Category: Failure

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What I Wish I Would Have Known

It’s graduation season! It’s a bittersweet milestone, but is definitely one to be celebrated. I remember my graduation day, and remember feeling so anxious but excited. I had my whole life planned out, and I was just sure it was going to go exactly how I wanted it to: go to college with my best friend, find a good guy and get married by 23, graduate as a nurse, have some kids, and so on. Boy was I in for a surprise when my plans didn’t follow that timeline, nor did most of my plans actually happen. I went to a different college than my friend, switched majors from nursing to elementary education, back to nursing, then eventually got my degree in secondary education. I didn’t get married until I was 30, and the kids came soon after that. As I think back and reflect on how the last 23 years of my live have gone, I’m glad my original plans didn’t follow my timeline. I would have missed out on so many things that were crucial to me becoming who I am today. But man, sometimes I wish I could go back and tell my naive 18 year old self a thing or to to give her some advice and encouragement about the future.

I figured other people might feel the same way, and might have something to say to their 18 year old selves. I asked several people what they would tell themselves, if they knew then what they know now. The answers ranged from the silly and light hearted to the serious and profound. So seniors, this one’s for you– a little advice from people who have been there, done that, and want to pass on some words of wisdom!

  • Don’t rush growing up. You will never have it all figured out.
  • Trust your gut.
  • Travel more, work hard, don’t spend more than you earn, save, believe, and invest in yourself.
  • Every life event and breakup led me to my husband and life I have today, and I wouldn’t change that.
  • At 18, I didn’t know it would take me 10 more years to get married. Don’t worry about that.
  • Don’t open a credit card— save for what you want/need.
  • Love YOUR life. Don’t worry about what others say or do. Let them live the life they want. You choose you!
  • It’s okay to not know what you want to major in. It’s okay to switch majors— college is an investment. Make sure you are getting out of it what you want.
  • Not all friendships will last past graduation. That’s ok. There’s new friends out there.
  • You are worth it. You matter.
  • If college isn’t your thing, it’s ok. It doesn’t have to be. 
  • Spend time with those you love.
  • Never miss a chance to say thank you or I love you.
  • Take the risk— if it works out, awesome! If not, you learned from it and are better for it.
  • Make the effort to study and challenge yourself.
  • Advice given by others is second, learn to hear your own voice first and loudest.
  • It’s worth hanging around to see how the story ends.
  • The smart thing to do and the right thing to do are very rarely the same thing to do. But it never changes what the right thing to do is. Choose what is right. Always.
  • Take more pictures.
  • Always trust your instincts.
  • Apply for all the things! Enjoy everything!
  • Feeling dread all the time isn’t normal— it’s ok to get help if you need it.
  • Keep doing what makes yourself proud.
  • You’ll have so much more fun and peace if you don’t stress about dating. Don’t rush it!
  • Give yourself some grace.
  • You don’t have to have it all figured out at 18. The best is yet to come!
  • It’s ok to not know what you want.
  • Work on yourself— make yourself the kind of person you want to be.
  • Don’t be afraid. Go for it. If you fail, then try something else.
  • Try to save money.
  • Be smart with money.
  • Get the degree. Be able to support yourself.
  • If your friends are dragging you down, ditch them.
  • Don’t settle for less!
  • Be flexible— sometimes things don’t go the way you hoped they would, and you have to adapt and adjust. 
  • Look for the good in people.
  • Look for the good in every day. 
  • Be patient and the right partner will come when you are doing what you need to be doing.
  • Focus on figuring out what you want to do and work towards that goal.
  • Be gentle on yourself. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small.
  • You are doing amazing things.
  • You can do hard things.
  • Everyone you come across is fighting some kind of battle you know nothing about. Be kind.
  • Be patient with yourself and with others. We’re all doing the best we can.

Take a minute and reflect on your graduation day– what would you tell yourself?

Congratulations to the class of 2025! You did it!

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Teaching Kids About Courage

Trying new things is scary and hard sometimes! It doesn’t matter your age— the unknown can be intimidating. Picture books have a great way of teaching kids (and adults!) life lessons, including lessons about facing fears and having courage to try new things. While looking for some other books at the library the other day, I stumbled across a whole section of children’s books dedicated to this theme. 

So if you’re like me (or some of my kids) and need a reminder that sometimes being brave is scary, these books just might be for you! 

The Thing Lou Couldn’t Do by Ashley Spires

Lou is always up for big adventures with her friends… until they suggest that they play pirates up in a tree. Lou has never climbed a tree, and isn’t so sure about it. She finds all kinds of excuses to avoid climbing up to her friends, but when they all exclaim that the pirates need help, she knows she must give it a try. So she does, and she fails. After convincing herself that it’s not that she can’t climb the tree; it’s just that she doesn’t know how to yet. She decides that she will come back the next day and try again!

This story is perfect for talking to kids about being brave and trying again if it doesn’t work the first time. The illustrations are cute and well done.

The Magical Yet by Angela DiTerlizzi and illustrated by Lorena Alvarez

This book follows a young girl who just can’t seem to figure out how to ride a bike. She keeps trying, and keeps failing. She wants to give up… until the magical Yet shows up. With Yet, she can start to see that her dreams will come true, for Yet is a dreamer, maker, and one who finds a way. Yet is patient and encouraging when failures happen. Yet doesn’t give up! With Yet by her side, she learns to keep pushing forward and eventually gets to be where she wants to be.

This book is written in rhyme format, and is catchy and fun to read. The words flow well, and the illustrations are magical. It gives you the perfect dose of courage, knowing that your own personal Yet is right by your side as you try new things.

Jabari Jumps by Gaia Cornwall

Jabari, his dad, and little sister head to the pool. Jabari tells his dad that he is going to jump off the diving board today. His dad offers encouragement and cheers him on. As Jabari gets closer to the diving board, he realizes how high it really is. He begins to come up with excuses and reasons to not try. His dad gives him a pep talk and tells him to take a deep breath and tell himself he is ready. Jabari follows his dad’s advice and begins the climb up the ladder. He got to the edge of the board, took a deep breath, and told himself he felt ready. He took the leap and discovered it was really fun! The book ends with him telling his dad that he’ll do a double backflip next.

The pictures in this book are wonderful, and the story line is perfect for teaching kids about how to work up the courage to try something new.

Jabari Tries by Gaia Cornwall

Jabari is back, but this time, he is determined to make a little machine that can fly across his backyard. Everything he tries doesn’t work. He’s getting frustrated and wants to give up. When his dad comes and gives him a little pep talk, he tells Jabari to “gather up all his patience, take a deep breath, and blow away all the mixed feelings inside.” Together with his little sister as his helper, Jabari gets the courage to try again. He gives it one more try, and this time, it works! He is proud of himself for not giving up and for having the courage to finish what he started.

One of the most important lessons to learn as a child is to have courage and be brave. We’re all faced with tricky situations, but being brave can change everything. These picture books all do an excellent job of illustrating just that. These books would be great to read with a class at the beginning or end of the year as kids head into a new season and part of their life!

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You’re Never too Young for Critical Thinking

Today my kids’ school held their annual kindergarten “Humpty-Dumpty Egg Drop”. Students were given homework to boil an egg, then create some sort of protective cradle for it. On the day of the egg drop, students bring their creation with them, ready to test out their engineering skills. The custodian takes all the creations with him to the school’s roof, then one by one, hurls them off the roof, where they then land on the blacktop. The kids all cheer and laugh as they watch as each other’s eggs are thrown off the roof. The goal is to have an unbroken egg by the end of the event. Some contraptions are wildly successful, while others are, well, not. Regardless of the outcome, they all have a great time.

One of my kids is in kindergarten this year, so I got the chance to go watch the egg drop today. Due to inclement weather, they moved it indoors, and the custodian dropped the eggs from the second level of the school down to the first— which offered the advantages of a softer landing spot as well as a shorter distance for the egg to fall. Even with these changes, the kids still cheered and laughed as they watched their eggs and their classmates’ eggs fall to the ground. After all the eggs had been dropped, the kids excitedly found theirs, and opened their creations to see whether or not their egg survived the fall. There were lots of squeals of excitement, mixed in with a handful of disappointed sighs.

While this seems like just a fun activity to do with kids, it goes beyond that. At the very least, it’s a great opportunity for students to cheer each other on and celebrate together. One of the biggest benefits of this assignment is the exposure to STEM related thinking. The students were asked to come up with their own ideas of how they wanted to protect their egg. I asked my son to think about how he wanted to do that, and gave him some time to consider some ideas. A while later, I asked if he had thought of anything. Immediately, he began to tell me his ideas, what supplies he would need, and how he wanted to execute his idea. 

It was a brilliant way to get him to figure out a solution to a problem. When it came time to build his egg cradle, he gathered supplies and asked for help gathering what he couldn’t find. We gently guided him along the way, and performed tasks that weren’t safe for a kindergartner  to do (like pushing holes through the plastic tub he wanted to use). As he worked, he made adjustments when he saw that something wasn’t going to work as well as he wanted it to. He was essentially testing out his plan and correcting mistakes as he worked. 

As a parent, I appreciated this activity for a few reasons. First, it gave my son a chance to get creative. He was able to come up with his own solution and create a model based on his ideas. Second, the ideas that he came up with were his own. Not mom and dad’s. Not his big brothers who had previously done this activity. They were his. He took great pride in his idea and worked hard to see it come to fruition. Third, he persevered as he worked. Not everything worked how he wanted it to, and he found he had to pivot along the way to make things work. Lastly, he was able to practice dealing with disappointment when he opened his egg container to find that it had not survived the fall and was cracked and smashed on one side of it. 

Any activity that gets kids to think critically is a-ok with me! I want my kids to be able to think through possible solutions and be able to be flexible when things don’t go how they want them to. I want them to be able to make adjustments to their solutions and plans as they go. These kinds of skills are not only useful in school, specifically in STEM related classes, but in life in general. 

So while the egg drop was a fun activity that got everyone involved, it was much, much more than that. Kudos to the teachers who facilitate such engaging, learning enriched activities!

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Letting Kids Fail

My third grader is given a weekly homework sheet, with one side math practice and the other reading practice. Sometimes the reading assignment is to read a passage and answer some comprehension questions, and sometimes it involves reading as much of a passage as possible in one minute, on four separate occasions, while having an adult follow along and count any errors made. The teacher sends the paper home on Monday, and it is due on Friday. With four days given to finish the assignment, you’d think it wouldn’t be a problem to complete it. 

By Thursday night, after my husband and I have both asked (and offered to sit down with him while he does it) our son what feels like 182 times to get his worksheet done, we are tired of asking and have started to feel like we are nagging him. One week last month, he dragged his feet, as usual, and was in a panic on Thursday night when he still hadn’t finished his assignment. Of course it was a week where he had to read a passage four different times, and we were running out of time. Around 10:00 pm, we finally just told him to go to bed and we could try again in the morning. 

Morning came, and he still had zero interest in finishing his work. Out of time and energy, I told him to put his paper in his backpack and just turn in what he did have done. We talked about who was responsible for the assignment being incomplete, and what he needed to do about it. He admitted it was on him, and that he should have done it when we first asked him to. I sent him out the door and hoped for the best.

The protective mom in me wanted to keep him home until he finished it so that he wouldn’t lose points on the assignment. How could I let my own child fail? He’s only nine, after all. As I battled internally for a few minutes, a little voice inside reminded me that failing is part of life. We all have to learn by failing at some point in our lives. Is it a hard lesson to learn? Absolutely. Is it a necessary lesson to learn? 100%. 

As a mom and former teacher, I know how hard it is hard to watch the kids you love fall short. It’s hard to watch them struggle. When our kids are younger, we are there to swoop in and fix things for them. We keep them in a little bubble of sorts to keep them safe and protected. But as they get older, we can’t continue to solve all their problems and keep them in a bubble. As parents (and teachers), it is our job to set up our children for success in life, and one of those crucial lessons to teach is that failure is inevitable, and that it’s okay to fall short sometimes. We must give them the tools they will need for when they do fail so that they can appropriately adjust and find ways to regroup, rethink, and try again. 

So while I wanted desperately to save my son from not getting full points on his homework assignment, I also wanted desperately to teach my son that our actions and choices very often determine our success, and that failure is part of life. I wanted him to know that it’s not the end of the world to mess up on one assignment, and that he could try again next week, learning from his previous experience. I wanted him to know that how we handle failure is important and how we choose to do better the next time is what matters the most. 

As parents and teachers, we’re faced with some pretty tough internal battles. We naturally want to protect the kids we love, but also need to remember that sometimes too much protection and sheltering ultimately doesn’t help, but hinders. We must find a balance between the two and hope we are giving our children and students what they’ll need to succeed in school and in life.