Category: Inclusion

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Making Friends Can Be Tricky

Think back to your childhood and the friends you had. Maybe you’re still friends with those same people. Perhaps you just check in on them occasionally via social media, or maybe you’ve lost contact completely. Regardless of your friendship status with them now, one thing is certain— those early friendships made a lasting impression on you and helped shaped you into the person you are today. Childhood friendships helped you to understand what friendship means and what it looks like. They taught you what it means to be a good friend, and sometimes, unfortunately, what it means to be a not-so-good friend. 

Childhood is such a crucial time for molding and shaping young minds. Learning how to be a friend is a skill that is taught at an early age. As this new school year begins, it’s a good time to remind kids what good friendships look like, and to encourage them to make new friends too. Picture books are such an excellent teaching tool, so I headed to my library and found a few books that teach really good lessons on friendship.

In no particular order, these were my favorites that I found:

Friends Stick Together by Hannah E. Harrison

Rupert is a rhino who is quite proper and reserved. He doesn’t enjoy attention, loud things, or annoying friends. Levi is a tick bird who is the complete opposite of Rupert— he is loud, annoying, and likes lame jokes. Levi won’t leave Rupert alone and makes a scene everywhere they go. Rupert tries everything he can think of to get Levi to go away, but nothing works until he finally just tells him he wants to be alone. Levi does go away, but soon, Rupert starts to notice that life isn’t quite the same without his friend. After he realizes he misses Levi, Rupert apologizes and is happy to have Levi back.

This story beautifully illustrates that two different personalities can still be friends. It also touches a little bit on symbiosis— an excellent little tie into science!

When A Friend Needs A Friend by Roozeboos

Aya and Oskar are friends. Oskar can build almost anything, and is quite good at it. Together, they create stories about the things he builds, and love to visit a construction site where all the workers know them. Oskar can get very loud when he gets very excited, but also can get very quiet when he is sad. Sometimes he just wants to be left alone for a long period of time. At first, Aya didn’t know why and thought she had done something wrong or had hurt his feelings somehow. After visiting the construction site by herself, she learns that sometimes Oskar just has big emotions and needs some time to process them. She patiently waits for Oskar to be ready to play again, and remains his friend through it all.

I loved that this book teaches kids that it’s okay to feel what you feel, and that it’s ok to need your space. I also really liked that it showed that friendships can still remain strong, even when one person needs a little bit of a break. Having friends who are there for you through the good and the bad is so important.

Best Friends in the Universe by Hector and Louie Written by Stephanie Watson and Illustrated by Le Uyen Pham

Hector and Louie are the very best friends. They like to tell jokes, dance, and make up new foods together. They tell each other secrets and have all kinds of fun together. One day, Hector accidentally slips and tells Louie’s biggest secret. This begins a fight between the two of them. They stop playing together, and soon notice that their lives just aren’t the same without each other. Soon they have made up and are back to their regular silly antics.

Friendships aren’t always easy, and disagreements and disappointments can happen. This book did a great job of showing that, and also showing how people can apologize and still be friends. The illustrations in this book are darling and make it even more fun.

Buddy’s New Buddy Written by Christina Geist and Illustrated by Tim Bowers

Buddy is so sad when his best friend moves away. He begins a new school year without any friends, and is feeling quite sad about it. His big sister teaches him how to make new friends. Soon a new student moves into his class, and he starts to notice that they have lots of things in common. The become friends quickly and have all kinds of fun together.

As someone who moved often during my childhood, I appreciated this book. Making friends can be tricky, especially when you’re new or when someone you love moves away. This book shows kids to keep trying and to not give up when trying to make a new friend. Sometimes you just have to be patient, but there is always a friend out there for everyone.

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As the new school year gets going, take a few minutes to encourage your students to be a good friend and to be friends with the kids who don’t have friends. They’ll never know just how much of an impact they might have on someone!

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Bullying: An Epidemic

One of the jobs of a teacher is to make their classroom a safe place for all students— a place where kids can come and feel like they belong, matter, and are heard. Most teachers I know of do a pretty good job at that, or at least trying their best to do so. Unfortunately, there are some kids who are pretty good at taking a safe place and making it feel not so safe by being a bully. And, equally as unfortunate, these kids are usually sneaky in their ways, often getting away with their behaviors until a situation becomes more serious. 

Bullying isn’t a new problem— it’s an issue that has been present in schools as long as schools have been around, and I don’t see it going anywhere anytime soon. As teachers, we have the responsibility to keep our eyes and ears open and to intervene any time we become aware of a bullying situation. We cannot turn a blind eye to this problem. 

So what can we do? To start, we can teach kindness and acceptance in our homes to our own children as well as to our students in our classrooms. We can encourage students to talk to a trusted adult when they see or hear bullying behaviors or when they are the victim of those behaviors. We can make our selves more aware of what is going on around us. Getting to know our students helps in several ways— it creates a relationship of trust and also can help us notice if something seems “off” or different. We need to be active listeners, doers, and watchers within the walls of our classrooms and our schools. 

If we do become aware of a problem, we can involve administration if needed. Beyond discipline, most admins will be willing to come into your classroom and talk about bullying and the problems it can cause— and the consequences that may result. 

Last school year, my second grader came home one day and told us that a classmate had been mean to him verbally and physically. We talked through the situation and discussed how he can handle it if it happened again. Unfortunately, it did continue happening. My son said he had told the recess aid whenever it would happen, but nothing changed. At this point, I emailed his teacher and explained what had been happening. I was so impressed with how she handled it; it was immediate and firm. She set up new class guidelines and made sure her students knew that she would not tolerate any kind of mean behavior in her classroom. She let them know that if she heard or saw anything happening, there would be immediate consequences and that the principal would become involved. She instituted a kindness challenge where students were given a grid of kind things to do for others. Once they had completed all the tasks on the grid, they could bring their paper back for a prize. Not only did she address the issue of bullying, she went a step further and encouraged all her students to be kinder and more patient with one another. Thankfully the problems my son was experiencing stopped, and the rest of the school year was just fine.

I know not all bullying situations are resolved as quickly and easily as my son’s was. I know for some students, it goes on for weeks, months, or even years, slowly eating away at the victim’s mental health and self esteem. It takes a toll. 

Cyber bullying is becoming more prevalent as technology continues to evolve. Kids (and sadly, even adults) can hide behind a screen and target individuals. Information spreads quickly via the internet, and can be done without the victim ever knowing who the bully is. This kind of bullying is dangerous and scary. It is also cowardly, as the bully doesn’t even have to come face to face with their targets. They can hide in the comfort of their own homes while slowly destroying someone else’s life. 

I don’t know that there are any easy or sure fire solutions to this epidemic happening in our schools. But I do know that we as teachers can make a difference by being alert, attentive, and aware of what is happening around us. We can be proactive by teaching and encouraging kindness. We can be assertive when we notice something happening and get those involved the help they need. While we may not be able to rid the world of bullying, we can certainly start a change within our own classrooms.

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The Spartans of Education

This past weekend, my husband and our two oldest boys ran a Spartan race— a grueling race that includes running along dirt trails for a specific distance all while conquering obstacles along the way. The kids’ races ranged from 1-3K with 10 or so obstacles, and adult athletes could choose between a Sprint (5K + 20 obstacles), Super (10K + 25 obstacles), or the Beast (21K + 30 obstacles). The race course was at a ski resort, which meant steep hills and mountainous terrain. It was 90 degrees outside, and we were at a base elevation of 6,391 feet. It was indeed a test of mental and physical strength and stamina, and was certainly not for the feint of heart. It was truly inspiring to watch the athletes compete and overcome the challenges with which they were faced. 

Some of the obstacles athletes were asked to complete were less intense (like crawling through a tube or crawling under a tunnel), while others were much more intense (such as lifting and carrying a 60 pound ball from one end of the obstacle area to the other and back again, the rope climb, or the inverted wall climb). The obstacles by themselves would be challenging, but not impossible; add in the above mentioned factors of temperature, terrain, elevation, and distance to run, and the obstacles suddenly become much more daunting.

As I’ve reflected on the race over the past couple of days, I couldn’t help but think about how the whole race experience relates to education. At the beginning of each school year, we are given a new set of students, each with their own abilities, talents, likes/dislikes, and interests. They each have their own race to run alongside their classmates, and they all have obstacles to overcome. 

For some students, math may be their rope climb, where they find themselves finally making progress just to start slipping back down as a new concept is introduced. For others, science may be their inverted wall, difficult to gain traction on and overcome, while it may be a tunnel crawl for others, fairly easy to get through. 

It was interesting to watch athletes help each other overcome obstacles. I watched as one friend easily made it over a set of 6 foot hurdles, only to turn around and go back to help her friend by offering a boost to get her started. I watched complete strangers finish the rope climb, then turn to offer strategies and advice to athletes before they took their turn on the rope. I watched as my husband helped another athlete get his footing during a sand bag pull. I was grateful for the four people, all strangers, who stopped and immediately helped my husband when his calves cramped up and he couldn’t walk. As my husband finished the race, two of those people who helped him were waiting for him at the finish line because they “just wanted to see him finish.” It became clear that the people offering help to others weren’t in the race to be the fastest or the strongest. They were there to prove to themselves that they could do it, and to help others do the same. 

As our students learn and grow throughout the year, they are met with many challenges, and some may be in it for themselves, but most are not. Most kids are willing to help their classmates, be a friend, and cheer each other on. It’s remarkable to see the difference it can make when struggling students are boosted by their peers. There is a new light in their eyes when they see that other people believe in them and want them to succeed. 

So while they may be running in the same race, not all students will face the challenges with the same ability or confidence. As teachers, we get the unique opportunity to help facilitate the kind of relationships within our classrooms that will encourage, build, uplift, and carry. We also get the chance to do those things ourselves for our students. We get a front row seat to see our students progress, learn, grow, and thrive. We get to be their cheerleaders, give them boosts, and provide them with tips and advice on how to conquer their challenges. And that, my friends, is one of the coolest parts of being a teacher.

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Parents and Special Education Services, A Series: Part 4

When considering individuals who receive SPED services, it’s important to note that not all disabilities are visible, and that disabilities come in all shapes and sizes. Another aspect to take into consideration is that people with disabilities can be any age. It doesn’t matter the age, gender, shape, or size of the disability: the fact of the matter is that people with disabilities have the right to be respected and treated fairly. When a student has an Individualized Education Plan (IEP), teachers are legally expected to uphold the terms of that plan, and are required to provide necessary accommodations for their students who have an IEP.

Today’s parent interview is with Bobbie, who has a son with an IEP who is in high school. He is an active, smart young man who has a learning disability. His disability isn’t physically visible, and many people do not even know that learning can be difficult for him. All of his teachers are made aware of his disability and are given a copy of the accommodations he is allowed to receive. Unfortunately, he has had a teacher who did not do their best to uphold the terms of his IEP, which led to frustration for both Bobbie and her son.

Please tell me a little about your child who is receiving Special\Education services. (Age, grade, etc.) 

My child is 15 years old and will be a sophomore this school year. He received his IEP when he was 6 years old in first grade.

What kind of services does your child receive? (general education withpull out services for speech/math/reading, etc., behavior unit, mild-moderate life skills class, etc.) 

My child is currently receiving his services in a co-taught general education math and ELA classroom. When he was in elementary school it was pull out services for reading and math.

What has been the most difficult thing about navigating the SPED world in schools? 

I feel that Elementary school teachers helped with IEPs way better than most secondary school teachers. Many of the secondary teachers, especially those who teach subjects like science and social studies do not follow a student’s IEP accommodations as well as they should. I even had a 9th grade science teacher attend the IEP, and he failed to follow the accommodation of hard copy of notes provided, because he said they could be downloaded from his website, but we were never able to find where to access, and his response was always “they are on my website.” His website was not organized in a way to find anything UNLESS you knew the exact title of his lesson. No dates were provided. This “accommodation” in  his eyes was being met, but was met with a task that was far harder than just making the notes for my child. So I think the most difficult thing is getting secondary teachers to follow ALL of the accommodations needed, and to provide them in a way that makes their learning experience easier and not harder. 

As a parent, what has been the most rewarding or positive thing about working with SPED services in schools?

I have felt like my voice is heard in the meetings, and that my opinion to help my child matters. I feel like when I reach out to his SPED file holder, I get a response and help with my child. 

How do you feel other students and teachers respond to and interact with your child? Do you feel like there is a good amount of inclusiveness at your child’s school? 

Most people do not know that my child has an IEP. I do feel that some teachers do everything they can to help my child find success, but as mentioned above, there are some who do not make their educational needs easier, but rather make it harder for them to access the content.  My child was able to maintain straight A’s in his classes, but it wasn’t from the help of his science teacher especially. He knew my child was reading 4 grade level below, and did nothing to help him. 

As a parent, what are some ways you advocate for your child to make sure they are in the least restrictive environment and receiving the services they need and deserve? 

As a parent, I make sure that all of the teachers know that my child has an IEP and what accommodations have worked the very best for my child in the past. I let them know that I am available to meet, or talk with them to make sure that my child can learn best in their classrooms. I am also a teacher, so I understand and know how important communication with teachers are to ensure that my child’s needs are being met. 

If you could tell one (or two or more) thing(s) to people who don’t have much experience with working with children with disabilities ofany kind and severity, what would you tell them? 

Children with learning disabilities can do what their peers are doing with enough supports/ accommodations. They can also be students with straight A’s who work extremely hard to learn the content. They are kids who just want others to see them as they would see any other child. They have the ability to love others and to be amazing friends to those around them.

Thank you, Bobbie! I can only imagine how difficult it would be to have a teacher who didn’t do their best to accommodate the needs of students receiving SPED services. I’m impressed with her son’s determination and hard work to succeed despite the lack of help from a teacher. Way to go!

This post is part of a series of posts of interviews with parents who have a child who receives special education services. You can find previous posts here, here, and here.

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Parents and Special Education Services, A Series: Part 3

So often when we think of special education, we only think about the individuals with the disability. In reality, however, there are many more people involved in the education and advocacy for these individuals. Part of that team includes the parents and caregivers of those with disabilities. For the past couple of weeks, I have been interviewing parents and sharing their experiences with the SPED system. You can find previous posts here and here.

Today’s post is from an interview with Marina, a former second grade teacher and mom to an adorable boy who has been diagnosed with Williams Syndrome. Let’s see what she has to say!

Please tell me a little about your child who is receiving Special Education services. (Age, grade, etc.)

K. just turned 5 and will be attending kindergarten in the fall. He has attended 2 years of SPED preschool in our district and was with early intervention before that. 

What kind of services does your child receive? (general education with pull out services for speech/math/reading, etc., behavior unit, mild-moderate life skills class, etc.)

K. will be in the least restrictive special class for kindergarten. It is called a Core Integrated Class. It is full time with a special ed teacher, smaller class size, and 2-3 paraprofessionals. In addition to academic support he also receives speech therapy, occupational therapy, and physical therapy through the district during school. 

What has been the most difficult thing about navigating the SPED world in schools?

The most difficult thing about navigating the SPED world in schools has been knowing the right questions to ask in order to receive the best services and make the best placement decisions. There is a lot of lingo in the SPED world that makes sense to those who work in it for their job but as a parent it has to be simplified and clarified which I have really had to ask for. The services are of course there but no one is a better advocate for your child than you are so it is crucial to ask all of the questions to stay informed of all of your options. 

As a parent, what has been the most rewarding or positive thing about working with SPED services in schools?

The most rewarding part about working with various SPED services has been getting to watch the progress. I have been able to see how hard the whole team (teachers, aides, therapists, families) works together. Everyone celebrates the smallest progress and I truly believe that’s how the bigger goals are accomplished. 

As a parent, what has been the most rewarding or positive thing about working with SPED services in schools?

Our experience so far has been nothing but amazing as far as teacher and student interactions. Teachers in other classes know who K. is and say hi to him often which makes his day. I wouldn’t say they haven’t been inclusive but I do think that is difficult at a preschool age. I am excited for him to experience more inclusivity this fall as that is one goal of the structure of his upcoming placement. 

As a parent, what are some ways you advocate for your child to make sure they are in the least restrictive environment and receiving the services they need and deserve?

As a parent I recognize I am my child’s biggest advocate. I also recognize that there is a lot of emotion also tied to my child. I recently found a parent consultant and she helped be another set of eyes and ears. She was truly amazing. She and I met before the IEP meeting and discussed current goals, future goals, questions, concerns, and options. She attended the IEP meeting with me, took notes, and made sure I was feeling good about all of the decisions being made as well as got all of my questions answered. I involved myself as much as I could. Volunteered, helped with class parties, attended parent teacher conferences, asked for progress notes, worked on goals at home, etc. it is so much easier to advocate when you’re very involved. 

If you could tell one (or two or more) thing(s) to people who don’t have much experience with working with children with disabilities of any kind and severity, what would you tell them?

Find someone you can trust that does have experience and ask questions. For teachers, aides, educators: have compassion and patience not only for the child but the parents and families. It can be really overwhelming trying to navigate the SPED world on top of everything else that comes with having a child with special needs. Be an advocate, challenge the student appropriately and celebrate the small wins daily. To the parents: If you don’t feel good about something, speak up. Ask to see the data and have the data explained to you in a way you understand. I would highly recommend seeing if there is a parent consultant/advocate in your area. They are on your team and a good person to lean on. 

Thanks, Marina! I really appreciated her perspective, and loved that she was able to find a parent consultant to help her as she navigates the SPED world and making sure her son is getting the best care possible.

Next week, we will hear from a parent who has a child on an IEP in high school– I’m excited to hear her words of wisdom!

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Celebrating Differences

Have you ever been faced with a situation where your child loudly points out someone’s differences? The way we respond in situations like that can determine and change how our children perceive differences. If we respond with disgust, that is how our children will see differences. If, however, we respond with love, compassion, and kindness, our children will pick up on that and will learn to show empathy and love to those differently abled than them. 

It is so important— even crucial— to teach our children and students to view differences as a beautiful thing rather than something that sets them apart. Teaching inclusion is vital to raising a generation of kids who love and encourage people of all abilities. 

Sometimes it can be difficult to explain differences to kids in a way that makes sense to them. Thankfully, there are some incredible children’s books out there that do a beautiful job of teaching this. Here are a few that I found at my local library that were well written and that I feel do a good job of teaching the importance of inclusion.

Benji, the Bad Day, and Me by Sally J. Pla, Illustrated by Ken Min

Sammy is having the worst day ever. He comes home from school, feeling defeated and upset. But instead of being met with sympathy and kindness, his mother shushes him and tells him he needs to be quiet because his brother, Benji, had bad day and needed quiet. Sammy’s day continues to get worse, and he feels like no one notices him. Benji saves the day when he helps Sammy feel safe and comforted by wrapping him in a blanket, which is Benji’s favorite way to calm down and feel safe. 

Benji has autism, and is easily overwhelmed with loud noises or other sensory input. When Sammy doesn’t think anyone notices him, he is surprised to see that his brother does see him and is able to help him the best way he knows how.

This story is a tender example of how connected brothers can be, and the differences don’t have to separate them.

You Are Enough: A Book About Inclusion by Margaret O’Hair, Illustrated by Sofia Cardoso

Full of darling illustrations, this book celebrates the differences in each child. It shows that all people are enough, regardless of looks, abilities, race, etc. The story is inspired by Sofia Sanchez, a girl with Down syndrome who has embraced her differences and can be seen on TV, in ads, and on other media outlets. 

This books encourages all children to look in the mirror and celebrate what they see, and that they are enough, just as they are! 

When Charley Met Emma by Amy Webb, Illustrated by Merrilee Liddiard

Charley’s mom has always taught him that “Different isn’t weird, sad, bad, or strange. Different is different. And different is ok!” Charley and his mom go to the park and while there, they see a girl in a wheelchair with limb differences. For a moment, Charley forgets that different is okay, and loudly asks why the girl looks so weird. Rather than shaming, his mom uses the moment to remind and teach, encouraging Charley to go talk to the girl. 

He does, and discovers that her name is Emma, and that she likes to do all the same things Charley likes to do. Together, they play and have fun, and easily become friends. 

This book is a great reminder that ability isn’t always determined by what our bodies look like. Kids of all abilities and looks are able to have fun and be kids— because different is ok!

Different: A Great Thing to Be! By Heather Avis, Illustrated by Sarah Mensinga

Macy is a girl who is different than other kids around her. Sometimes she feels hurt by the comments and looks other kids give her. Rather than letting it hold her back, she embraces her differences and celebrates who she is. She finds ways to show other kids that while she is different, she is still a kid who can love, laugh, play, and be a friend.

Oona and the Shark by Kelly DiPucchio, Illustrated by Raissa Figueroa

Oona is a mermaid who likes all the things mermaids usually do. She loves to collect things, build inventions, and isn’t afraid of noise. One day she meets a shark who doesn’t seem to like all the things Oona likes. She is determined to make him like her things, inventions, and noise. With every attempt, she finds that the shark pulls further away. In one last attempt to win him over, she decides to throw a party. When shark doesn’t come, she retreats to the ocean floor to sit in quiet for a minute. There, she sees sea glass and has an idea. Using her brilliant mind, she creates a quiet sea glass sorting machine. When she presents it to shark, she is pleased to find that he likes it very much. She realizes that not everyone is the same, and that differences are okay.

The illustrations in this book are so beautiful, and the story is captivating!

We’re All Wonders by R.J. Palacio

Inspired by the novel Wonder, this children’s book follows Auggie, a child who was born with severe facial differences. Auggie takes readers on a journey of how people react to him, how he feels, and how he copes with the pointing fingers and mean words. The book ends with reminding readers that everyone is a wonder in their own way, and to “look with kindness and you will always find wonder.” 

Including all people, regardless of ability, appearance, or diagnosis is a vital thing for kids to learn. Many children are naturally inclusive. When adults display kindness, inclusion, and empathy, we encourage those around us to do the same. I encourage you to take a minute and help your children understand the importance of treating everyone with dignity and respect.