Category: Life Lessons

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Hard Skills vs. Soft Skills- Do Both Matter?

Schools are an excellent place for teaching important (some crucial), measurable skills like reading, math, science, other technical skills, and so on. These kinds of skills are called hard skills, and are pretty easy to track progress in— there are clear, definitive answers and methods to how these skills are learned and carried out. Other learned skills, however, don’t have answers and methods that are quite so cut and dry. These are referred to as soft skills— behavioral traits like leadership, time management, communication skills, critical thinking, and problem solving, among others. 

Should schools be responsible for teaching both kinds of skills? I think they already partially are. I believe that when you teach hard skills, the soft skills sometimes just naturally work their way into the teaching and learning. For example, if you are teaching a science concept, and students are put into groups to do an experiment, they will naturally be forced to use problem solving, team work, communication, and other soft skills. 

Soft skills are equally as important (if not more so in some situations) as hard skills are. In fact, many employers today tend to favor soft skill knowledge over hard skill knowledge. In a digital world where people are spending less time interacting face to face, employers today need people who can take responsibility, lead a team, communicate, and effectively solve problems. 

If employers are favoring soft skills over hard skills, then how do we as teachers ensure that we are providing opportunities for our students to learn these important soft skills that will aid them as they grow, progress, and eventually enter the adult world? Like was mentioned before, a lot of it stems from things that are already happening in our classrooms. So many of the activities and projects we ask students to take part in naturally lend themselves to teaching these crucial soft skills. Group work encourages communication and leadership. Reports and presentations give students a chance to practice leadership and communication skills. Word problems and other kinds of problems allow students to use critical thinking skills. Larger projects provide excellent lessons and chances to learn time management and organization skills. 

Soft skills can even be learned outside of the classroom, in places like home, church, or while doing a sport. Sports provide many valuable opportunities for soft skill attainment, and can teach those skills in ways unlike anything else. Parents can encourage their children to learn and practice soft skills within the walls of their homes by providing children with opportunities to lead family meetings, do chores, work as a team with siblings, or manage and balance their activities and time. Church groups can also provide great opportunities for kids to learn communication skills, leadership skills, and empathy.

While some children are seemingly born with natural soft skills, others need to be taught. As adults, we ought to do our best to encourage and teach the youth of today these soft skills that will greatly aid them in the coming years. Our future selves will thank us later.

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Preparing Today’s Youth for Adulthood

The other day, I was taking a much needed break, mindlessly scrolling through Facebook, and stopped when I saw a meme one of my good friends had posted. I chuckled as I read the meme: “I’m glad I learned about parallelograms in high school instead of how to do my taxes. It comes in handy during parallelogram season.” 

It’s funny because it’s true— I remember sitting in some of my high school classes thinking about how I would likely never use some of the things I was being taught. I honestly don’t remember the last time I had to use the quadratic formula or had to recall the steps/process of photosynthesis. Unless you enter a career field that will use those specific skills and bits of knowledge, you likely won’t use them much in your adult life (or at least until your kids come home from school needing help on their homework!). 

When I was in high school, the requirements to graduate didn’t include any kind of class that taught life skills type of content. You know, the stuff that you use on a fairly regular basis as an adult— budgeting, retirement/savings plans, household tasks like cooking, cleaning, and laundry, basic car maintenance, simple household fixes, basic sewing, and so on. Had my parents not done a pretty good job teaching me these skills, I would have been pretty lost when I moved out on my own. While a good majority of high school students have a parent or guardian they can turn to with life skills questions, many do not. What if, rather than expecting kids to just suddenly know how to be an adult and take care of adult responsibilities, we teach them how to do this and require them to take a class covering these skills prior to graduating?

I know there are many elective courses students can take that teach them these basic life skills. But they are just that— elective. Not every student is going to choose to take a sewing or cooking class. Not every student will want to sit through a financial literacy course. However, I am certain that if they were required to do so, they would come out on the other side more equipped to enter the adult world and carry adult-level responsibilities. 

There are many students who would greatly benefit from a course like this. It would provide an excellent opportunity for kids to get hands-on experience with the skills necessary for adult life while still under the care of an experienced adult, and would also give them the chance to make mistakes and learn from them before the cost of said mistakes is higher. 

I am sure there are already high schools out there who are integrating some kind of adult-readiness courses, and that’s amazing! It would be even more amazing if all schools nation wide would see the value of such a course and would add it to the list of required courses prior to graduation. Besides, I think it would be a fun class to take— and teach!

When we equip the next generation with the tools they will need in life, they will enter the adult world more confident, more knowledgeable, and more prepared to take on the responsibilities that come with being an adult, and that’s something that we can all benefit from. Knowledge is power, so let’s do our best to arm our students with the knowledge they need to succeed!

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Parent Involvement and its Benefits

There are many different types of parents/guardians. They can range from the completely uninterested and uninvolved to the epitome of a helicopter parent, and everywhere in between. I don’t think there’s one “right” or “wrong” way to parent; everyone has their own style, and it often varies from kid to kid. There are obviously parents who are on the extreme ends of the spectrum, but I think that as long as you’re providing your children with the essentials— food, clothing, shelter, healthcare, and love— and not harming them, you’re doing a-okay. 

But I’m not here to tell you how to parent, or even to offer parenting tips and strategies. I’ll leave that to the parenting experts. I will, however, explore how parental involvement, or lack thereof, can impact a child. There are a lot of things that contribute to a child’s success and confidence, and parental involvement is pretty high up on that list. Before we dive into the why behind it, I want to add a disclaimer that I know not all kids have a parent present in their lives. I understand that all families are different. For the purposes of this article, I will use the term “parent” to describe any adult who is a guardian or caregiver to a child, in any capacity. 

Having the support of a parent figure can, and does, positively impact how a child performs in many areas of their life. Knowing that there is an adult who loves and supports them gives a child an increased sense of safety, belonging, confidence, and assurance. It’s similar to a tightrope walker knowing there is a safety net under them; they know if they fall, there will be something there to catch them and keep them safe. Kids who have positive adult supports know that there is someone there to catch them and help them. Being a child’s safety net is an important role. 

In my experience as a teacher, I noticed a large discrepancy between my students who had little to no parental support and those that did have parental support. I’m sure you can guess, but my students who didn’t have much support at home struggled academically. They often had lower grades, would struggle to keep up and learn the material, and often would be disorganized, unkempt, and would also frequently have behavior problems. On the other hand, students who did have parental support typically had higher grades, a more positive attitude, and less behavior problems. 

As I’ve thought about the why behind these discrepancies, I’ve realized that there’s not just one reason why parent involvement can impact a child so deeply. But what I do know is that if a child has someone at home who doesn’t show interest in what’s going on at school and isn’t aware of what’s happening in and out of school, that child is more likely to stop caring as well. If there isn’t anyone at home to answer to, many children see that as an opportunity to give minimal effort. I believe that often times, these decisions to not try or to act out in school or other areas are cries for help— a cry that they hope will gain any amount of attention from their parental figure(s). 

The reasons parents might not be involved can vary just as much as the types of parents out there. Some parents might not be involved by choice. Perhaps their parents didn’t care much about their academic success, and they choose to continue the cycle with their own kids. Involvement requires effort, and for some parents, it’s an effort that is beyond what they can or want to put forth. Other parents might find themselves in the midst of things out of their control— things like health problems or work responsibilities— and may wish that they were able to be more involved and present. Parents who have been pulled away from their children due to custody issues, incarceration, or other legal issues can find it difficult to be involved with their kids. Whatever the reason, these examples of lack of involvement can all have a negative impact on a child’s success to one degree or another. 

On the other hand, there are parents who are actively involved in their child’s life. They are at parent-teacher conferences, performances, games, concerts, appointments, and programs. They ask questions and are aware of the who, what, where, when, and whys of their child’s life. They help with homework and take interest in what they child is learning at school. They know about the report they are writing for English or the experiment they did in Biology that day. They chat with their kids while they make dinner, fold laundry, or drive to practice. The kids of these parents know that their parent(s) have their backs, and that they are willing to put forth the effort to help them succeed; those efforts are reflected in grades, confidence, and attitude. 

Now, I understand that not all parents are able to be involved in every second of their child’s life. I know that not all parents can make it to every game or performance. This doesn’t make them a bad parent. It doesn’t make them uninvolved. You can be an involved parent without being physically present at every event. Involvement looks different for every person. For some, it does mean attending everything. For others, it means asking questions and being aware. It can look like helping with homework in the evening. It can even look like a FaceTime call during an award assembly. You don’t have to be a helicopter parent to be involved. BUT— you do have to put forth some effort to be an active part of your child’s life. 

However you choose or are able to be involved in the life of your child, make it count. Make sure your child knows you support them, love them, care for them, and are there for them. Foster positive relationships, and you will create a bond that is strong between you and your child. No parent is perfect, and no parent can be to all the things all the time. But if there is a little effort involved, your child will feel it, and the positive impact will make itself known for years to come. 

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The Mid-Year Slump and Your Reasons for Teaching

The mid-year slump. You know what I’m talking about: motivation (for you and your students) seems to be declining, the weather is warming up and giving you a little tease of Spring Break, you’re tired of repeating the same instructions 50 times a day, and you’re getting really worn out from the incessant behavior problems that the same few students seem to bring with them. Some days it feels like you’re stuck in the movie Groundhog Day, on a never-ending repeat of the same shenanigans day after day. It’s exhausting. Some days you just want to quit and try again next year. 

I’ve been there. I get it. I know how frustrating it can be and how long the days start to feel. But I also know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and there are things you can do now to avoid feeling blah about the rest of the school year. One of those is to remember your “why.” You know, the reason you decided to become a teacher in the first place! The reason you are doing what you’re doing. 

The “why” can and does vary from person to person. I don’t think many teachers will claim it’s the pay that made them want to be a teacher— it’s no secret just how underpaid and overworked teachers are! I also don’t think many teachers would say that it was all the red tape, policies, and micromanaging that got them into the profession. It also likely wouldn’t be because you enjoy being on your feet all day with minimal bathroom breaks and a super short lunch. No, those can’t be the reasons. There’s certainly got to be more to it. Knowing that the above listed are natural parts of the job of a teacher, there’s most definitely a driving force behind becoming an educator.

Perhaps you wanted to share your passion for your content area. You just love the quadratic formula and calculating probability, reading and writing, the process of photosynthesis, a particular method of painting, or the history of European nations, and you wanted to share that excitement with young people. Whatever your content area, you know that it’s the best, and you want to spend your career helping others learn about it. 

Maybe you became a teacher because you were greatly impacted by one of your former teachers, and they inspired you to teach. Certain teachers can leave a lasting impression on your heart and mind, and that impression can motivate you to emulate that teacher. It’s possible that you were a young person who desperately needed a positive adult role model, and that came in the form of a teacher, and you now want to be that teacher for someone else.

Another reason people teach is to help shape and inspire the rising generation. You saw the teachers in movies like Akeelah and the Bee, Freedom Writers, Dead Poets Society, or Dangerous Minds, and you could see yourself being that person. You could see yourself being the adult that these young kids could rely on and look up to. You wanted to be a positive influence in their lives, and wanted to teach them more than academic concepts. 

Perhaps you became a teacher because you think kids are awesome, and you love to learn from them every day. Let’s face it: kids and teens are the best (most of the time at least). They are funny, smart, and innovative. They know how to boost your mood and mindset. Their natural curiosity is inspiring. They are energetic and fun to be around. Their comments and view on life can be profound. 

Whatever your reason for becoming an educator, it’s crucial to hang on to that “why” for the days that are just plain tough, and for the weeks and months that seem to drag on and on. Remembering your “why” can pull you out of a slump and re-motivate you to put a smile back on your face and finish the year with gusto. Sometimes we lose sight of the reasons we love what we do, but we can always remember and can use it to propel us forward. Because after all, teaching really is the greatest profession on the planet.

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Letting Kids Fail

My third grader is given a weekly homework sheet, with one side math practice and the other reading practice. Sometimes the reading assignment is to read a passage and answer some comprehension questions, and sometimes it involves reading as much of a passage as possible in one minute, on four separate occasions, while having an adult follow along and count any errors made. The teacher sends the paper home on Monday, and it is due on Friday. With four days given to finish the assignment, you’d think it wouldn’t be a problem to complete it. 

By Thursday night, after my husband and I have both asked (and offered to sit down with him while he does it) our son what feels like 182 times to get his worksheet done, we are tired of asking and have started to feel like we are nagging him. One week last month, he dragged his feet, as usual, and was in a panic on Thursday night when he still hadn’t finished his assignment. Of course it was a week where he had to read a passage four different times, and we were running out of time. Around 10:00 pm, we finally just told him to go to bed and we could try again in the morning. 

Morning came, and he still had zero interest in finishing his work. Out of time and energy, I told him to put his paper in his backpack and just turn in what he did have done. We talked about who was responsible for the assignment being incomplete, and what he needed to do about it. He admitted it was on him, and that he should have done it when we first asked him to. I sent him out the door and hoped for the best.

The protective mom in me wanted to keep him home until he finished it so that he wouldn’t lose points on the assignment. How could I let my own child fail? He’s only nine, after all. As I battled internally for a few minutes, a little voice inside reminded me that failing is part of life. We all have to learn by failing at some point in our lives. Is it a hard lesson to learn? Absolutely. Is it a necessary lesson to learn? 100%. 

As a mom and former teacher, I know how hard it is hard to watch the kids you love fall short. It’s hard to watch them struggle. When our kids are younger, we are there to swoop in and fix things for them. We keep them in a little bubble of sorts to keep them safe and protected. But as they get older, we can’t continue to solve all their problems and keep them in a bubble. As parents (and teachers), it is our job to set up our children for success in life, and one of those crucial lessons to teach is that failure is inevitable, and that it’s okay to fall short sometimes. We must give them the tools they will need for when they do fail so that they can appropriately adjust and find ways to regroup, rethink, and try again. 

So while I wanted desperately to save my son from not getting full points on his homework assignment, I also wanted desperately to teach my son that our actions and choices very often determine our success, and that failure is part of life. I wanted him to know that it’s not the end of the world to mess up on one assignment, and that he could try again next week, learning from his previous experience. I wanted him to know that how we handle failure is important and how we choose to do better the next time is what matters the most. 

As parents and teachers, we’re faced with some pretty tough internal battles. We naturally want to protect the kids we love, but also need to remember that sometimes too much protection and sheltering ultimately doesn’t help, but hinders. We must find a balance between the two and hope we are giving our children and students what they’ll need to succeed in school and in life.