Bullying is Never the Answer

If you’ve been in the classroom for any length of time, you have likely witnessed first hand just how mean and destructive bullies can be. It’s a problem that seems to have existed for as long as humans have been around, and it doesn’t seem to be going away anytime soon. In fact, it’s becoming more prominent with social media being so accessible. Students need to understand  that bullying is never ok and is never the answer. The repercussions of being the target of a bully are long lasting and can be quite detrimental to a person’s health, confidence, and self image. 

As teachers, it is crucial that if we see something, we say something, and that we teach our students to do the same. We need to teach our students what bullying is, what it can look like, how it feels to be the victim, and how to address it when/if we see it happening. I found a few picture books that did a great job of teaching these concepts— take a look!

Giraffe is Left Out written by Sue Craves, illustrated by Trevor Dunton

Giraffe, Little Lion, and Monkey are all friends. When Leopard moves into their class, Giraffe is not excited. He does not want to let Leopard join their friend group, and purposely excludes Leopard from any and all activities. Leopard is sad and feels left out. When it comes time to pass out invitations to his birthday party, Leopard gives one to everyone else, but doesn’t give one to Giraffe. Now Giraffe is the one who feels left out. Soon, he begins to understand just how mean it is to leave people out, and he learns that Leopard is actually a really good friend. Giraffe mends his ways and becomes a friend to Leopard in the end.

I liked how this book showed that excluding people is a form of bullying, and that it can be hurtful to others.

Billy Bully by Alvaro & Ana Galan, illustrated by Steve Simpson

When Billy Bully comes to the playground to play with the other kids, he takes over and makes the fun go away. He takes toys, cuts in line, pushes, breaks others’ things, tricks people, and won’t take turns. No one wants to play with him. With every mean thing he does, another kid leaves the playground. Soon, he is left with no one to play with, and he starts to realize that the things he was doing weren’t nice. One by one, he goes to his friends and apologizes and makes up for the things he had done. Soon, all the kids have come back to play together.

The illustrations in this book are so cute, and the story is easy to follow. There is also a counting element as Bully’s friends leave and come back one by one. I loved how it depicted several ways that someone can be a bully to help kids understand that bullying can take on many forms.

Eddie the Bully written and illustrated by Henry Cole

Eddie is mean, mean, mean. He says unkind things about his friends, teases them, ruins their art projects, and more. No one likes to play with him. He’s always picked last for teams, left out of the fun, and ignored. When Carla, a new girl, moves into their class, she is assigned to sit right next to Eddie. Everyone expects Eddie to say and do mean things to her, but before he has the chance, Carla compliments Eddie on his sweater and tells him that everyone must want to be his friend! Eddie is unsure what to say to this, because he knows that it isn’t true. Carla asks Eddie to help her make new friends, and Eddie agrees. He quickly learns that it feels good to be nice, so he changes his ways and starts over, this time, being a friend to everyone.

Similar to Billy Bully, this story shows different ways that bullying can happen, helping kids to understand that bullying isn’t just one thing.

Bullies Never Win by Margery Cuyler, illustrated by Arthur Howard

Jessica is a first grader who worries about a lot of things, one of which is Brenda, a girl at school who likes to bully and be mean. Brenda finds a way to make fun of everything Jessica does, so Jessica slowly stops doing all the things she loves to do. Jessica finally has had enough and breaks down crying to her mom. Her mom suggests that she stand up for herself or tell their teacher. Jessica is worried about what she will do or say to Brenda to make her stop being a bully. The next day at lunch, Brenda continues to tease and say mean things. Jessica has had enough, and stands up and tells Brenda that, “… bullies never win!” Brenda is embarrassed and doesn’t say anything else to Jessica. That night, Jessica feels proud of herself for standing up to Brenda.

I loved how this story showed how to stand up to a bully. It was an empowering story!

Bully written and illustrated by Jennifer Sattler

Bully is a bull frog, and he wants all the lily pads on the pond all for himself. He won’t let any other pond friends eat them, smell them, or look at them. Soon, he has chased everyone away and is all alone. There is only one flower left, and he wants it just for himself, so he sits on it to protect it. A bee comes up to him and tries to save the flower by reminding Bully that he’s sitting on it. Bully is mean and asks the bee what he’s going to do about it. The bee has an idea, and buzzes away to gather his friends. Together they reclaim the pond and chase Bully away. The lilies begin to grow again, and the pond is back to its thriving self. Bully moves to a new pond, but is sad to see that it’s just a pond of mud, and he is all alone. Still, all he cares about is that the pond is all his.

This story showed that it can be powerful to stand up to a bully as a group— strength in numbers. 

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Bullying is never the answer, and students need to know that. These books do a great job of teaching that and showing that bullying can take on many forms. Bullying is a problem that many kids will face, either directly or indirectly, and it’s important that students be equipped with the tools they need to stand up to bullies and speak up when they see it happening. We may not be able to completely eradicate bullying from our schools, but we can certainly make a difference by teaching our students to respect and watch out for one another.

One Size Fits Most Doesn’t Work in the Classroom

Last week, while getting my kids ready for school, I checked my weather app to see what the day was going to look like. I was shocked to see that it was a mere 30 degrees Fahrenheit outside, and that it wasn’t going to get warmer than the high 40s during the day. I wasn’t prepared for such low temperatures quite yet, so I sent my husband down to dig out our winter bin. In a frenzy, we began digging through the bin, searching for the appropriate sizes of coats and gloves we would need to keep our kids warm. We were soon met with a pile of gloves of varying sizes and colors. The tags on each glove were ominously labeled with the ever so (not so) precise “one size fits most” sizing. All the gloves were youth sized, yet they were all different sizes, but all labeled that they would fit most kids. The problem with that sizing? My ten year old’s hands are much larger than my four and five year old’s hands. So no, one size didn’t fit most, and it left some of my kids with floppy-fingered or stretched to the max gloves. 

At least they had something on their hands, though, right? I guess.

We frequently see a similar problem in education. So often, we deliver instruction and curriculum that is sized as “one size fits all”, when really, it doesn’t fit all in the same way. Our instruction may fit “most” and might serve the middle ground of our classroom, but there will always be students who don’t fit into that middle ground. Teachers will encounter students who are accelerated learners, needing more of a challenge than their peers. On the other end of the spectrum, teachers will have students who find the material too challenging and sometimes inaccessible entirely. It creates a tricky situation.

As teachers, we have the responsibility to see that all of our students are making progress, regardless of their intellectual abilities. And if a student is not making the progress that would be expected, the best practice would be to get that student placed in the most appropriate learning environment with the kind of help they might need.

With upwards of 40 students in a classroom for some teachers, what do you do for those students who don’t fit into the “most” category of your curriculum sizing? Making 40 different assignments wouldn’t be realistic, and you certainly can’t just leave them behind— the repercussions of such an action would be frustrating and discouraging for the students who get left behind. 

When we are faced with situations like this, we have to think back to our college days when we were learning all about differentiation and accommodation. We’ve got to pull that mental file out of the back of our minds, dust it off, and figure out ways to best serve our students. 

How we do that looks different for each student that needs different instruction. One student might need a reduced number of questions on a test. Another might need questions worded differently and more simply. One might need more rigorous work, requiring a higher level of thinking. Some students may need an assignment that is completely different than the rest of the class, but still assesses the same learning goals. 

I recall a time during my first year of teaching when I had a student who had just moved to the United States. Her knowledge and understanding of the English language was very limited. She most certainly did not fit into the “most” category. When it came time to do a class novel study, rather than expecting her to be able to read and understand the novel in English, I was able to find the novel in her native language, and give her assignment that had been translated into her language. This way, she was able to still participate and learn the concepts we were focusing on, but it was accessible to her and what she needed. 

Another time comes to mind later in my teaching career when I had a student who was very much academically ahead of her peers. Unfortunately, her schedule didn’t work out to have her placed in my accelerated class. Rather than have her get bored with what I was teaching her class period, I assigned her what I was teaching to the accelerated class. Again, she still was able to participate and learn what I needed her to, but it was at her level and gave her the appropriate amount of challenge. 

If a student was on an IEP and had specific goals about test accommodations or differentiation, I would often reduce the number of questions they had to answer so that the test didn’t feel so overwhelming. Sometimes I would eliminate questions on assignments or rewrite them in a simpler way to help my struggling students to be able to access the information more easily.

These things didn’t take a lot of extra time for me to do, but they made a world of difference to the students who needed the help. Some of my other students would see these accommodations being made and would complain to me that “it wasn’t fair” to the rest of the class. At that point, I would remind them of the quote I had hanging in the back of my room that said, “Fair isn’t everyone getting the same thing. Fair is everyone getting what they need to succeed.” They would usually stop complaining at that point and would move on, realizing that their complaining wasn’t going to get them anywhere. 

Providing all students with a chance to succeed is our job as teachers. We aren’t there to make students feel like failures. We’re not there to make their lives frustrating and miserable. Our goal is to create a learning environment that is welcoming, safe, and one that leads to success. As you plan your next lesson, unit, assignment, or test, take a minute to think about who in your class doesn’t fit into the “most” category, and see what you can do to help them feel more successful in your classroom. I promise it will be worth your time, energy, and thought. 

Making Friends Can Be Tricky

Think back to your childhood and the friends you had. Maybe you’re still friends with those same people. Perhaps you just check in on them occasionally via social media, or maybe you’ve lost contact completely. Regardless of your friendship status with them now, one thing is certain— those early friendships made a lasting impression on you and helped shaped you into the person you are today. Childhood friendships helped you to understand what friendship means and what it looks like. They taught you what it means to be a good friend, and sometimes, unfortunately, what it means to be a not-so-good friend. 

Childhood is such a crucial time for molding and shaping young minds. Learning how to be a friend is a skill that is taught at an early age. As this new school year begins, it’s a good time to remind kids what good friendships look like, and to encourage them to make new friends too. Picture books are such an excellent teaching tool, so I headed to my library and found a few books that teach really good lessons on friendship.

In no particular order, these were my favorites that I found:

Friends Stick Together by Hannah E. Harrison

Rupert is a rhino who is quite proper and reserved. He doesn’t enjoy attention, loud things, or annoying friends. Levi is a tick bird who is the complete opposite of Rupert— he is loud, annoying, and likes lame jokes. Levi won’t leave Rupert alone and makes a scene everywhere they go. Rupert tries everything he can think of to get Levi to go away, but nothing works until he finally just tells him he wants to be alone. Levi does go away, but soon, Rupert starts to notice that life isn’t quite the same without his friend. After he realizes he misses Levi, Rupert apologizes and is happy to have Levi back.

This story beautifully illustrates that two different personalities can still be friends. It also touches a little bit on symbiosis— an excellent little tie into science!

When A Friend Needs A Friend by Roozeboos

Aya and Oskar are friends. Oskar can build almost anything, and is quite good at it. Together, they create stories about the things he builds, and love to visit a construction site where all the workers know them. Oskar can get very loud when he gets very excited, but also can get very quiet when he is sad. Sometimes he just wants to be left alone for a long period of time. At first, Aya didn’t know why and thought she had done something wrong or had hurt his feelings somehow. After visiting the construction site by herself, she learns that sometimes Oskar just has big emotions and needs some time to process them. She patiently waits for Oskar to be ready to play again, and remains his friend through it all.

I loved that this book teaches kids that it’s okay to feel what you feel, and that it’s ok to need your space. I also really liked that it showed that friendships can still remain strong, even when one person needs a little bit of a break. Having friends who are there for you through the good and the bad is so important.

Best Friends in the Universe by Hector and Louie Written by Stephanie Watson and Illustrated by Le Uyen Pham

Hector and Louie are the very best friends. They like to tell jokes, dance, and make up new foods together. They tell each other secrets and have all kinds of fun together. One day, Hector accidentally slips and tells Louie’s biggest secret. This begins a fight between the two of them. They stop playing together, and soon notice that their lives just aren’t the same without each other. Soon they have made up and are back to their regular silly antics.

Friendships aren’t always easy, and disagreements and disappointments can happen. This book did a great job of showing that, and also showing how people can apologize and still be friends. The illustrations in this book are darling and make it even more fun.

Buddy’s New Buddy Written by Christina Geist and Illustrated by Tim Bowers

Buddy is so sad when his best friend moves away. He begins a new school year without any friends, and is feeling quite sad about it. His big sister teaches him how to make new friends. Soon a new student moves into his class, and he starts to notice that they have lots of things in common. The become friends quickly and have all kinds of fun together.

As someone who moved often during my childhood, I appreciated this book. Making friends can be tricky, especially when you’re new or when someone you love moves away. This book shows kids to keep trying and to not give up when trying to make a new friend. Sometimes you just have to be patient, but there is always a friend out there for everyone.

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As the new school year gets going, take a few minutes to encourage your students to be a good friend and to be friends with the kids who don’t have friends. They’ll never know just how much of an impact they might have on someone!

Bullying: An Epidemic

One of the jobs of a teacher is to make their classroom a safe place for all students— a place where kids can come and feel like they belong, matter, and are heard. Most teachers I know of do a pretty good job at that, or at least trying their best to do so. Unfortunately, there are some kids who are pretty good at taking a safe place and making it feel not so safe by being a bully. And, equally as unfortunate, these kids are usually sneaky in their ways, often getting away with their behaviors until a situation becomes more serious. 

Bullying isn’t a new problem— it’s an issue that has been present in schools as long as schools have been around, and I don’t see it going anywhere anytime soon. As teachers, we have the responsibility to keep our eyes and ears open and to intervene any time we become aware of a bullying situation. We cannot turn a blind eye to this problem. 

So what can we do? To start, we can teach kindness and acceptance in our homes to our own children as well as to our students in our classrooms. We can encourage students to talk to a trusted adult when they see or hear bullying behaviors or when they are the victim of those behaviors. We can make our selves more aware of what is going on around us. Getting to know our students helps in several ways— it creates a relationship of trust and also can help us notice if something seems “off” or different. We need to be active listeners, doers, and watchers within the walls of our classrooms and our schools. 

If we do become aware of a problem, we can involve administration if needed. Beyond discipline, most admins will be willing to come into your classroom and talk about bullying and the problems it can cause— and the consequences that may result. 

Last school year, my second grader came home one day and told us that a classmate had been mean to him verbally and physically. We talked through the situation and discussed how he can handle it if it happened again. Unfortunately, it did continue happening. My son said he had told the recess aid whenever it would happen, but nothing changed. At this point, I emailed his teacher and explained what had been happening. I was so impressed with how she handled it; it was immediate and firm. She set up new class guidelines and made sure her students knew that she would not tolerate any kind of mean behavior in her classroom. She let them know that if she heard or saw anything happening, there would be immediate consequences and that the principal would become involved. She instituted a kindness challenge where students were given a grid of kind things to do for others. Once they had completed all the tasks on the grid, they could bring their paper back for a prize. Not only did she address the issue of bullying, she went a step further and encouraged all her students to be kinder and more patient with one another. Thankfully the problems my son was experiencing stopped, and the rest of the school year was just fine.

I know not all bullying situations are resolved as quickly and easily as my son’s was. I know for some students, it goes on for weeks, months, or even years, slowly eating away at the victim’s mental health and self esteem. It takes a toll. 

Cyber bullying is becoming more prevalent as technology continues to evolve. Kids (and sadly, even adults) can hide behind a screen and target individuals. Information spreads quickly via the internet, and can be done without the victim ever knowing who the bully is. This kind of bullying is dangerous and scary. It is also cowardly, as the bully doesn’t even have to come face to face with their targets. They can hide in the comfort of their own homes while slowly destroying someone else’s life. 

I don’t know that there are any easy or sure fire solutions to this epidemic happening in our schools. But I do know that we as teachers can make a difference by being alert, attentive, and aware of what is happening around us. We can be proactive by teaching and encouraging kindness. We can be assertive when we notice something happening and get those involved the help they need. While we may not be able to rid the world of bullying, we can certainly start a change within our own classrooms.

The Spartans of Education

This past weekend, my husband and our two oldest boys ran a Spartan race— a grueling race that includes running along dirt trails for a specific distance all while conquering obstacles along the way. The kids’ races ranged from 1-3K with 10 or so obstacles, and adult athletes could choose between a Sprint (5K + 20 obstacles), Super (10K + 25 obstacles), or the Beast (21K + 30 obstacles). The race course was at a ski resort, which meant steep hills and mountainous terrain. It was 90 degrees outside, and we were at a base elevation of 6,391 feet. It was indeed a test of mental and physical strength and stamina, and was certainly not for the feint of heart. It was truly inspiring to watch the athletes compete and overcome the challenges with which they were faced. 

Some of the obstacles athletes were asked to complete were less intense (like crawling through a tube or crawling under a tunnel), while others were much more intense (such as lifting and carrying a 60 pound ball from one end of the obstacle area to the other and back again, the rope climb, or the inverted wall climb). The obstacles by themselves would be challenging, but not impossible; add in the above mentioned factors of temperature, terrain, elevation, and distance to run, and the obstacles suddenly become much more daunting.

As I’ve reflected on the race over the past couple of days, I couldn’t help but think about how the whole race experience relates to education. At the beginning of each school year, we are given a new set of students, each with their own abilities, talents, likes/dislikes, and interests. They each have their own race to run alongside their classmates, and they all have obstacles to overcome. 

For some students, math may be their rope climb, where they find themselves finally making progress just to start slipping back down as a new concept is introduced. For others, science may be their inverted wall, difficult to gain traction on and overcome, while it may be a tunnel crawl for others, fairly easy to get through. 

It was interesting to watch athletes help each other overcome obstacles. I watched as one friend easily made it over a set of 6 foot hurdles, only to turn around and go back to help her friend by offering a boost to get her started. I watched complete strangers finish the rope climb, then turn to offer strategies and advice to athletes before they took their turn on the rope. I watched as my husband helped another athlete get his footing during a sand bag pull. I was grateful for the four people, all strangers, who stopped and immediately helped my husband when his calves cramped up and he couldn’t walk. As my husband finished the race, two of those people who helped him were waiting for him at the finish line because they “just wanted to see him finish.” It became clear that the people offering help to others weren’t in the race to be the fastest or the strongest. They were there to prove to themselves that they could do it, and to help others do the same. 

As our students learn and grow throughout the year, they are met with many challenges, and some may be in it for themselves, but most are not. Most kids are willing to help their classmates, be a friend, and cheer each other on. It’s remarkable to see the difference it can make when struggling students are boosted by their peers. There is a new light in their eyes when they see that other people believe in them and want them to succeed. 

So while they may be running in the same race, not all students will face the challenges with the same ability or confidence. As teachers, we get the unique opportunity to help facilitate the kind of relationships within our classrooms that will encourage, build, uplift, and carry. We also get the chance to do those things ourselves for our students. We get a front row seat to see our students progress, learn, grow, and thrive. We get to be their cheerleaders, give them boosts, and provide them with tips and advice on how to conquer their challenges. And that, my friends, is one of the coolest parts of being a teacher.

Parents and Special Education Services, A Series: Part 4

When considering individuals who receive SPED services, it’s important to note that not all disabilities are visible, and that disabilities come in all shapes and sizes. Another aspect to take into consideration is that people with disabilities can be any age. It doesn’t matter the age, gender, shape, or size of the disability: the fact of the matter is that people with disabilities have the right to be respected and treated fairly. When a student has an Individualized Education Plan (IEP), teachers are legally expected to uphold the terms of that plan, and are required to provide necessary accommodations for their students who have an IEP.

Today’s parent interview is with Bobbie, who has a son with an IEP who is in high school. He is an active, smart young man who has a learning disability. His disability isn’t physically visible, and many people do not even know that learning can be difficult for him. All of his teachers are made aware of his disability and are given a copy of the accommodations he is allowed to receive. Unfortunately, he has had a teacher who did not do their best to uphold the terms of his IEP, which led to frustration for both Bobbie and her son.

Please tell me a little about your child who is receiving Special\Education services. (Age, grade, etc.) 

My child is 15 years old and will be a sophomore this school year. He received his IEP when he was 6 years old in first grade.

What kind of services does your child receive? (general education withpull out services for speech/math/reading, etc., behavior unit, mild-moderate life skills class, etc.) 

My child is currently receiving his services in a co-taught general education math and ELA classroom. When he was in elementary school it was pull out services for reading and math.

What has been the most difficult thing about navigating the SPED world in schools? 

I feel that Elementary school teachers helped with IEPs way better than most secondary school teachers. Many of the secondary teachers, especially those who teach subjects like science and social studies do not follow a student’s IEP accommodations as well as they should. I even had a 9th grade science teacher attend the IEP, and he failed to follow the accommodation of hard copy of notes provided, because he said they could be downloaded from his website, but we were never able to find where to access, and his response was always “they are on my website.” His website was not organized in a way to find anything UNLESS you knew the exact title of his lesson. No dates were provided. This “accommodation” in  his eyes was being met, but was met with a task that was far harder than just making the notes for my child. So I think the most difficult thing is getting secondary teachers to follow ALL of the accommodations needed, and to provide them in a way that makes their learning experience easier and not harder. 

As a parent, what has been the most rewarding or positive thing about working with SPED services in schools?

I have felt like my voice is heard in the meetings, and that my opinion to help my child matters. I feel like when I reach out to his SPED file holder, I get a response and help with my child. 

How do you feel other students and teachers respond to and interact with your child? Do you feel like there is a good amount of inclusiveness at your child’s school? 

Most people do not know that my child has an IEP. I do feel that some teachers do everything they can to help my child find success, but as mentioned above, there are some who do not make their educational needs easier, but rather make it harder for them to access the content.  My child was able to maintain straight A’s in his classes, but it wasn’t from the help of his science teacher especially. He knew my child was reading 4 grade level below, and did nothing to help him. 

As a parent, what are some ways you advocate for your child to make sure they are in the least restrictive environment and receiving the services they need and deserve? 

As a parent, I make sure that all of the teachers know that my child has an IEP and what accommodations have worked the very best for my child in the past. I let them know that I am available to meet, or talk with them to make sure that my child can learn best in their classrooms. I am also a teacher, so I understand and know how important communication with teachers are to ensure that my child’s needs are being met. 

If you could tell one (or two or more) thing(s) to people who don’t have much experience with working with children with disabilities ofany kind and severity, what would you tell them? 

Children with learning disabilities can do what their peers are doing with enough supports/ accommodations. They can also be students with straight A’s who work extremely hard to learn the content. They are kids who just want others to see them as they would see any other child. They have the ability to love others and to be amazing friends to those around them.

Thank you, Bobbie! I can only imagine how difficult it would be to have a teacher who didn’t do their best to accommodate the needs of students receiving SPED services. I’m impressed with her son’s determination and hard work to succeed despite the lack of help from a teacher. Way to go!

This post is part of a series of posts of interviews with parents who have a child who receives special education services. You can find previous posts here, here, and here.

Parents and Special Education Services, A Series: Part 3

So often when we think of special education, we only think about the individuals with the disability. In reality, however, there are many more people involved in the education and advocacy for these individuals. Part of that team includes the parents and caregivers of those with disabilities. For the past couple of weeks, I have been interviewing parents and sharing their experiences with the SPED system. You can find previous posts here and here.

Today’s post is from an interview with Marina, a former second grade teacher and mom to an adorable boy who has been diagnosed with Williams Syndrome. Let’s see what she has to say!

Please tell me a little about your child who is receiving Special Education services. (Age, grade, etc.)

K. just turned 5 and will be attending kindergarten in the fall. He has attended 2 years of SPED preschool in our district and was with early intervention before that. 

What kind of services does your child receive? (general education with pull out services for speech/math/reading, etc., behavior unit, mild-moderate life skills class, etc.)

K. will be in the least restrictive special class for kindergarten. It is called a Core Integrated Class. It is full time with a special ed teacher, smaller class size, and 2-3 paraprofessionals. In addition to academic support he also receives speech therapy, occupational therapy, and physical therapy through the district during school. 

What has been the most difficult thing about navigating the SPED world in schools?

The most difficult thing about navigating the SPED world in schools has been knowing the right questions to ask in order to receive the best services and make the best placement decisions. There is a lot of lingo in the SPED world that makes sense to those who work in it for their job but as a parent it has to be simplified and clarified which I have really had to ask for. The services are of course there but no one is a better advocate for your child than you are so it is crucial to ask all of the questions to stay informed of all of your options. 

As a parent, what has been the most rewarding or positive thing about working with SPED services in schools?

The most rewarding part about working with various SPED services has been getting to watch the progress. I have been able to see how hard the whole team (teachers, aides, therapists, families) works together. Everyone celebrates the smallest progress and I truly believe that’s how the bigger goals are accomplished. 

As a parent, what has been the most rewarding or positive thing about working with SPED services in schools?

Our experience so far has been nothing but amazing as far as teacher and student interactions. Teachers in other classes know who K. is and say hi to him often which makes his day. I wouldn’t say they haven’t been inclusive but I do think that is difficult at a preschool age. I am excited for him to experience more inclusivity this fall as that is one goal of the structure of his upcoming placement. 

As a parent, what are some ways you advocate for your child to make sure they are in the least restrictive environment and receiving the services they need and deserve?

As a parent I recognize I am my child’s biggest advocate. I also recognize that there is a lot of emotion also tied to my child. I recently found a parent consultant and she helped be another set of eyes and ears. She was truly amazing. She and I met before the IEP meeting and discussed current goals, future goals, questions, concerns, and options. She attended the IEP meeting with me, took notes, and made sure I was feeling good about all of the decisions being made as well as got all of my questions answered. I involved myself as much as I could. Volunteered, helped with class parties, attended parent teacher conferences, asked for progress notes, worked on goals at home, etc. it is so much easier to advocate when you’re very involved. 

If you could tell one (or two or more) thing(s) to people who don’t have much experience with working with children with disabilities of any kind and severity, what would you tell them?

Find someone you can trust that does have experience and ask questions. For teachers, aides, educators: have compassion and patience not only for the child but the parents and families. It can be really overwhelming trying to navigate the SPED world on top of everything else that comes with having a child with special needs. Be an advocate, challenge the student appropriately and celebrate the small wins daily. To the parents: If you don’t feel good about something, speak up. Ask to see the data and have the data explained to you in a way you understand. I would highly recommend seeing if there is a parent consultant/advocate in your area. They are on your team and a good person to lean on. 

Thanks, Marina! I really appreciated her perspective, and loved that she was able to find a parent consultant to help her as she navigates the SPED world and making sure her son is getting the best care possible.

Next week, we will hear from a parent who has a child on an IEP in high school– I’m excited to hear her words of wisdom!