proud.
  • You’ll have so much more fun and peace if you don’t stress about dating. Don’t rush it!
  • Give yourself some grace.
  • You don’t have to have it all figured out at 18. The best is yet to come!
  • It’s ok to not know what you want.
  • Work on yourself— make yourself the kind of person you want to be.
  • Don’t be afraid. Go for it. If you fail, then try something else.
  • Try to save money.
  • Be smart with money.
  • Get the degree. Be able to support yourself.
  • If your friends are dragging you down, ditch them.
  • Don’t settle for less!
  • Be flexible— sometimes things don’t go the way you hoped they would, and you have to adapt and adjust. 
  • Look for the good in people.
  • Look for the good in every day. 
  • Be patient and the right partner will come when you are doing what you need to be doing.
  • Focus on figuring out what you want to do and work towards that goal.
  • Be gentle on yourself. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small.
  • You are doing amazing things.
  • You can do hard things.
  • Everyone you come across is fighting some kind of battle you know nothing about. Be kind.
  • Be patient with yourself and with others. We’re all doing the best we can.

Take a minute and reflect on your graduation day– what would you tell yourself?

Congratulations to the class of 2025! You did it!

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Teaching Kids About Courage

Trying new things is scary and hard sometimes! It doesn’t matter your age— the unknown can be intimidating. Picture books have a great way of teaching kids (and adults!) life lessons, including lessons about facing fears and having courage to try new things. While looking for some other books at the library the other day, I stumbled across a whole section of children’s books dedicated to this theme. 

So if you’re like me (or some of my kids) and need a reminder that sometimes being brave is scary, these books just might be for you! 

The Thing Lou Couldn’t Do by Ashley Spires

Lou is always up for big adventures with her friends… until they suggest that they play pirates up in a tree. Lou has never climbed a tree, and isn’t so sure about it. She finds all kinds of excuses to avoid climbing up to her friends, but when they all exclaim that the pirates need help, she knows she must give it a try. So she does, and she fails. After convincing herself that it’s not that she can’t climb the tree; it’s just that she doesn’t know how to yet. She decides that she will come back the next day and try again!

This story is perfect for talking to kids about being brave and trying again if it doesn’t work the first time. The illustrations are cute and well done.

The Magical Yet by Angela DiTerlizzi and illustrated by Lorena Alvarez

This book follows a young girl who just can’t seem to figure out how to ride a bike. She keeps trying, and keeps failing. She wants to give up… until the magical Yet shows up. With Yet, she can start to see that her dreams will come true, for Yet is a dreamer, maker, and one who finds a way. Yet is patient and encouraging when failures happen. Yet doesn’t give up! With Yet by her side, she learns to keep pushing forward and eventually gets to be where she wants to be.

This book is written in rhyme format, and is catchy and fun to read. The words flow well, and the illustrations are magical. It gives you the perfect dose of courage, knowing that your own personal Yet is right by your side as you try new things.

Jabari Jumps by Gaia Cornwall

Jabari, his dad, and little sister head to the pool. Jabari tells his dad that he is going to jump off the diving board today. His dad offers encouragement and cheers him on. As Jabari gets closer to the diving board, he realizes how high it really is. He begins to come up with excuses and reasons to not try. His dad gives him a pep talk and tells him to take a deep breath and tell himself he is ready. Jabari follows his dad’s advice and begins the climb up the ladder. He got to the edge of the board, took a deep breath, and told himself he felt ready. He took the leap and discovered it was really fun! The book ends with him telling his dad that he’ll do a double backflip next.

The pictures in this book are wonderful, and the story line is perfect for teaching kids about how to work up the courage to try something new.

Jabari Tries by Gaia Cornwall

Jabari is back, but this time, he is determined to make a little machine that can fly across his backyard. Everything he tries doesn’t work. He’s getting frustrated and wants to give up. When his dad comes and gives him a little pep talk, he tells Jabari to “gather up all his patience, take a deep breath, and blow away all the mixed feelings inside.” Together with his little sister as his helper, Jabari gets the courage to try again. He gives it one more try, and this time, it works! He is proud of himself for not giving up and for having the courage to finish what he started.

One of the most important lessons to learn as a child is to have courage and be brave. We’re all faced with tricky situations, but being brave can change everything. These picture books all do an excellent job of illustrating just that. These books would be great to read with a class at the beginning or end of the year as kids head into a new season and part of their life!

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Teens Really Are Pretty Cool

I was mindlessly scrolling social media when I came across a reel that had the caption, “What I won’t forget about being your teacher.” The caption grabbed my attention, and I was partly expecting to hear a story about students who caused such havoc that the teacher would never forget them. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find the opposite. The teacher in the reel recounted two different stories where students stepped up and stepped in. So there I was, sitting at my table eating my lunch, suddenly crying about these kids I’ve never even met! Teaching is like that— you become part of a community of people with shared experiences, and your heart is reminded of the things you also experienced as a teacher. It’s really quite beautiful. 

In the first story shared, the teacher shared of a time when he allowed students to pick their own seats for the last term. As the kids settled into their new seats, he noticed that there was one boy left at a table by himself. He wasn’t sure how he was going to handle this without embarrassing the student or creating a scene. Thankfully, his worry was calmed by another student who saw the need, and quietly went to sit with the lonely student. Together, they spent the last term of chemistry class at that table, just the two of them. Crisis averted, and no one was left alone. 

In the second story, he shared a story about when he was chaperoning a high school dance. He looked down the hall to see a girl, sitting on the floor, completely alone, and looking quite distressed. Again, worried about how to approach this, he contemplated what to do. However, once again, another student saved the day. Another girl, by her own choice, came to the rescue, approached the girl on the floor, and spent the next little while talking with her. 

In addition to being deeply touched by these two stories that he shared, I was reminded that, so often, teenagers get a really bad rap. And while there are some kids who are the reason that bad rap exists, there are a ton others who prove the bad rap to be incorrect. Teenagers really are cool kids, and have so much to give. 

I was reminded of a time during my years teaching when I asked students to pull out a piece of paper and a pencil. Students hurriedly rifled through their backpacks and binders to find what they needed. One student, typically disheveled and unprepared, sat there, looking a bit panicked. Without hesitation, the girl next to him quietly and kindly set a piece of paper and pencil on his desk, turned back around, and sat patiently while she waited for my instructions.

Another time, I asked students to get into small groups to complete an assignment. I watched as they quickly formed their groups, with the groupings being exactly as I had thought they would be. Unfortunately, there were a couple of students left out, clearly feeling out of place and not sure what to do. Thankfully, there was a group of boys who saw a need and acted. They invited the un-grouped kids to join their group, and everyone was included. 

One experience that comes to mind is a personal one. My family moved to a new state as I was entering my junior in high school, and I often found myself feeling very alone. This was amplified when I was somehow put into a U.S. Government class full of seniors, non of whom I knew. I was so grateful for the students who sat near me who took it upon themselves to make sure I was included, seen, and heard. I don’t remember their names, but I do remember their kindnesses toward me. 

Time after time, I saw things like this happening in my classroom. Time after time, I was reminded that teenagers really aren’t all they are made out to be. Sure, sometimes they are a bit aloof and unkind, but that’s because they are teenagers. They are still learning how to be people. But underneath it all, they are kind, thoughtful, and observant. The future is in good hands with this generation of kids!

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A Letter to Sports Parents

Dear Sports Parents,

I promise you that the crazy, chaotic schedules are worth it. The nights you spend in your car, shuttling kids from one practice or game to another, they aren’t a waste of time. The time you spend away from your house, eating dinner on the run, is time well spent. It might not seem like it in the moment, but it is. Your kids may not seem grateful for the sacrifices you are making on their behalf, but one day they will understand. 

That loss that your son’s soccer game had the other night was tough, for sure. But it provided your son with experience, opportunity, and growth. It gave him a chance to practice being a good sport, learning from mistakes, and thinking about how he can improve. 

When your daughter made the drill team, but her best friends didn’t, it was a bittersweet moment for you both. It gave you a chance to talk about being proud of your accomplishments, but not rubbing it in people’s faces. It gave her an opportunity to practice empathy and kindness. 

When your daughter’s basketball team took state, you celebrated. You celebrated the long days/nights of practices, the time spent in the bleachers cheering her and her team on, and the growth you’ve seen in her as she’s played. You celebrated her win because you know it’s important to her, and you know how hard she’s worked for it. You celebrated that she was able to see her hard work pay off.

When your son didn’t make the football team, you cried with him after he found out. You told him how proud you were of him for giving it his best shot. You didn’t tell him that things were going to be okay and that he could always try next year. Instead, you let him feel what he felt, and allowed him to grieve what he didn’t get. You supported him and loved him and encouraged him. When he is ready to try again, he’ll let you know. Until then, you keep loving him and cheering him on in whatever he does. 

When all five of your kids wanted to sign up for sports, and they all overlapped, making your schedule a million times more hectic, you did it anyway. You’ll figure out the transportation and time issue later. For now, you’re giving them all a chance to try something out, take a risk, and learn from their experiences. You’re showing them that you believe in them.

You do all of this because you know the amazing benefits that come from kids being on a sports team. Sure, there are the physical benefits of movement, exercise, and strength. But on a less tangible note, the life skills they learn are innumerable. They learn things on the field, in the studio, or in the pool that can’t be taught as effectively in a classroom. Studies have shown that kids who participate in some kind of sports-related activity actually end up doing better academically. Sports give kids the opportunity to learn how to work as a team and how to be a good teammate. Kids learn about sportsmanship. They learn to support and cheer on their peers. They learn that winning isn’t everything. They become more confident. They learn what they are capable of, and how to push themselves beyond what they thought was possible. Sports allow kids to take risks and try new things. Friendships are formed, lessons learned, and new skills are gained. 

So yes, being a parent of a kid (or kids) in sports can be exhausting. It’s time consuming. It can be financially straining at times. But it’s so worth it. The effort you put forth in supporting them is never wasted, and will have lasting effects. So the next time you find yourself scarfing down a protein bar as you drive your son to practice, then race across town to pick your daughter up from her game, remember what you’re doing is important, and is totally worth the sacrifice.

Sincerely,

A fellow sports parent and former teacher

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Hard Skills vs. Soft Skills- Do Both Matter?

Schools are an excellent place for teaching important (some crucial), measurable skills like reading, math, science, other technical skills, and so on. These kinds of skills are called hard skills, and are pretty easy to track progress in— there are clear, definitive answers and methods to how these skills are learned and carried out. Other learned skills, however, don’t have answers and methods that are quite so cut and dry. These are referred to as soft skills— behavioral traits like leadership, time management, communication skills, critical thinking, and problem solving, among others. 

Should schools be responsible for teaching both kinds of skills? I think they already partially are. I believe that when you teach hard skills, the soft skills sometimes just naturally work their way into the teaching and learning. For example, if you are teaching a science concept, and students are put into groups to do an experiment, they will naturally be forced to use problem solving, team work, communication, and other soft skills. 

Soft skills are equally as important (if not more so in some situations) as hard skills are. In fact, many employers today tend to favor soft skill knowledge over hard skill knowledge. In a digital world where people are spending less time interacting face to face, employers today need people who can take responsibility, lead a team, communicate, and effectively solve problems. 

If employers are favoring soft skills over hard skills, then how do we as teachers ensure that we are providing opportunities for our students to learn these important soft skills that will aid them as they grow, progress, and eventually enter the adult world? Like was mentioned before, a lot of it stems from things that are already happening in our classrooms. So many of the activities and projects we ask students to take part in naturally lend themselves to teaching these crucial soft skills. Group work encourages communication and leadership. Reports and presentations give students a chance to practice leadership and communication skills. Word problems and other kinds of problems allow students to use critical thinking skills. Larger projects provide excellent lessons and chances to learn time management and organization skills. 

Soft skills can even be learned outside of the classroom, in places like home, church, or while doing a sport. Sports provide many valuable opportunities for soft skill attainment, and can teach those skills in ways unlike anything else. Parents can encourage their children to learn and practice soft skills within the walls of their homes by providing children with opportunities to lead family meetings, do chores, work as a team with siblings, or manage and balance their activities and time. Church groups can also provide great opportunities for kids to learn communication skills, leadership skills, and empathy.

While some children are seemingly born with natural soft skills, others need to be taught. As adults, we ought to do our best to encourage and teach the youth of today these soft skills that will greatly aid them in the coming years. Our future selves will thank us later.